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Suicide: Not Painless

| Mar 26, 2018
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There was a story in the Miami Herald on March 14, 2018, about one of our own who chose to take her own life. She was 17 years old, intelligent, well-liked, supported in her transitioning by her parents, family and friends. She was not bullied. She was taking her hormones and even had her gender-confirmation surgery planned. Everything was going for this young woman who chose the name Hope, but, her hope did not last. She chose to go to the door of that dark place called suicide and step through its door. A beautiful, bright, pure light was forever snuffed out. You can read the article here.

How many lives are lost each year in the Trans* community because hope is lost? Some reports estimate 41% of Trans* people have attempted suicide, far higher, by proportion, with the cisgender community. All suicides are tragic, but when it is a young person, it seems a greater loss. A young life that never had a chance to reach their potential or know the joy of living an authentic life has been lost.

How many of us today have gone to the dark place and stood in the doorway. I have. I remember it looked inviting. All of the pain, torment, fear and suffering will go away by stepping into the darkness, so I thought. However, the pain and suffering does not go away, it only transfers to those left behind. They grieve, wonder what they could have done to avoid this. Ask themselves, what could I have done to prevent this death. This pain never goes away. In the end, I could not inflict that pain on those I love.

What can we do to help ourselves and those in our community? First of all, we need to know help is available. Search for a local mental healthcare provider. If you are working, your employee healthcare provider may offer counseling services through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). That’s where I went during my dark time. It saved my life.

There is a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which can be reached at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They offer help to all who call, including the LGBTQ+ community. Call the above number or visit their website at:

Trans Lifeline is the first hotline dedicated to the Trans* community. They can be reached at US: (877) 565-8860 CANADA: (877) 330-6366 or at

We as members of the Trans* community can each offer help. If you know of someone who is struggling with their gender identity or any other issue, it may help just to let them know you are there and willing to listen and talk. Let them know of local or national services. If you suspect someone may harm themselves, a call to local law enforcement may assist. This is helpful if you do not wish to be directly involved, but want to offer some assistance.

If it is you who is considering suicide, please know there are better alternatives. If you know someone who is suicidal, offer guidance, information, listening or notify authorities. One more death is too many. There is a better way. Let’s help our Trans* family.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul


About the Author ()

I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon. I own the website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.

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