Dreams

Dreams.

Dreams dreams drea-eems, dreeee-eeeems.

What are your dreams? I don’t mean the ones we get at night where we go to work naked on the day the CEO is serving chocolate chip goulash at the water cooler. I’ll get to those. I mean Dreams — the ones that you work toward, wish for, plan for, pray for.

Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy. — Sigmund Freud

When I was little, I had two dreams that I wished upon stars. I wished that God would change me into a girl … and I wished to be an astronaut and explore the stars. I was raised watching moon landings and Star Trek, and bought into the whole “final frontier” thing. Then in third grade, I had to get glasses. So I sat at my desk in my boy clothes wearing horn-rimmed boy glasses lamenting the loss of my dreams. You see, in 1974, you had to have perfect uncorrected vision to be an astronaut.

So I changed dreams. They evolved into “fireman.” But I still wanted … needed to be a girl. God never answered that particular prayer.

In 1984, I became a volunteer paramedic. And studied (eventually) to become a Teacher … And a writer.

But remained a guy.

In 1989, I left the paramedic field after a particularly disturbing call. But I’d fulfilled that dream.

I now write for this column and my blog. I have professional writing and editing credits. I still haven’t published a book, but that dream will come true.

And I tired of waiting for God to miracle me a vagina, so I’m doing that myself. Well, you know what I mean.

But I still have dreams. Some dreams never died — like I still want to see space. Others are newer. I dream of seeing my daughter graduate college.

Everyone has dreams, especially Transgender people. Some of us dream of being Complete Women. Some dream of acceptance. Some dream of the perfect pair of heels.

All of which are so very personal to the Dreamer.

The problem with dreams is that so many are unattainable. For example, I’ll never give birth to a child. But many many dreams ARE attainable; they just require work and Faith. Like my dreams of a college degree, and a masters degree.

“I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real”  — Mark Knopfler

My dear friend Lisa just went full time. Mere months ago, she’d given up on that dream. Now her dream is real. She’s living it.

Dreams can come true — IF we let them.

That’s the key — we have to LET them. Sometimes getting what one wants is a frightening thing. If one attains a dream, what’s left to motivate — to drive?

Simple: dream a new dream.

Some doctors say that our dreams while we sleep are caused by our subconscious speaking to us. Freud especially said they were all about sex. Makes one wonder about his personal life. I even had someone tell me that dreams are God’s way of communicating with people directly, but she does so through metaphor.

So what is God telling me when I dream of water balloon fights with Scarlett Johannson?

I am against nature. I don’t dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can’t touch with decay. — Bob Dylan

I read somewhere that the brain NEEDS to dream at night to maintain function; that dreams are the time our brain goes offline to recalibrate. Does that mean dreams are a mental test pattern?

I maintain that our WAKING dreams are just as important if not more important than those we have when we sleep. After all, if a person has no Dreams, they have no Hope.

“Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse?”  — Bruce Springsteen

Example: If a person gives up on her dream of transition and continues with her male life, suffering … what may happen? Wonder why Transpeople have a 41% suicide attempt rate? It’s because they don’t believe their dreams will ever come true. Or worse.

Years ago, there was a comic book series called The Sandman written by Neil Gaiman. Its story centered on an Endless being called Morpheus, also known as the Dream King. Over twenty years ago, Gaiman was doing a signing of books nearby.

He signed mine “Dream a Little” then his autograph.

So I Dream as often as I can. I dream of a day when I will be a whole woman, body and soul. I dream of a time when being transgender isn’t something that people hate. I dream of a day when ALL of my friends have happiness, justice, and peace.

And I work slowly toward these dreams.

Dreams aren’t a free ride. They are goals. They are values. They are what we strive to be. Without Dreams, we are truly lost.

There was a man whose music and wisdom I didn’t appreciate during his life time (though many did.) He had dreams which died in a hail of gunfire on a Las Vegas street. To him, I give the last word.

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real. — Tupac Shakur

Tags: featured, Identity, opinion, Transgender, Transition, Transsexual, transsexualism

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion