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Category: Transgender Body & Soul
When you’re used to being treated a certain way it’s easy to forget that you are being given credit for you Caucasian maleness. Doors open for you and regard for your knowledge and skill in all areas is taken for granted. But what happens when you go from male to female? Doors may open for you but that’s because you’re a lady and gentlemen will grant you the favor of holding the door. But suddenly all the knowledge and skill you have in areas such as home repair, automobiles, and other stereo typically male interests is no longer acknowledged. The “little lady” must need help. See how Cate O’Malley handles patronizing men.
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Linda Jensen lives in Canada but often winters in Florida during the coldest months. While vacationing there several years ago she met a fellow Canadian name Stephanie and they would get together with mutual friends for en femme lunches. They did this for several years and then, abruptly, the luncheon invitations stopped coming. Imagine Linda’s surprise when she turned on the television and there was her old friend Stephanie.
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Kimberly writes about a time when she moved from the east coast to California. She was only dressing en femme part of the time and that time tended to be very early in the morning. Or late at night if you look at it from another view point. Everyday she would get up and get fully dressed in lady’s business attire. Then off she would go, out into the world. What did she do on these excursions? What adventures did she have? Read her blog post today and learn what she did and to what lengths she went to avoid discovery by her neighbors.
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Pauline Estelle wanted to learn more about how to crossdress and after her first wife passed away she was ready to reach out to a local support group. She joined Xpressions in the Toronto area and soon found herself being a board member responsible for the board’s meeting minutes. Then she stepped in to take charge of the outings known as Pub Nights. Today she tells you all about her time with Xpressions.
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Sophie welcomes the spring season with thoughts on her life since she decided to live as her true self five springs ago. She remembers the rainy spring days when as a child she would walk around in her small town and wonder why she didn’t fit in, why she was different and how could God be punishing her. Those lonely, wondering days are in the past. Now flowers are starting to bloom, warmer days are coming more often and Sophie is being herself.
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The Who had a song on their 1973 Quadrophenia album titled The Real Me. The lyrics are about the singer’s lack of a solid identity and his effort to find his real self. Today Amanda wonders where her real self has gone. While she has pursued her dream of transition for over six years she isn’t finding the peace and satisfaction she thought she would experience as a full time woman. She is haunted by anxiety. And she wonders if she moved into transition too fast while she was caught up in The Pink Cloud of joy experienced by many who give themselves the freedom to express their feminine nature. This is serious. She is even talking about de-transitioning.
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Today Katherine Diaz tells you about a makeover place in her city that shows trans women how to do their makeup. She learns all the trick and tips that a crossdresser needs to be her loveliest. From covering eyebrows with glue stick so they can be drawn on in a better spot to using art techniques to minimize a large nose. Roxana Miranda teaches it all at her Tranxtienda salon. The text in en Español but Katherine speaks English in her video.
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Many trans women are reluctant to express their true selves for many reasons. One reason looms over the others for some. While they may be average height for a male they are taller than the average female. This makes them reluctant to go forth into the world expressing their true gender. They feel that being over six feet (1.8288 meter) tall may draw negative attention to them. Today Claire H. talks about how her 6′ 1″ size made her feel she couldn’t ever be herself. Then she started to find other tall women to provide inspiration. One of them is Tula.
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Today we dig into the past for a Retro Rerun from the 1990s archives of TGForum that takes you much further into the past. Journey now with contributor Andee W to Victorian London when there were magazines that published letters from readers. Letters that discuss the same subjects that you can find in internet chat rooms today. Men would write in and extoll the virtues of dressing in female garb. Or they would write about being forced into a corset and skirts. Andee W dug up several letters from those magazines and presented them to TGF readers in a feature called Footprints From The Past.
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Someone said that the only constant is constant change. If you think you’re always going to be exactly who you are you should learn the wisdom shared by The Artist D! “With age and experience comes wisdom. That is true because with age and experience comes complete and utter exhaustion regarding the things that used to be so damned important.”
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In today’s post Dana Bevan refutes the main points in the book “When Harry Became Sally.” The author of the book, Ryan Anderson, uses junk science, and quotes, or points to people, who are firmly anti-transgender. Dana believes his agenda is to marginalize and sideline trans people while affirming the belief system of conservatives who feel a man is a man and a woman is a woman, and if you don’t fit neatly into one of those two genders then you’re a sinner, an abomination, or worse. See how Dana reduces all of Anderson’s arguments with logic and science.
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Cate O’Malley was moved to write today’s post when she read about the suicide of a promising young trans woman who seemed to have everything going for her. She had the support of her family and friends, was taking hormones and had her surgery scheduled when out of nowhere she took her own life. Cate wonders why she would chose to go through that one way door into eternity, and she wonders how many other trans people faced with more negativity than this girl dealt with have also contemplated taking their own lives. It’s not a cheery upbeat post but it is something we need to be aware of and try to prevent.
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When many trans people begin to dress as their inner gender they feel they have to do so in secret. That leads to sneaking around, creating a secret life that they live outside their “normal” activities. For some that means going “out of town on business” a couple times a month, or having an “important meeting” on the weekend. For Kimberly her adventures en femme started early in the morning. She would get up and put on her makeup, wig and femme attire and go out like a lady running early morning errands. With her spouse’s approval but understanding that the neighbors couldn’t learn her secret Kimberly became an expert at early morning dressing.
