I Don’t Get It!
I don’t get it!
As I roll along on this topsy-turvy world of transition and living as the female I am, I discover things almost daily that perplex me. I’m asking all of you out there in cyber land if you can help a sister out and as Ricky Ricardo would say, “You got some ‘splaining to do.”
Eyebrows
For the first 57 years of life, I never worried about my eyebrows. Now I spend way too much time considering their shape and placement upon my face. Do I tweeze, thread, pluck, wax or go Frida Kahlo. As I aged, my hair turned gray and so did my eyebrows. Now I have to choose the right color of brow for the time of day, occasion and my makeup. I don’t get it!
Wide size shoes
Last week I went shoe shopping. I had an event to attend and wanted, nay, needed a new pair of shoes. I went into DSW. There, spread out before me, were about a million pairs of shoes. I walked around for an hour and found two pair that were wide size, but not in the size I wear. Am I the only woman in the world whose feet are wide? Sure, I can order on-line, but I have to wait a week or more and when I get them, who knows if they’ll fit. I don’t get it!
L’eggs are back in the egg.
Pantyhose/Tights
I was born in 1950 and grew up watching movies where the beautiful female lead would, in an alluring manner, stick out her glorious gams and slide on a pair of nylons, clip the garters, give the shapely calf a caress and they looked perfect. Jump to now. I pull a pair of pantyhose out of the egg and it looks like it would only fit Barbie. Then I struggle to get them on. It reminds me of making sausage or wrestling with an anaconda coated in baby oil. I’ve tried my left foot first, my right foot first, both feet, sitting on the bed, sitting in a chair, sitting on the floor. I end up jumping around like I’m on a bed of hot coals. Eventually I get them on, but by then, I’m so exhausted, I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t get it!
Dress sizes
Why, why, why is it you can buy two dresses, both the same size and one wouldn’t fit on one of my legs and the other looks like a Bedouin tent? What is really frustrating is when I buy the same label, same size the fit is miles apart. The world standardizes so many things, why not dress sizes? It’s not like I’m buying something from Croatia and the next outfit from Mongolia. For gawd sake! I’m at the mall! Then to add insult to injury, I’m finding that a lot of on-line stores have their own size charts which don’t correspond to anyone else in the industry. I don’t get it!
I don’t get it!
I’ve ranted enough for today. I wish I could tell you these gripes are from years of going through life, but, in reality, these are the things that got me just this week, and it’s only Tuesday! Oh well, life goes on and so do I. Next week I’m sure I’ll have a whole other list of things.
If you have advice for Cate on these dilemmas feel free to use the comment area below. You must be logged in to comment.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon. I own the MatureTransgender.com website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.Subscribe
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I think that perhaps we approach the contact sport of shopping for femme stuff from the wrong end of the pond. I can go to a hardware store and know what nut/bolt/wrench/tool I need and be confident that I will be on or close to meeting my need.
Buying for our newly discovered femme side takes a lot more trial and error with more misses than hits before we find something that works.
I have been in DSW surrounded by thousands of shoes. I am like the shipwrecked sailor…”water…water…everywhere but not a drop to drink”. Historically I would try to buy leather heels on the premise that leather shoes would breather better and stretch a bit better. Lately I have had some great success with Payless. They have a good selection in wide and some of their styles are classic. If you find a good style it is also likely that they will have it is several colors.
For my pantyhose I have been very happy with the selection and fit of silkies.com. Every month or two I get a new batch and finding that their Q-Tall fit enables me to buy style and not worry about fit.
Regarding variations and fluctuations in dress sizes we are all in the same boat. Suck in in and suck it up because there is no solution that I know to trying to get a proper fit other than trial and error.
Good luck but for the most part we will never get it.
Pat
When I was growing up in Belfast and looking for nice shoes it used to be the worst thing. My sister and sister in law had feet way too small for me. Once I savaged and sliced a pair of strappy sandals and added string so I could wear them. It was so difficult finding anything nice in a large size. Usually they were flats and looked horrible, if I wanted a nice elegant pump it would have cost the earth from a speciality shop.
This also led to the frustration in putting an ensemble together. A woman, with ‘normal’ sized feet could go out buy a dress then go find shoes to match. I had to hunt for the shoes first then go find something to go with them!
It seems to be getting easier in Australia, young women are taller and want nice shoes so the market seems to have discovered they have a whole new group of people prepared to part with money.
As for dress sizes being standardised! Long ago someone decided to create a mannequin and decided this was the shape and size the woman who wore their creation would be. Probably a size 10 in Australian scale. Then they worked out the size range from it. 12, 14. Thing was all the manufacturers did the same thing and had their own idea of what a size 10 should be. There was a push some years ago to get manufacturers to do this. I think it died.
When I was a little boy out of curiosity I asked my mother how she put on her stockings. She said you had to scrunch them up with your thumbs inside and slip the toe over your toes, then gently pull them up. Years later when I started wearing pantyhose I remembered that little lesson that mom gave me (never thinking I would use it, I bet) and I’ve never had trouble getting into pantyhose unless they are too tight. If the pantyhose are too small then you will have to wriggle and writhe to get them up and they won’t want to stay up. Too small pantyhose are also the cause of most women’s complaints about how they get so uncomfortable after several hours. In pantyhose size matters.
Hi Cate Like you most of us “NEW” woman have to learn all this just as born woman do. The difference is we do not have any girlfriends to grow up with sharing. I have found that as far as pantyhose I buy them in a 3-4 x and they have more material and fit a little better. As far as shoes usually payless has a decent selection of larger woman’s sizes, once you find and figure your size in the store they have a much better selection on line. Usually the big brands do not cater to us larger sized women. On the dress front I do understand your frustrations, even born women have these same rants. I do agree it is hard to buy online without trying the dress, skirt, blouse on. Why women have never demanded a standard in sizing I do not know, but it would help. Great luck on your journey and enjoy this wonderful time in being a woman.
Barbara