What’s In a Name?

| Sep 9, 2019
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Transgenderism, bigenderism, crossdressers, transvestites or non-binary persons, are terms given to men or women who choose to express themselves in their opposite gender [Or no gender.]. In many this compulsion to emulate and dress in the clothing of the opposite sex is strong and has caused suicidal tendencies in some people if denied. Why do they do it? Possible reasons are hormone imbalance, alterations in the brain structure, childhood environment, or plain desire. In most cases, the individual doesn’t make a conscious decision about dressing. It occurs over time and while difficult to understand, thoughts creep into a person’s mind until they start to gel and form a firm idea that one is living in the wrong body. Or at the least, while living full time as a male or female is living a lie.

As a child matures, it feels different from its contemporaries, if the opportunity occurs, the child sneakily dresses in female clothing, without realizing the consequences or understanding the reason. As life progresses, school, college, work, societal mores, and family, the need to dress can be suppressed for years. Then, without warning,  the need to dress roars back into a person’s life, what can be done about it? You have a secret the world must not know about under any circumstances. No one else in the world is doing this, or so you think. What now?

The priority, is obtaining female clothing. If there is any in the home which fits, so much the better. If you have a female friend in whom you can confide, she may be willing to help solve this problem. The alternative is to buy some for your self, but how? Visit clothing stores and purchase fake presents for a mystery woman. Dresses, jewelry, or makeup are not too difficult, but lingerie is a real problem. Style sizing and design are not questions for the novice crossdresser. You have now entered the world of women, which is so different from the life you have been living. Clothing styles, color matching, seasonal requirements, and shoes, are a problem all on their own. Male shoe sizing is different from female and it is necessary to determine what size heels you can walk in. Names like pumps, sling-backs, and slides enter your vocabulary. This whole new world can be daunting, and expensive. Your lack of confidence and understanding makes this chosen lifestyle quite complicated.

By way of the media, you come to realize that you are not alone in the world. How can you meet fellow travelers? The internet of course, where you  discover what organizations are available! There are clubs, support groups, and even parades where the genre demonstrates to the world that transgenderism in all its forms is alive and well and growing like wildflowers. You join a club and attend events in male clothing when permitted. You meet others with the same desires and makes friends. As your confidence grows, you boldly step out in female clothing to club functions or a restaurant for dinner with your new friends. Your journey has now begun, increasing confidence makes you bolder and less concerned with what others think. You are  still conscious of the people around and wonder what they see. Hope beyond hope they see a woman and not a man in a dress. As time goes by most of these feelings go away and you go out in public — to the theatre, restaurants, public places, shopping, or even on vacation. This is the new you.

Although you are enjoying this new lifestyle, you cannot prevent the inevitable. You become older and the aging process brings a new set of problems. The body becomes less flexible, your waist size increases, skin starts to sag, wearing higher heels and stilettos becomes a problem, and other functions of the body are less active. New clothing styles, different makeups, new shoes and a changed outlook on life, (which is not necessarily a bad thing). So enjoy yourself the best you can. Have fun with dressing and your friends, as unfortunately, it won’t last forever. (Nothing does.)

So what’s in a name? It’s not important. We are all the same and yet we are each different. No matter what I am called I support my sisters and hope they have had as much success and fun as I have. I know some girls have a difficult time with the whole process for many, many reasons. Just keep your head up, your turn will come.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion


About the Author ()

I was born in England in 1935 and spent fourteen years in British Navy starting in 1951. I married in 1958 and stayed that way for 51 years. My wife gave me 3 sons all now in their fifties, only one knows of my little pecadilo. Four grand children all in or completed University. I emigrated to Canada in 1968. Worked for the oil, gas and power industries until I retired at 66. My first wife died of cancer in 2009. I was introduced to Gail by a mutual friend and we have been together six years and married for three. Gail was aware of my crossdressing before we married and supports it wholeheartedly with some rules. I have to be Paul some of the time, which is fair. I am a Libra and I own it.

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