Overthinking?
I’ve been me—the authentic me—for nine months as I write these words. There have been so many wonderful things about living my truth at last. One of these is what I recall one writer describing as “the easy intimacy of women.” Now that the wall I had built around myself has been smashed to rubble, I can interact with other women as I’ve always longed to.
I’ve had—and still have—some close and lasting friendships with men. But even when I was forced to pretend to be one of their tribe, I found that I almost always connected with women much more easily than with men.
One of the regular delights of my new life is being complimented on my nails, hair, lashes, purse and more. I’ve been eager to offer similar kudos for years, and now I finally can.
A friend asked me if I’d been watching other women, wishing I could have my hair styled like theirs, or wear a dress similar to the one they were wearing. I smiled at her, “Only for fifty years or so,” I answered.
The older I get, the more I realize that I tend to over-analyze things. After several weeks of thoroughly enjoying all of this, I began to wonder if this was really shallow behavior on my part. After all, my hair, nails, lashes and clothes don’t make me a woman, right? On that rare lazy Saturday when I get to stay home all day, I skip the bra and the makeup, slip into an old hoodie and curl up with a good book or movie (or both), and I don’t feel any less of a woman on those days.
But then I told myself that I was overthinking, and that in fact these kind of exchanges do serve a larger purpose.
For one thing, they’re great icebreakers. It’s an easy opener to strike up a conversation with another woman. I like to think I was always courteous, but now I count many store clerks and baristas I see regularly as friends. Beyond that, I think it’s a great way for women to support and affirm each other. Too much of the world still treats women as second-class citizens. Saying “I love your hair,” is a nice thing, but it says so much more. It says—
–I notice you.
–I notice your efforts to look good.
–You’re a woman.
–You matter.
Isn’t that what life is really all about? Affirming our common humanity, whether we are cis, trans, or any other label the world puts on us, or we put on ourselves. We are all humans, sharing one planet.
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Category: Transgender Body & Soul
About the Author (Author Profile)
Claire Hall was born and grew up in a large city on the left coast and has spent most of her adult years in a beautiful small coastal community where she's now an elected official in local government after spending many years as a newspaper and radio reporter. In her space time she loves reading, writing fiction (her first novel was published by a regional press a couple of years ago), watching classic Hollywood movies, and walking.Subscribe
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