General Discussion of Transgender Issues

[carla1212]

Hi,
I just saw your post – better late than never! – and I thought you totally nailed this. I present as a straight-but-single male in my professional life, family and certain in-between contexts, and I’ve had both straight and gay friends make awful comments when we are in public and see transpeople walking around here in Baltimore. I have to bite my tongue! But the thing that mostly disturbs me is that my gay friends and/or co-workers join right in, making fun of even the most passable, attractive and classy transwomen. I just don’t get it – of all people, you’d think they would see us as natural allies. But the one thing I do get is that a lot of transwomen are indeed their own worse enemies, too wrapped up in their individual worlds to see the bigger picture and work together. We need to grab a piece of our own turf in the world, before some fascist decides to take away what little we have.

[gabinewgirl]

Hi All,

I am new here, wanted to say “hi.” It looks like I have a similar story to many here. I’ve had these feelings since before puberty. Culture and the times didn’t permit any kind of expression of this. But in the last 12 months things have come together in a way I never thought would be possible. So, now in my 50s, I started HRT one week ago. I had considered myself a crossdresser but I think I was always Trans but circumstances didn’t let me recognize or acknowldge that.

For now COVID has me working at home and I’ve been able to live 24hrs as a female. I’ve taken my clothes and shoes out of their hiding places and have then nicely hung and arranged in my closet. I now feel comfortable leaving my makeup in the bathroom instead of the bottom drawer of my dresser. And I like comfortable and practical clothes and shoes rather than trying to look sexy all the time. I love my wedge heels because I can spend all day in them in comfort.

As a male I hated shaving, was messy and careless about dressing. As a female I love shaving my legs. One thing that I worry is kind of trivial is that the first time I used my breast forms with adhesive it was like a different experience. They moved with me rather than the bra, like they were a part of me. I wore a strapless dress without bra and spent the day like that and I had a strange feeling of…I don’t know. It felt right, the body even more than the makeup. At that moment I realized, this is who I am. Scary but thrilling.

[meteaude]

Hey,
My first post here, so I’m not really sure it’s the right place to post it.
If not, feel free to tell me, and I’ll remove it and post it in the right channel.
So, I’m 21 and I’m from France. I came here because since autumn 2019, I’ve been questioning myself about my gender identity. Actually I’ve been wondering how life would be as a female for years, but that was all, because I thought since I was born a male I’d be a male and that’s all. I didn’t think at all of transitioning or being a female for real.
But then one of my Facebook friends transitioned and her Transition made me reflect. It was possible to become a female from a male body. I searched it on the web andi began to think that could be my case too.
But maybe I did things too fast, because a few days after I actually outed myself to my family (they didn’t take it well, I can assure you !) I decided to go back. I wasn’t ready I hadn’t done anything yet so it wasn’t too hard.
And I spent maybe 6 months, until summer 2020 without thinking of it.
Then it came back. Briefly first. Then more and more remnant. And now, i feel like I might not belong in male gender again. I don’t like my body these days. I feel wrong in the ways I should act, react.
I’m still not ready to go through a transition, I’m not even sure I would be happy in a female body. I’ve never experienced female life so it’s difficult to judge.
Crossdressing would be an interesting experience but there are two problems right now. First, I’m as shy as it’s possible, and afraid of the look of the others. Being recognized in the streets in clothes an other gender would probably shame me to death !!!
Second is that right now I don’t look very feminine. my body is too hairy. My shoulders too large. I try rectifying the hair part, but not too fast, so it’s not too obvious (I know some close members of my family are not really open to these issues).
Well, so before talking about transition, I’d like to talk with people that feel like me, like (i think the term for it is “an egg”). Or have been in my case. How do they feel, how did they feel ? What did they do ?
Thanks, and since it’s currently 10PM here when I’m writing these lines, good night.

[Anonymous]

Good information

[zlroderick]

Hi everybody.

My name is Zoe and I am a trans housewife.

I am writing a diary about my life and posting updates online each month. I’d love for you all to join me.

Introduction

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by zlroderick.

[Anonymous]

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[zlroderick]

Hi everyone.

I’ve started writing a blog about my life as a trans housewife.

Feel free to have a read if you like.

Introduction

Kind regards

Zoe

[kingsex]

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[Anonymous]

So this isn’t exactly a transgender issue per se, but… Well, I was wondering way back when I first came around here, and I was just wondering about it now: Why is this forum so small? I mean, when I started looking for a transgender related forum, I’m pretty sure I had a hard time finding any at all. And this is literally the smallest forum I’ve ever seen.

It really makes no sense to me because, while I don’t have even a remotely good idea of how many trans people there actually are, with how much trans gender people and trans related issues are talked about, I would think there would be at least one forum, if not many, where thousands or tens of thousands (or way more even) trans people would be flocking to on the internet. I mean the internet is, in one sense, one of the greatest safe havens for people dealing with any manner of personal issues or problems; due to the anonymity the internet provides, coupled with its inherent capability to bring together people from all over the world, any major group of people SHOULD be able to assemble together massively.

[Anonymous]

Has anybody ever noticed that the word Transphobia (and its variants) seems kind of incorrectly named? What I mean is that normally when a word ends in “phobia,” it means “fear of,” not hatred of or looking down on or what have you (Arachnophobia = fear of spiders, Claustrophobia = fear of small places, etc.). I came to realize this when I was trying to do some research on people who don’t hate or disapprove of trans people, but they are perhaps somehow just uncomfortable with trans people or even just the idea of people being or becoming trans. I started thinking along the lines of, “Maybe I can find some interesting information or theories on ‘Transphobia’ if I search for it. Of course, everything that came up was simply the pointing out evidence of people being outright prejudiced towards trans people.

It seems like there is no “official” word that actually represents the kind of thing I was thinking about. Of course, its easy for one to form some theories: People who are transphobic were raised with prejudiced views built into them by their transphobic parents. Or, People very often feel uncomfortable with new ideas that really challenge their worldview (like the idea that there are men, and women, and not a whole lot in-between.) I would really like to see articles on this kind of thing, but if they even exist they seem to be extremely elusive.

I think it would be useful for people to encourage critical analysis about how and why people develop transphobia in any sense of the word, in order to better help people rid themselves of it, or even just become aware that they are transphobic in the first place (and that its not good to be transphobic).

[Mason6977]

Hey guys! I’ve been transitioning for a little bit now and finally getting to the phase where I’m starting to talk to doctors and stuff to get my top surgery done. Now obviously it’s been a hard road and I’m sure most of you can relate to that so I’ve set up a gofundme for my top surgery since saving up on my own has not been going so well since I’ve had to help take care of my mom since she got cancer. I’ve had to take over 3 properties (care wise) and from one person who doesn’t feel right or feels disgusting in their own skin to another who also knows the feeling, I’m asking for help. I hope everyone stays safe and be careful out there. If no one has told you that they believe in you today, then I believe in you!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-jess-and-send-support-for-the-freedom?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

[Anonymous]

I have been using male to female hormones for 6 months now and am looking forward to my gender affirming surgeries. My transitional counselor informed me that one requirement of attaining the surgeries is that I have someone to care for me after the surgeries and I really have no one to assist me. Has anyone had a similar experience. I really would welcome any advise or suggestions on how to solve my problem.

[Helphb10002]

Need your help!

I am a concerned nurse that is trying to advocate for a non English speaking Trans Woman who has absolutely no family support because she has kept her identity and recent surgery a secret from all her family. (Ex wife, children, elderly parents, siblings and friends).

She underwent vaginoasty surgery recently. She has not had and continues to have a very poor experience with after surgical care from her medical team due to the language barrier.

Her first post op appt at the surgeon’s office was 16 days post op. Her indwelling foley was removed at that visit. She was given a follow up appt 3 weeks out and was instructed not to start dilation until after that appointment. That would make it 37 days of no dilation after surgery. She was never given an explanation as to why she cannot dilate and the doctors sent her home with a bag of non-sterile gauze and instructed her to wet the gauze with tap water and place the gauze outside the neo vagina to keep the area moist until her next visit. When I called the doctor’s office for her, the md office informed me the reason for delayed dilation is because of rectal injury repair. When I probed further to ask if the patient was informed of this injury and if the injury had happened during surgery, the md staff became quiet and said, “I can’t answer those questions for you.”

My suspicion is the patient has not been told about the rectal injury. Hence the medical team did not give her a reason for her delayed foley removal and delayed dilation schedule. I am not at liberty to disclose this information to the patient per my company. I told her that if she doesn’t understand why they are delaying her dilation schedule, she has the right to ask the medical team to give her a detailed explanation, until she understands.

She said she would reach out to the surgical coordinator liason and her hormonal MD to help advocate for her. I’ve also requested through her insurance for a social worker to be assigned to help her but I am not sure how versed the social worker is about transgender services.

That’s what led me to this forum which I found through a google search. I am hoping the members on this forum could give me some resources that are available in NYC that could help advocate for her. I could pass those resources to our in house social worker if her insurance approves placement.

She is extremely worry about vaginal closure. Due to the language barrier and her zero support system, I am trying to help her find a support group that has someone that speaks Chinese (Mandarin), that may be kind enough to go with her to her next md appointment. She is currently residing in the lower east side of Manhattan.

In the meantime, I will call the surgeon’s office and request that a clinician calls the patient using their language line to explain the rationale for the delayed dilation schedule.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Helphb10002.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Helphb10002.

[Peppe]

Hi, I´m Peppe, and have a relationship with a transexual woman that I love dearly.
I´m looking for a forum for us men that have trans women as sexual preference.
I for example prefer non-op trans and when this came out, sharing my relationship on my timeline on Facebook, I got a mess from my brother asking me if I was gay as I´m not. I just do not prefer trans women over born women.

We don´t really belong anywhere. “Normal” men consider us gays, gays consider us confused, etc.
That and other issues need to be addressed on a dedicated part of the internet because there are a bunch of us that share this attraction.

Have a nice day.
Peppe

[Anonymous]

Hello all, I am new here. I hope all of you are well. I have been on and off hormones since 2017. I have had to stop and restart like 4 times. Just wondering if anyone has any advice on P. Not sure if I’m supposed to ask, if not I apologize and will refrain

[Author]

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