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Our new contributor Pauline lives in a semi-gated community with her Lovely Wife. Pauline is quite open about her crossdressing is seen at community activities, such as the Friday night dances, on a regular basis. To help the other residents understand Pauline her wife wrote a letter to the residents and Pauline shares it with us today. Some may want to adapt the letter to use in their own communities.
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Sophie Lynne has attended every Keystone Conference since the beginning so even though she is currently unemployed she couldn’t miss Keystone X. Along with buying some books in the vendor room that she will review in her Page Pundit book blog she ran into a lot of old friends and made some new ones during the event. Today she delves into what the conference has meant for her personally. It helped her stop thinking that transgender people were just a local phenomenon and made her aware of the coalescing of a nationwide trans community.
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It can be hard for a trans woman, whether living en femme full time or just part time, to maintain a feminine voice. No imagine that you are an English speaking trans person who is living in a foreign country. You not only need to pay attention to the pitch of your speaking voice and the way you begin and end sentences. You need to be able to maintain your femme voice while speaking to the local residents in their language. Other languages often have different words or word endings that denote gender. Is it possible to keep your pitch under control while you search your memory for the proper words to convey your gender? Find out how our Correspondent from Thailand, Christine Burr does it.
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Amanda has been blogging about her life in the San Francisco area and she’s not feeling the love. The tech boom in the Bay Area has pushed housing prices sky high. Much of what gave San Francisco its own character is disappearing. The Summer of Love when they wore flowers in their hair is long gone. It might be possible to have a rich, full life there but not on a retail chain salary. More and more everyday Amanda feels like moving back east. You can take the girl out of Pittsburgh but she is going to miss it no matter what. Has she finally reached the point where she packs up and heads back home? Read her personal blog today and find out.
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Our Columbian correspondent writes about a cold night out in Bogota when she and some friends summoned a taxi to take them to a fun spot. The driver was a Caribbean man and his taxi was a mobile disco. She also talks about her friend who only gets out en femme once a month. Read Katherine Diaz’s post en Español or use Google Translate to get the gist of it.
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Our 17-year-old agender contributor is making work for us. The graphics department will have to update “Seventeen” to “Eighteen” on their column’s graphic since M is having a birthday on March 13. Happy Birthday M! Their post today talks about the way it feels to grow older. (These kids today.) But seriously, you will want to know what’s been going on in M’s life and that’s what they talk about in today’s post.
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Claire just came to terms with her trans nature a short while ago but she has been thinking about it and musing on it and being frustrated by it for many years. Once she made up her mind her road to transition to living as a woman seems to be rushing by under her wheels. Her goal is to say goodbye to her male persona in just a few months. She is preparing her coworkers and her circle of friends and acquaintances that the change is coming. Her blog post today will let you know how it’s going.
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Everyone wants to feel attractive. Cisgender women, trans women, and crossdressers want to look good and attract attention. The right kind of attention, though. In these days of #MeTo and the exposure of sexual harassment in many areas is it possible to look attractive without garnering too much of the wrong kind of attention? Angela Gardner examines sexual attraction in our culture and gives her thoughts on how much attraction is too much. Give her opinion piece a read and add your comments on the subject.
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It was the 1960s. I was a young man, a very young man, torn between spending the summer on his expected path of taking accelerated post-graduate studies at the university or diverting toward testing life as a young transgender woman. In those days, unfortunately, continuing my studies and being a transgender woman was not an […]
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Why do fools fall in love? Who knows but as far as everyone else is concerned there is scientific evidence to show why people get together. Since such evidence exists it is only right that our science lady, Dr. Dana Bevan, be the one to present it to you. Dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin factor are just a few of the things she will explain, and don’t worry, it will all make sense. In the end you will gain information on the signals a cisgender woman produces to invite a man to make his move. That should make it easier to avoid, or encourage, male attention.
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Kimberly takes you back to those thrilling days when she first set foot outside of her home while dressed en femme. The first year she views as a write-off but she was starting to get her act together by the second year. She was still making mistakes but she was finding acceptance. Take a trip back to those exhilarating days with Kim’s Adventure Time!
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Now that Cate O’Malley doesn’t have to go to the office every day and pretend to be a man she has the freedom to dress as she likes. You might think that she would spend her days in feminine frills and flouncy dresses. Skirts and high heels with lacy tops and the proper accessories. You would find, if you chanced to visit Cate in her Florida home, that while she is 100% woman, she is practical about her attire. A linen frock and high heel sandals would not be appropriate for cleaning out the gutters. Oh, sure. Cate and her wife could dress up for evening outing. With all the things to do around the house does she really have the energy to gussy up and go out?
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Sophie Lynne has been putting up with a job that exposes her daily to rude comments from customers and she has had to take it with a smile or risk being fired. A job that once fulfilled her has turned into a soul sucking burden that she can’t afford to quit. She needs the money. All that changed last week when she was suddenly, without prior warning, relieved of her soul sucking job when they showed her the door. Now the question becomes, will not having to suffer in a bad job allow her to blossom into another area, or will she succumb to the soul sucking despair of depression?
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