People You Encounter When You “Come Out”

| Nov 28, 2016
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Some common people you discover when you come out as trans.

The Vanishers — People who look at you first in disbelief, then in disappointment, then in disgust, and then vanish out of your life forever.

The Self-Righteous — People who argue with you and tell you you are “wrong” or “mistaken” and must stop “this nonsense” because it’s “sinful” and “embarrassing” and then make a show of being “offended” by who you are before they walk out of your life when you do not do what they demand.

The Mouse — The people who tell you how happy they are for you and how they support you and then quietly disappear from your life; they are really a closeted Vanishers or Self-Righteous but are uncomfortable being that direct.

The Double Agent — The people who tell you, “I support you, but . . . .” The people who claim to support you but ALWAYS have some reason why you should stop, wait, reconsider, etc. Most will walk out of your life when they realize they cannot change you, though some can be incredibly tenacious and harass you for years.

The Groupie — The people who think it’s cool to be friends with a trans person so they can tell everyone they are friends with a trans person. They may actually become real friends in time or may simply drift away once the newness wears off.

The Tolerant — The people who disagree with who you are but who tolerate you and remain a part of your life in some degree or another, from cool and distant to warm and polite but never really friends.

The Trying — The people who are truly struggling against their own internal and cultural biases to accept you because they really liked you before you came out and don’t want to quit on your relationship. They may eventually become a True Friend, join the ranks of the Tolerant, or just walk away.

The True Friend — The people who really are happy for you and who love you and support you because they are true friends.

Hoping all those in your life are true friends!

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion


About the Author ()

I am a mature transgender woman. I have been trans since I was four and possibly before that but my memory of birth through age three is a little hazy. After decades of struggling first to deny and later \\\"cure\\\" my \\\"problem\\\", at age 57 I reached a point of self acceptance in my life. Shortly thereafter I began my journey of transition. Over the years I have written a blog along with opinion, political, and history articles, some of which, to my great surprise, were actually published. I have two grown daughters, five grand-children, and a Bengal cat.

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