The Shadow of Genderqueer

The Artist D, hanging in the shadows

When I first heard it I was startled. Someone on my radio show had come on to tell me how they were queer and then suddenly they said it. Not only were they queer with their sexuality but they were genderqueer. There’s something about  a negative term used for positive statements that really makes the ears perk. I backed off for awhile but as usual couldn’t help myself. I had to know more.

Genderqueer denotes or relates to a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders. In the transgender world it immediately became my quintessential term for what type of trans person I have become. I associate with both genders and have rarely ever had any interest in conforming to one or the other. Being genderqueer can possibly be even more confusing than transgender. Some people grew up in a generation where they were trans but didn’t know trans existed. I grew up in a generation where people knew trans existed, but we didn’t know genderqueer existed. Had I been told about the alternative of genderqueer I probably would have followed that path more than the transgender one.  I thought I was a woman trapped in a man’s body because I thought we had to make a choice. All I knew was that I wasn’t all man and maybe a little more woman.

Now that I have begun embracing the genderqueerness of myself I sometimes feel awkward among the transgender world. Genderqueer can easily be misunderstood as an undermining of what the transgender community has built. In the wrong hands and minds we only add more confusion to a community already struggling for acceptance. I experienced it long ago when just coming of age. People used to tell me that I had to choose a side and make a gender decision. I could never do that and I think the right decision for me was no decision at all.

A friend of mine is writing a book about her husband’s transition and recently told me how I introduced her to the world of genderqueer. She had entered the transgender community via her spouse’s transition. She too explained a brief “not wanting to know” when it came to hearing genderqueer. Then she realized what it really meant and the positive message it sends. Since then she has gone on to explain this to others. Being steeped in some very old school trans circles she has told me of the opposition she faced when bringing up the word. A lot of the trans community has no interest because it confuses the point to the media. Genderqueer is casting a shadow that a lot of people don’t want to explain.

Being accepted by today’s mainstream society is a lot like filing for a grant or a license to sell food. We are forced to file on public record in simple format exactly who we are, what we’re doing and what the final outcome will be. As more transgender news leaks into the mainstream media it is becoming harder to do that. They tried to keep it neat and tidy because that’s what the mainstream wants. You are born in the wrong body and have corrective surgery to fix your problem — the end. They want it all wrapped up with no unknowns and that is impossible.

Transgender isn’t a neat little package. We all knew that a long time ago, but now here comes this big shadowy word of Genderqueer. How can we sell that to the media? Here come a group of people who do not wish to particularly identify by any gender and some who also happen to be fluidly sexual. Oh no, a definition with no definition! The media will lose their minds.

Fortunately the genderqueer among us know all about being whoever you want to be. As usual with most things leaking into the mainstream you probably won’t hear all that much of the word for awhile. Now they focus on transgender people, rights and issues. There is but a murmur of what is still in the shadows. One thing at a time, society can’t handle much else.

Tags: featured, genderqueer, Identity, media, theartistd, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion