Why don’t you just buy a Corvette?
Why don’t you just buy a Corvette?
That’s a question asked of me when I came out to an old friend. She continued saying, “If you are having a mid-life crisis, why get a sex change when a red sports car would do just about the same thing?” I tried to explain there is a monumental distinction between a case of the mid-life crazies and lifelong gender dysphoria. I was reminded of this conversation during one of my weekly electrolysis treatments. I was attempting to redirect my thoughts from the discomfort of my treatment. (It didn’t work.) With each zap, I couldn’t help but think that this isn’t a mid-life crisis. This is real. It took my friend two years following my progress for her to realize this isn’t a fad or a curiosity or a mid-life crisis, it’s who I truly am.
Not again!
It isn’t the first time I’ve heard of people being accused that our gender dysphoria is just a phase or we’re trying to get attention or maybe all of us are just depressed. As I speak with many of our trans* sisters who waited, as I, until later in life to come out and begin transitioning, it’s common for people to think just because they didn’t know and didn’t have the faintest idea about our gender identity struggles, it must not be real. We know and we must continue to tell them, “I am a trans* person. This is real and it won’t and can’t go away.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
It’s happened to me and I know many of us have been accused of hiding our true selves and lying to our families, friends, acquaintances and associates. We’re asked, “If this is who you are, why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why did you wait umpteen years? Why did you lie to me?” For many of us the answer is very simple: FEAR. Fear we will be rejected. Fear we will be thrown out of our homes, lose our families, lose our jobs and have everything we’ve worked for destroyed. I had it told to me by an advocate who works tirelessly for our community in my home town of Gainesville, Florida, “You must be willing to lose everything you have and ever will have to gain your freedom.” That’s an extremely scary prospect.
You get it!
If you are trans* and have come out, you know what I’m talking about. If you have not come out, then this may give you a small look at what may await you. If you are a family member, significant other, colleague, friend or ally, then you have a glimpse of one of the many challenges we must overcome.
Thank You!
If you are someone who thinks we should just go out, get the sports car, travel to Europe and eat ice cream on the Left Bank or “just get over it” and are reading this, THANK YOU! Thank you for taking the time to try and understand. By taking time to learn about what we are going through and how we must overcome obstacles daily, you too, now understand us a little better. If you are a trans* person who has decided you can’t come out, then know you have a place where you can talk and connect, vent, rant and rave and know that you’re among brothers and sisters.
Just for the record
Let me say for the record, I don’t want a red Corvette. I’m not a car gal. However, I have been on the look out for a 35′ Dickerson Ketch that’s in the water and ready to sail the Pacific. I’m just saying.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon. I own the MatureTransgender.com website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
