I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon.
I own the MatureTransgender.com website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.
Cate O’Malley has gotten her dander up. What has her riled? She lives in Florida in an area where there are human rights ordinances that protect her from discrimination. But she works just across the county line in an area that offers no such protections to LGBT people. What has her angry and proposing civil disobedience is the lack of protections for every citizen, everywhere.
Everyone can benefit from a bit of makeup. The proper use of cosmetics can make a bland face look vibrant. A touch of lipstick, a hint of blush and a lady feels prepared to take on the world. Some women will not go out of the house without their eyeliner in place. And, on the other hand, over use or improper application of makeup on a trans woman can be a disaster. How does one learn the do’s and don’ts of makeup? Cate O’Malley has some tips.
You can tell a lot about a woman by looking at her purse. Some carry small bags with everything they need organized smartly. Others have gigantic shoulder bags with other bags stuffed inside. Some women always carry the same bag with every outfit, while others coordinate their bag’s style and color to the color scheme of their attire. Today Cate O’Malley takes on the topic of bags and puts forth the criteria she has arrived at after conducting exhaustive research on what constitutes a good purse. See if you agree.
There are many things people expect in life. Often times not getting what they expect causes problems. Their expectations don’t become reality. A son can grow up to become a daughter. A father can stop being a man and become a woman. Adjusting to the fact that accepting people in your life for who they are and not who you expect them to be can be hard. Cate O’Malley has some thoughts on the subject. Along with her impressions of Kinky Boots.
If blending in and passing is what you strive for when you’re out and about in public then this column is not aimed at you. Cate O’Malley has made a decision to not adhere to the dictates of fashion or to just blend in. She has firm likes and dislikes and when she dresses to go out for the day she dresses the way she likes. She also urges others to do fashion their way. Will that approach work for you?
Here it is, the beginning of 2016 and I, like so many of us, make resolutions and polish up my crystal ball to try to determine what awaits us in the New Year. My resolutions usually contain lose weight and exercise. This year, however, instead of setting hopeless goals, I’m throwing out the resolutions, setting […]
Within the trans community there are different factions, cliques, gender identities and opinionated people. Today Cate O’Malley writes about how all those different types of people need to get along and that everyone who identities outside cisgender norms is entitled to full membership in the trans community. Also, they need they need the support of that community.
He, him, she, her, hers, his. Pronouns used in the English language to denote the gender of the person being mentioned in conversation. Markers that put you in the male or female category upon which how you are treated by society rests. Lately a new term has entered the language: preferred gender pronoun. Cate O’Malley isn’t too happy with that term. Do you wonder why? Read on.
After hearing the advice “follow your dreams” for most of her life Cate O’Malley has decided that is good advice by it needs to be amended. Not everyone will want you to chase your dreams. There will be those in your life, those you care about deeply, who will not understand your dream. See what Cate advises if that happens when you try to follow your dream.
Cate O’Malley has learned that no matter how supportive people in your life would like to be they may not be 100% on board with your gender choice. Sure, when you first tell them they be with you all the way but might that be them just wanting to not hurt your feelings with their doubts? Or maybe after some time spent with the new you negative feeling might surface. Today Cate runs through some of the “I support you but…” things she has gotten from family and friends.
All the weddings Cate has attended have required her to wear a tuxedo and be the man. Now things are much different. She is living honestly as a woman. Cate has a single son who will one day most likely get married. Cate has been thinking how different it will be when she attends that wedding. Will the bride’s Great Aunt Fanny have a clue as to who she is? Cate imagines how it will be.
Cate was feeling the need for a spiritual dimension in her life. The “old time” religion just wouldn’t do since all attempts to engage with it resulted in no reply. She looked around a bit and investigated other faith communities. Learn what she found in today’s blog.
Cate O’Malley is appalled at the amount of lotions, unguents, creams, and ointments she has accumulated in her bathroom cabinet. If she adds any more skin creams she will have to rent a storage unit. It’s forced her to ask herself if perhaps she has been conned by the skin cream industry.
Regular, cisgender, folks interacting with trans people they have known for years can sometimes end up saying things they never thought they would. That’s the theme of Cate’s post today, “I never thought I’d say that!” As a trans person moves down their transition path the changes can often make their friends and loved ones to utter the strangest things.
Cate O’Malley is not one of those who transitions and throws away her past life spent as a male. As a late bloomer in the feminine gender she spent years being a man and what he did and the good experiences he had are things she prefers to hold on to. Find out what she means by B.C and A.D. in her post today.
A chance comment from another sister in an elevator lead to a sudden realization for Cate O’Malley. “Any day is a good day when I’m wearing a dress.” It might just be the result of being raised by a mother who felt it was always best to make a good presentation or maybe wearing a dress really does make you feel better, more confident and sexy. Read what Cate has to say in Any day is a good day…
Cate O’Malley looks at the process she went through to “come out” at work and she likens it to becoming The Visible Woman. While before her transition she kept the woman within hidden away, after transition and letting her bosses and co-workers know her true identity she feels like the educational toy from the 1950s — she has become The Visible Woman.
Cate O’Malley hasn’t turned into a movie reviewer over the last month. The “purge” she writes about today is the one that the vast majority of trans people have experienced, not the movie about one day dedicated to lawless chaos. In the the trans purge the remorseful TG vows to give up their cross gender activities and throws out all traces of our other gender. Cate has some suggestions to consider if you feel the urge to purge.
If you live over fifty years of your life in one gender and then transition to living in the other gender there are bound to be things that come up that seem odd. During the first fifty years you were learning about things related to one gender and then you’ve got to catch up in the other. And things start to happen because of your new relation to the world that seem kinda weird.
As a trans woman coming to femininity later in life there are plenty of things that Cate O’Malley is finding frustrating about her new femme lifestyle. Shoe shopping for male feet was simple. Not so with shoe shopping as a lady. And why can you try on two dresses, both the same size, and have one that hangs off your body and one so tight you can’t zip it up? Cate has other things too that make her say “I don’t get it!”
In the movie, The Matrix, Morpheus offers Neo two pills. If he takes the Blue Pill, he goes back to his former life, never knowing anything other than what life was like before. Taking the Red Pill, however, will show him the truth about the world he lives in and he will forever be changed. […]
Transmen, where are you? I don’t know any transmen. I am ashamed to admit it and I am working to correct that shortcoming. I’ve been at gatherings where transmen are present and I briefly speak to them, but I have yet to get to know any and have meaningful and open conversations. I know I’m […]
For trans people who come out later in life it is hard from them to explain to friends and family why, after all the years, they now feel the need to express another gender. Since people who are totally comfortable in their birth gender feel no unease or have any problems related to their gender they often put it down to someone’s mid-life crisis. And then they may suggest….
Are you more ‘T’ than me? Let me ask it this way, are you more of a trans* person than I am? What started this question was a phone call I had with another transwoman who had completed her SRS ten years ago. She is well known in the local community as a resource, guide […]
