I’ve Seen This Before

I had this idea about an article planned about Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back…anyway, a researched article comparing what happened there in 1933 to what’s happening in the U.S. today. However, since I saw my daughter this weekend, I didn’t finish it. Watch this space.

Instead, I’ll ramble a bit on a different topic. You lucky people.

I have a dear friend who lives in a large, affluent suburban area. I’ll call her Terri. She is currently what one would call a crossdresser. She dresses when she can, which means when her wife and kids are away, and she’s not at work.

She is one of the most beautiful women I’ve seen, and I’m not the only one who thinks this. At the Keystone Conference last year (or was it the year before,) a bunch of us sitting around the table at the gala were all lavishing her with praise. Especially her breasts, as she did quite a wonderful job with her cleavage. (To give you perspective, I was in a low cut gown, showing off my girls, and SHE still got all the attention!)

She and I text each other regularly. She shows all the signs — I’ve seen them before. More and more, she’s been saying how she wants “more” — she dreams of being full time. She dreams of attracting a man. She craves more time as Terri.

Her wife doesn’t know about Terri. Nor do her children. The only people that know about Terri are, well, us — her sisters. She believes that if her wife discovered her secret, that it would mean instant divorce. Also, she works in a profession that is heavily male and misogynistic, so transition would cost her that job.

She is not on Facialbook, but she is on Flickr, so there is a remote chance of someone she knows finding those pics. However, as I always say, if they aren’t looking for “him,” especially in a dress, they won’t see “him.” No, any accidental discovery would be due to Terri’s own error.

Yes, I’ve seen this before — several times in fact. It always ends the same way: discovery. Living two separate lives is too hard a secret to keep forever (although I’ve heard of some who did it until the grave.) Lives torn apart. Then, after the fires of that pain recede, the person decides to transition. After all, they have nothing left to lose.

I see all the signs here, and I remember how it happened to me.

You see, this weekend, I saw Wife and Daughter. We met at a point halfway between us, and spent a pleasant couple of days together. This morning at breakfast, I looked at my Wife, and noticed lines and wrinkles around her eye that I’d never noticed before. She’s over fifty now, as I am. Next year marks thirty years since we met. Neither of us are young anymore. Not only have I missed my Daughter’s childhood, I’m missing Wife and I growing old together.

I’m often asked if transition is worth the price. My answer is always “No.” But that implies I had a choice.

I hope that Terri is wrong about her wife’s possible reaction — and that she and her family aren’t split by this.  Terri is a wonderful person, and like so many of us, she deserves happiness.

I’d love to see a happy story. Just once. Because I’ve seen this all before.

Do you have a happy story to share? Login here and use the comment area below.

Tags: featured, partners, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul