General Discussion of Transgender Issues

[angela_g]

Questions? Information on transgender issues you’d like to share? This is the place for it!

[Panties4danni]

Good afternoon All,
I live in the U.S. Virgin Islands, 1,200 south-east of Miami. I am seriously considering transitioning and there is little support here relating to Doctors and hormones. Seriously, none. I am looking for assistance and guidance on how to proceed?
To put my situation in perspective, imagine you live in a third-world country and you are considering transitioning, what is my best course of action? I can fly state-side but is there a right and wrong way? Can this be accomplished in some type of structured visit(s)?

Any help is appreciated.

Thanks,

Danni

[angela_g]

Danni,
The Standards of Care were established so professionals (doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists) would have a guide in the treatment of transgender people transitioning genders.
https://www.wpath.org/publications/soc
You can download the Standards and read them. You then should find a psychologist in on your island and if they are not familiar with gender transition you can give them the Standards. The other advice is, make a plan. Don’t just leap into things. Read the Standards, and then look for the professionals you need to facilitate. Also have a plan for how to come out to family, friends, co-workers, etc. There is another thread on this Forum dedicated to transition questions. Check it out. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Google is your friend. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/transgender/virgin-islands
I would start with some therapy for two reasons. First is to help myself cope with and deal with the upcoming changes. The second is they will probably have contacts in the local community or be aware of contacts other clients have made use of. Back before the internet we had the public library. From there we would find a doctors name to get “into the system” and that would open other options to us. Transition is a long process. Mail order for some things like meds is easier today but limiting distance traveled to doctors will minimize stress. I had to travel into NYC about every week or so. Luckily I had days off during the week as it was 2 hours each way plus the office visit, train schedules etc.. it pretty much used up the day for a 1 hour office visit. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

I think I’m a transgender male, but I have some questions:

1: Previously I identified as a woman, and I felt comfortable with it. It’s safe to say I was more tomboy-ish than your average woman, but I was still a woman. I only felt like I should be a man until recently. I noticed that many trans people have felt like their true gender their whole lives, so do I really qualify for being trans?

2: Can I say I’m transgender if I haven’t actually transitioned, or do I say I want to be transgender? Will I offend anyone by saying I’m transgender before I start the transition?

Thanks to all who answer my questions!

[Anonymous]

Hello malloen,

Welcome. As to question #1 That’s really up to you to figure out. If you have questions to might try a LGBT counselor to help you sort it all out. They really can be helpful. Have you tried to “butch up” your life and see how that makes you feel? To try being more masculine in your everyday life? You really have not given us much information for a more detailed answer.

As for question #2 trans is such a wide umbrella these days that anyone one who questions their gender can fall under it.

Just ALWAYS remember to be true to yourself. Everyone’s journey is different so what someone else needs could be totally wrong for you. You have to walk your path. Avoid group think.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Melissa! Lucky for me, my wardrobe is mostly gender neutral, so I don’t have to change what I wear too much. However, I look pretty feminine so I’m not sure that will matter. Hopefully I can get a chest binder or something, that would help a lot.

[angela_g]

You can find binders here: https://www.f2mbinders.com/
Also check or Resources page for FtM resources.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your willingness to provide answers for some tg who had questions.

[Anonymous]

Wow, that’s good. Lemme go ahead and suggest this for my tg friend also. Good idea and thank you for the hint.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this source, now I can have my answers here in my head.

[torry4738]

thanks for information provided!

[torry4738]

Thank you so much for useful thread! it really helps me, because i want to do a coming out

[DeeAnn]

torry:

Coming out is a very personal thing. The thing is to choose a way that you are comfortable with and talk to the people who have significance for you. What’s important is for you to tell your story in your own way. This is what is meant by the phrase: Controlling The Narrative. You want your story to be presented in the way the You want, not what others want.

[Artisticmystic]

Hello, this is my first post here and I just need some friendly ears and advice for I am at a crossroads in my life.

I am currently friends with a guy who’s transitioning. We’ve been good friends for about 3 years and I’ve always known him to be on the more effeminate side, but that really didn’t bother me as we were just cool peeps. He admitted to me one day that he was gay and my response to that was, “ok, so are we going half on the pizza or what?” In other words, it didn’t bother me and we continued our friendship.

For the past year he has started wearing makeup and dressing up to go to the clubs with his other transgendered friends. I always tell him to be careful because here in the city, some of the haters do some really hateful things to the patrons.

A few months ago I had to pick up my friend as his ride was too drunk to drive him back home. No problem, not something that I had a problem with.

When I got there, sure enough, I saw his friends, 3 sheets to the wind so to say, and a reddish blonde goddess sitting off to the side. It was my friend! I was completely in awe. She came up to me and said, thanks for coming, I really need to get home and out of these heels!

In my mind I was thinking, “damn, they look really good on you…”

So we’re on the way back to her place and I keep glancing over while making small talk about the latest video game that has come out. My palms were sweating and I don’t know what came over me, but I just blurted it out….”you look amazing.”

She blushed and turned pretty pink, and turned away from me….but in the windows reflection, I saw her smile.

Once we made it back to her apartment, I walked her to the door and made sure she made it in safely. Before I left, I again said, “you look….really good.”

She kissed me. I was taken aback, but I kissed her back passionately. After that I went home and we made no mention of what happened between us.

Fast forward to today. I think about her all the time. I can’t get her out of my mind and I find any excuse to be with her. She’s just started taking hormones and her family hasn’t really come to terms with it. My question is, what should I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also don’t want to miss out on being with a great girl.

[Author]

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