Insomnia

Lance?

No one by that name here. Go away. I’m trying to sleep.

That’s your name. You know it.

My name is Sophie. Check the paperwork and go away.

Sophie is a made up name for a made up person.

Sophie is who I am.  Go away!  I have class in the morning!

Class my ass. Who are you trying to fool?  You’re going to fail out. You have as much chance of getting that degree as you do of having a baby.

I’m too old to have a baby. Shows what you know.

And guys can’t have babies.

Last time I checked, I wasn’t a guy. Go look at my birth certificate.

Yeah, well that thing between your legs says otherwise.

Gender is in the mind, not between the legs.

You’re talking slogans while I’m talking physical reality, fat boy.

Again with the insults.

Looked in a mirror lately?

I’m aware of my shortcomings. And I’m working on it. I took a walk yesterday.

Whoop de do.

I’m taking another melatonin.

Your sleeping pills won’t silence me.  You know it in your soul.  For I am your soul… you cannot escape me. You are puny, you are small–

Wow — are you gonna quote Frank Miller the rest of the night, or let me sleep?

…

I’m a woman named Sophie. I’ve destroyed my life to live this Truth, and…

Yes, hurt everyone that loved you…

…and I’m going to continue being me.

Please. You don’t have a hope in hell of success.

You’re right — I have no hope.

Lost it long ago.

But my success isn’t based on that.

If I can help just one person coming up behind me avoid the horrors I’ve experienced, I’m a success.

Childish sentiment.

Maybe. But it keeps me going.

Lisa would laugh at you.

Maybe. So what? I could always make her laugh.

You know what I mean.

So what? She’s gone. I miss her, but I have a life…

Hah!  Some life!

…a life that involves people I love, especially my daughter…

Who you barely see…

…and I will succeed despite my own inner demons. You haven’t won yet.

But I will. You know it.

Not today. There are too many people counting on me now.

Arrogant narcissist.

They believe in me, even if I don’t believe in myself.

They lie.

Maybe.  Some of them. But most of the liars left when I transitioned.

…

I KNOW who my friends are. Side benefit of transition.

…

That’s what I thought.

…

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Like to make a comment? Login here and use the comment area below.

Tags: featured, Identity, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul