Early TDOR 2021
On Wednesday, November 17th, Penn State marked Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). We did it early because on Saturday most of the students will be away on break. Makes sense, right? In any case, I work for the Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity (CSGD) part time, so they did the ceremony along with other organizations. I read an original piece (which may or may be appended below.) I also read some names, including a brother and sister, as well as speaking during open mike. (I was interviewed as well in the school paper.)
Reading the names of the siblings: Jeffery “JJ” Bright, a 16-year-old trans boy, and his non-binary sibling, Jasmine Canady, 22, really affected me. They were murdered by their mother for being transgender — shot in the head. So young.
The thought lingered in me. So young, and killed because of who they were. The mother pleaded not guilty. Not freaking guilty for executing them.
I then stood to speak at “open mic.” I don’t remember all that I said. I opened with “I don’t know what it means to be cisgender” then talked about fear. Fear of being caught dressing by parents, about Wife finding out, about losing everything because of coming out. . . and then there’s violence. In Detransition, Baby, Torrey Peters wrote that trans women of color are murdered, while if a white trans girl dies prematurely, it’s usually suicide. Either way, dead.
Death doesn’t scare me — never did. However, I wonder how long it will be until another person I know’s name is read at TDOR. A week doesn’t pass without word of the suicide of a trans friend or a trans friend of a friend crossing my social media feeds. Too many of us are dying. I read in an academic paper recently that the average age of death for a transgender woman is 32. I don’t remember which paper, but it was peer reviewed, so must be somewhat accurate. And none of those count natural deaths (miss you Katie!). I thought I was desensitized to loss, but as the number of dead friends continues rising. . . well, I’m not.
Transnecropolitics means that transgender people (especially of color) are only of value to society as statistics- number of dead. It’s one of those fancy academic terms I’ve learned as I sit here uselessly at school as others are dying. The problem is- the term is absolutely correct.
I remember one other thing I said — that I’m afraid that my life, or someone I care about, will be reduced to just a name to be read on November 20. And mostly forgotten by the next year.
I know a few trans people in person, and many online. The idea that all of these lives, these people, will be reduced to just a statistic or column inches, it sickens me. Is sick the same as fear?
I wish a peaceful Thanksgiving to my USA readers.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul