Always a Bridegroom, Never a Bride
Always a bridegroom, never a bride
I have been a bridegroom twice. Both women are beautiful, strong, intelligent, witty, charming and confident. The first was my childhood sweetheart and she has a wonderful husband and partner. My second fell ill and is no longer with us. I have been the father of the bride, a best man and a groomsman. However, let’s be honest, what I wanted to be is the bride. I went wedding gown shopping with my daughter and I wanted to try on every dress there. Alas, I came home with a tuxedo. ( I did look very manly, if you go in for that kind of stuff.) Now things are much different. I’m living honestly as the woman I am. I have a single son who will one day get married, so he says. I’ve been thinking how different it will be now as a parent.
The future in-laws
I can’t help but imagine how interesting it will be to meet my future in-laws. I do hope they are open minded and accepting. I’ve thought about introductions the first time the families are together. How does this sound? “Hi, I’m Cate O’Malley, Ben’s dad, welcome to the family.” Then I can introduce my son’s mom. She’s cisgender, so that may give them a little peace of mind.
Rehearsal dinner
At the rehearsal dinner, as I understand it, the father of the groom is suppose to make a toast to the betrothed couple and also the bride-to-be’s family. I’ll be succinct and witty. It’ll be fun. The bride’s great Aunt Fanny may not understand who I am, but that’s okay. I’ll have to get Ben’s mom to schmooze them.
Bachelor/bachelorette parties
Yeah, I imagine I won’t get an invite from either side. Oh well.
Wedding ceremony
This will be the best part! I’ll wear a great father-of-the-groom dress, matching shoes and a hat. (Would gloves be too much?) One of the handsome groomsmen will walk me down the aisle. I’m looking forward to the looks and whispers from the bride’s side of the church. I mean, I will look fabulous and I know they will be green with envy. I’ll have to work it out with Ben’s mom as to which one of us gets to cry the most during the service. Maybe we should take turns. I’ll have a tasteful lace handkerchief to dab my nose. All us ladies do.
The reception
The couple are hitched and we all promenade into the reception hall. It will be glorious. Champagne will flow and speeches will be made. I know Ben’s mom will get a mother-son dance, but do I rate a father-son dance? Hmmm. We’ll have to work that one out. If the father of the bride asks for a dance, I’ll surely have to say yes. He better not step on the toe of my new shoes.
Off goes the happy couple
After awhile, we’ll all gather on the steps as the loving couple dash to the car dodging handfuls of birdseed (rice is so unfriendly to nature). They will speed off to wedded bliss and the rest of us will kick off our heels, loosen our girdles and dance the night away. It will be grand. Hope to see you there.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Fun & Entertainment
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon. I own the MatureTransgender.com website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.Subscribe
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This is an interesting article. My son is getting married in about 18 months. I transitioned 20 years ago. I have just began looking at dresses, not many Father of the Groom dresses at David’s Bridal. The discussion is how do I fit in the ceremony, how are the invitations worded? Updates as they become available.