How are the Non-Transsexual Transgender People Faring?
With all the attention being paid to adult transsexuals and transgender children, I think that it is time to pay some attention to non-transsexual transgender people. I define a transsexual (TS) as a transgender (TG) person that has modified their body to fit better with society’s expectations of their congruent gender and who usually goes full time in their congruent gender. The statistics tell us that there are at least 10 times more non-transsexual transgender people (non-TS TG) than transsexuals. Estimates of the population frequency of transgender people are converging on 1% and the frequency of MTF transsexual people is about .1% with the frequency of FTM much lower. So where are these non-TS TG people and how are they dealing with part-time expression and secrecy? Since secrecy is psychologically and physically stressful, what can we do to help them bear the load?
I know they (non-TS TG) are out there; I still go to meet-ups and support groups. They frequently attend social meet-ups but seem to becoming increasingly rare in support groups. I will be going to a TG meet-up tonight and have recently been going to contemporary support groups to see what is going on in the community. During the 1970s and 1980s traditional support groups were mainly self-directed by transgender people but today they are more likely to be led by mental health professionals and trained paraprofessionals. The standard traditional support group featured places to dress before the meeting, personal introductions, usually a talk on gender presentation and, later in the evening, going out in public to a nightclub or restaurant. There were strength in numbers at these public outings; so a new TG could feel safe. Today’s social meetups cut right to the chase and just meet in a restaurant where people try to make introductions over the restaurant noise. Some later go to nightclubs as the traditional groups did. But it is hard to get a handle on how non-TS TG’s are doing from these social encounters. There is no time real time for conversation.
Today’s support groups are now increasingly populated with transgender children and their parents who meet to compare notes on such things as hormone blockers and how to beat the drivers license and identification document systems. Because the identification change requirements here in Georgia are unreasonably strict, many children go out of state for name and sex marker changes if they can and/or get a passport before they are old enough to go to our DMV to get their licenses. Sometimes flashing a passport with the right name and sex marker is enough. Another primary issue is to talk about school and school bullying. The prevailing culture here in Georgia does not tolerate or accept transgender people, so students and teachers alike harass TG children. These are important issues but there is not much time left in these groups to support non-TS TGs.
I have considerable experience in being a non-TS TG—about 55 years worth.
It is a lonely and secretive existence. I crossdressed in private at first and then later crossdressed at semi-secret support groups. The fact that I had learned secrecy procedures from the military and intelligence communities, made it a little easier. (I turned my knowledge against these communities because they never discovered that I was transgender.) But secrecy is stressful and corrosive. It demands a high mental workload to keep all the lies straight. It gets in the way of friendships for the same reason. Authenticity is lost, leaving a person unable to express their talents. The mental workload creates negative physiological effects of raising blood pressure, suppressing immune response and other effects. The psychological and physiological stresses can lead to depression and even suicide.
What can we do to help non-TS TG people? First we can provide them with accurate information about being transgender. During my 55 years in the closet, one of the most stressful things to me was the lack of available information. We have lots of information floating around on the Internet about being transgender but a lot of it is inaccurate. That is why I wrote three books which, I believe, accurately convey the facts about transgender science. I can tell you all about the scientific inaccuracies so you can debunk them.
Second, we can support transgender hotlines and online groups to provide resources for TG at wits end. Volunteering and monetary support are good but even spreading the telephone numbers and Internet addresses for suicide hotlines helps. In my latest book, Being Transgender, I have a chapter on coping with transgender issues. Each issue has a section, ordered by the severity of the problem. Because preserving life is paramount, the first section deals with suicide and at the beginning of the section I provide the hotlines and online chat addresses for suicide prevention. The best is the Transgender Lifeline (877-565-8860) and the Trevor Project hotline (866-488-7386). You are supposed to be able to call 911 and be put in touch with the appropriate local suicide hotline. However, sometimes the 911 operators are influenced by culture or not knowledgeable so you may have better results with the national hotlines.
Third, we need to be sure that the healthcare system can provide all TG people with mental health counseling and medical support. Given the proposed cuts in U.S. healthcare this is problematic. Being transgender is a pre-existing condition from birth. Get involved in political action.
Fourth, no transgender person should ever be made to feel inferior by another transgender person because they are not as pretty or handsome or for any other reason. My mother in other contexts used to call this “high-hatting,” and I was brought up to believe that this was ungentlemanly and unethical. I once went to a convention workshop, led by a TS, in which she made fun of transgender people living in secret who kept Public Storage lockers which they used to store clothes and makeup. (Before my current marriage I used to do this.) I got up and walked out but I should have spoken up. If you go to conventions, become an active bystander. Intervene if you witness such high-hatting. Take time to talk to TG people that you otherwise would not. You will learn a few things and feel better about yourself.
Fifth, we need to reach out to non-TS transgender people that we have met but have not kept up with. Once a week, pick out a transgender person on your social media networks that that you have not chatted with for a while and contact them. You may not know whether they are non-TS TG or TS but it does not matter. They will know that someone cares and this will also help bind the community together.
I hope that non-TS TGs read this. I know you are out there and now hopefully my readers are more sensitive to your situation.
Lets hear from you in the comments below. How are you doing?
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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Dana Jennett Bevan holds a Ph.D. from Princeton University and a Bachelors degree from Dartmouth College both in experimental psychology. She is the author of The Transsexual Scientist which combines biology with autobiography as she came to learn about transgenderism throughout her life. Her second book The Psychobiology of Transsexualism and Transgenderism is a comprehensive analysis of TSTG research and was published in 2014 by Praeger under the pen name Thomas E. Bevan. Her third book Being Transgender was released by Praeger in November 2016. She can be reached at [email protected].Subscribe
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