Early Days: Stepping Out En Femme

In 2003 I was living in Virginia and came to the realization I would need to start getting out on a regular basis, presenting as a female. Dressing up in private was something I had done for years, but I didn’t like the idea of hiding or closing myself off from the world. It was time to fully present in public, with the associated risks and benefits.

Kim in 2003.

Like most transgendered girls who present in public who have had little or no experience doing so, I habitually overdressed. Perhaps because I did not (could not) express myself as a girl when I was a youth, I overcompensated and constantly wore skirts or dresses, pumps, and of course pantyhose. Another part of it is probably that I worked in an office, so looking like an office lady just came naturally to me. In one sense I couldn’t blame myself for wanting to look over the top feminine when going out, because I had to keep my true self bottled up for such a long time. But on the other hand, when it comes to being blend-able or passable, wearing a crisp blouse with a tailored skirt and heels is a harder thing to pull off than if I had chosen to wear skinny jeans and white sneakers. 

When I made the decision to go out regularly in public, I had to answer the where/when/what questions. Being a morning person and preferring to keep a low profile in my neighborhood, I would go out long before sunrise to the all night Krispy Kreme donut store drive up (hot black coffee), and then head to Denny’s for breakfast if I felt hungry. After that, I would frequent the local Rite Aid drug store, which was open 24/7. The night manager, whose name was Mike, was a quiet, friendly man who took a shine to me. We would occasionally chit chat and he would complement my look, which meant a lot to me as an inexperienced t girl. He especially seemed to like the way my legs looked. Knowing I could look appealing to a man was the first step toward developing a look and presentation that would allow me to be out in public in broad daylight.

My emotions while being out and about were often intense. There was no doubt that finally being able to be a woman, out in public, was a tremendous relief and extremely pleasant. Both women and men treated me as a female, which needless to say delighted me. For the first time in my life, I could, simply put, be myself.

Over months I fine tuned my routine, getting to know the early morning staff at each of those three businesses. At that time of the morning, there wasn’t really anything else open, so I became a loyal patron. They got to know me as Kim the office lady, who nearly always wore a skirt or dress, and high heels. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, Kimberly had been born and was blossoming into a lady. The momentum of those early experiences was unstoppable, and there was no putting Kim back in the bottle. Ready or not, the world would be seeing a lot more of my very feminine self in the years to come.

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Tags: crossdressing, featured, Identity, passing, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion