General Discussion of Transgender Issues

[corduroycactus]

hey all! i’m not sure if i’m allowed to be here but i thought i’d give it a try. i have friends who transitioned ftm. i want to be able to be supportive and educated on everything that needs to be known and i’m generally very interested in transgender rights and history. i have done research about the topic, but i know there are things that obviously i don’t know.
if anybody could just inform me on anything and everything i need to know about transitioning, transgender rights, and it’s history, please inform me.
thank you so much!!

[RobbenWendy]

Hello, what kind of crime is bullying a transgender elderly? It is a vicious, and violent crime that deserves capitol punishment, yet if a person seizes the chance to even walk a fine line, and dress in accordance to their behavior, that might be called a lawful and defensive act. The fact is that I am Transexual the more I am here, the more opportunity I have to see people for who they really are: gay – not straight, and a- sexual; The people who believe that a Transexual wouldn’t do anything, but put up defiance are fools, and can be laughed at, put into public scrutiny, and embarrassed. talking about cross genders on the bus, in the waiting, room, about sleeping in the bathrooms is, ridiculous. I even offered my services to a mistress, to punish me for such behavior. The trick of life is to stay where you are, and not do anything to anyone until you are told to speak, then you can listen more closely, and carefully to everyone, and everything that’s going on, and not be so dumb about your being just silly, Honey.

[Anonymous]

Heidi, what took you from genderfluid to Trans. I am still in the genderfluid space but need to go further. How did you start that discussion with the family?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I have evolved through life but life was dictated by societal norms. My best friend at school was the [secret] love of my life – he was conditioned ny society to be a stereotypical alpha male….30 years on he has just come out as gay…he could have been my husband 30 years ago if attitudes has been different. I am no better, I am long time married (nearly 30 years as well). My wife knows I am bisexual but has absolutely no idea about my gender fluidity (which started 45 years ago and manifested itself about 5 years ago when actually, gender fluidity wasn’t good enough and actually ‘trans’ is amore accurate label and I really pursued cross dressing (which I have done since climbing into my sisters dress aged 5).
How do I come out to my wife? Coming out as Bi was painful, involved alcohol and to this day she is still slightly in denial, (and not helped ny my best friend from school and husband I never had coming out as gay).
To make matters worse, I am in a job where machoism makes all the difference (Armed Forces) and I am too much of a coward to join the trail blazers – there are some excellent and brave trail blazers but they have the massive advantage of being young. I am too old to suddenly stand out…but I need to, in fact I want to come out!
I am such a hypocrite. I hated my wife being pregnant because it ruined her body. Now I want to be pregnant. How does that work? And what do I say to my 2 strapping Alpha male sons?
All my Trans activities are done in secret apart from the dogs. How do I break the cycle? And she would be ruined if I told her. |It is her life or mine and I can’t ruin hers!

[DeeAnn]

Sounds like you are going through MANY of the same conflicts that other trans folks have gone through. Perhaps some professional help is needed to sort through what’’s on your mind. When faced with a number of issues at once, it can seem like they are of equal importance, but they may not be. Understanding and prioritizing these issues is where a good therapist who is knowledgeable about gender issues comes in. But, know that figuring out where things sit for you and how this may, or may not, have direct bearing on the rest of your life and relationships is something that needs to be understood. If not, one can be stuck at an impasse.

One general thing to point out is that gender fluidity is not a conscious thing from my understanding. It is an unconscious process. Something happens to cause someone to go forward from a feminine perspective at some point in time. At another point in time, something else happens and they go from a female perspective to a male perspective. Currently I don’t know if anyone can say with any certainty what brings this on. In my layman’s mind, it may not be dissimilar to multiple personalities. Mental health professionals don’t exactly know what causes those shifts either. They just happen. Presumably there is a reason, but it hasn’t been clearly discovered. Note that I’m not saying that these situations are equivalent, just that they happen unpredictably and without conscious thought.

[Sweetheart]

I would like to know ,how must I determine the size of wwomen pump high Heels for my feet size of 27.5cm lenght.

The second question I have is.
How must I know what ,what is the size of these Pantyhose/Tights that is manufactured in China.

I seen here in our Country South Africa, at the China shops ,that the pantyhose they. Selling has no size on the Package only a number.
Even on these online shops likeEbay,Amazon.and AliExpress, that the pantyhose they selling is mostly state One Size.
How must. I know what is the real size is for me.

[DeeAnn]

The chart below shoes the length versus size information, but I don’t know if South African follows the European scheme or not. The chart came from an online show retailer called Zappos. Amazon purchased them some years back.

Can’t help with the pantyhose sizing…

I don’t know if it is a temporary condition as to why the chart doesn’t display. The chart is at:

https://www.zappos.com/c/measure-your-shoe-size

[DeeAnn]

Actually, for pantyhose, check:

https://www.stockingshq.com/

They are from the UK and usually include height and hip measurements. There doesn’t seem to be any standardization with pantyhose sizes with various sizing schemes in play…

[RachelleGates]

You can also get some insight on some of the best bra recommendations for cross dressers on blogs.

[CourtneyRanae]

Good day, all!
It has been many years since I visited this haunt! I expected there to be more here than there is as it was pretty active back then.
But that is ok! Maybe it is under new management and will be a better place to visit!
Anyway. . .
56 Years old, married, but TG. MtF. Just an ugly ol’ gal. . .
It’d be nice to have a friend to talk to again!
Ta-Ta for now!

[TinaIsDead]

How do you guys cope with the pain of never, ever being able to be yourself, not once in this lifetime?

It’s been close to forty years now, and I’m honestly getting to be so burned out. Thinking of clocking out.

I don’t know. I just want to hear someone else admit it… fucking fuck…

[TinaIsDead]

My worst fear, my worst fear, my worst fucking fear… is that it wont stop. That there is an afterlife. That I’m still trapped. That this same shit goes on forever.

That’s what I really fear.

Fuck. I really want to hear from you.

Reassure me it isn’t so, even though, of course, no one can know.

How do you cope?

[Gwen2048]

Hi ladies, ICMY, The US Supreme Court, in a 6-3 decision ruled that trans workers cannot be discriminated against, as part of the anti-discrimination statutes that govern cis-men and women.

[Jessie]

Hello there, this is my first post (hopefully in the right thread) and I just wanted to ask a question. To put things in context I am a 38 year old married ‘man’ with two lovely young children. I have had gender issues for as long as I can remember but find myself in a position where I feel unable to remove myself from the position I find myself in. The fear of letting my wife and children down seems to far outweigh the need to be the person I feel I am. It is stifling to be honest and I find the thought of not being honest with myself and those I love about who I believe myself to be just as terrifying. For anybody reading this who was in a similar position can I ask if it was a gradual thing or whether you just knew one day that the time was right to be honest and ‘come out’ with those you love? I am sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel but I am not sure I can see it yet.

Thank you in advance

Jessie

[WildeGeist]

Gender is a complexity whose totality is permanently deferred, never fully what it is at any given juncture in time. An open coalition, then, will affirm identities that are alternately instituted and relinquished according to the purposes at hand; it will be an open assemblage that permits of multiple convergences and divergences without obedience to a normative telos of definitional closure.Judith Butler

[Author]

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