How Do You Know if You Are Trans?

[AmyJacks]

Dear River,

It is up to you to define yourself. A professional counselor can help, but in the
end, YOU tell us how you feel you are. If straight-up GAY describes you, then claim it.
If you feel you are non-binary, claim that, and be happy.

I will point out that some trans people get a bit defensive about what exactly it means
to be trans. You have to be in some way transitioning from one gender expression to another. Seems kinda exclusionary, but we now have 53 or 56 genders, and they all fit
under LGBTQ+, so whatever.

In my own case, I feel I am transgender, because although I can not make the transition because of health reasons, I feel like my mind is that of a woman, I dress as a woman, and I play the role of the woman during sex. I would transition, if I could do so.

I hope, at the end, you find happiness. That is what is important.

Amy

[carla1212]

Hi,
Lydia your predicament is familiar to many. You are not alone. One thing I found is that helps to think of it this way: One’s not trying to become a woman, one is trying to become trans. After all, if we acknowledge that gender is all in our heads, we’re also admitting that the body may have other ideas. I have found that a lot of my guilt and confusion evaporated the day I realized this: I can pass as a woman, but I’m not one and never will be. When I was a teen and started dating men, using my feminine looks to attract them, I quickly discovered how much chaos I caused in their lives, how ugly and painful the ‘reveal’ always was, and how awful I myself could be, trying to manipulate men who cared for me into looking past the truth between my thighs. The saving grace is that some men really can love us for what we really are, not as some kind of second-class ‘female substitute’ but as transwomen. I think as transwomen we have to commit to total honesty from the beginning, or the people around us get hurt. No pretending to be male for some girlfriend, because that’s protecting ourselves, not her. And no pretending to be female for a straight boyfriend, because sooner or later the panties come off. So why not come clean with the gf, let her decide if she’s into what you really are, and if not… be confident that you’ll meet someone who is?

[TallErin]

Just came across this site and read all of your similar stories. I feel the same way. I feel absolutely beautiful all dressed up. I’m a very manly looking man, so kinda hard when inside I’m a sweet perky girl. Thank you all for sharing. XOXO.

[Dev]

Hello,

I’m not really sure if I belong here, but I guess that’s why I’m here… I’m just confused and looking for answers really.

I was born male, but have always admired females. I can’t say that I have always dreamed of being a woman. More so, I have been attracted to the beauty and softness of femininity. I don’t feel beautiful in a male body. The female form, with its smooth curves, makes me envious. It makes me want that aesthetic.

I dislike men in general, and am not attracted to them. I’m also happily married to a woman who is my world. I have had an interest in crossdressing from a young age, but have never really experimented with it. It was very frowned upon in my home environment. I have also discouraged the thoughts by telling myself that I would never look as good as a “real” woman does. Now, in my 30’s, I find myself wondering if I have been trying to avoid who I really am. I feel like I need to experiment, but I don’t know how to go about that. I don’t want to do anything in secret from my wife, but I also fear for how she might react. I feel like if I tried to dress up as a woman, I would either feel right or wrong about it, and then I would be able to put the matter to rest. Gosh… I just don’t know what to do.

Thanks for reading.

[LeniA]

Age of 10,always wanted to wear girl’s clothing and be one of the girls at times.I knew I was happy as male as well and never got out yet at the time.Then mom suspected something was not right with me,this was when I was 12 years old.I didn’t want to open up yet at the time to her about it.It got bad that she tried to get me to open up on her own.It was forcing me and finally seen a therapist.Told me what my mom did was wrong and mom listened,apologized to me about it.Finally I finally opened up about myself.Finally said I am happy as male and there is another side of me that wants out at times,a female side named Leni.Mom figured out I am a crossdresser and did listen.I am glad she listened and let me be me.Married to a great wife in my life that is supportive

[NaughtyPru]

That is a very common post orgasm experience. It is also similar to “purging” all of your feminine clothes from time to time. The main cause is guilt. Once you accept that you were born this way (like being born lefthanded or gay), you can start to realise that it is not your fault. You can then relax and enjoy yourself as you want to be. I am going to get boob implants and a tummy tuck soon.

[Jen]

I’m 35 years old, recently came out pansexual, and finally came to the realization that I am also transgender. I have no idea what to do though. I’ve been living as a heterosexual man for decades. I am lost. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Crowned_queer]

Hi, im 18 and my Name is Ahren. It is now, as I pass as a non-binary he/they pronouned individual and will be when I transition and proclaim myself with she/her pronouns if I ultimately decide to. So here’s the deal. When I was in elementary school I used to run around and tell everyone that I was born a girl and my female cousin and I would talk about how we had the same parts but that mines just grew out. At just this age I used to only watch my aunts and mom for how to behave. Never men. I copied everything they did, from the way they sat, to the way they ate food, to the way they painted their nails. And I used to have “runways” in my room where I would wait until the middle of the night to get completely naked and tuck my privates between my legs and strut to the door from the bed. Around 7 I started to grow leg hair and shaved it with my moms razors and shave cream. I never felt right being told to “man up” or that I was a boy or a guy. It just didn’t fit right in my head. Fast foward to high school. At 15 I had these identity crises where I would look in the mirror and get really upset and start crying because what I looked like in the mirror wasn’t me. I just remember KNOWING that my reflection was not me. When I was 17 I started doing “drag” and dressing up in my moms clothes while she was at one of my 6 brother’s football games or church. I would make entertaining videos as “her” to post on Instagram but in private I used to tuck my privates properly and wear my moms underwear and bras slightly padded and look at myself in the mirror and sit around the house as so. I moved out of my parents house and into my best friends house who gives me her clothes that she doesn’t wear and I dress like a woman for guys to have sex but only then and in my room in private. I never even thought about the possibility that I was a transgender woman until a friend introduced me to one of his transgender female friends a couple months ago and I just kind of loaded the thought into a deep pocket in my brain but now its intrusive and I think about it everyday. I look in the mirror and am absolutely disgusted with my body, its not soft or curvy enough and I dont have breasts and I dont want my penis and its all just ring and it makes me so confused and angry and sad at the same time. Everyday I struggle with this and my face is so masculine and I know the only way to fix it to be more feminine is with facial feminization surgery. I want to start hormones but dont have the money or the means to get to a counselor to prescribe it. So im just stuck and frustrated everyday. But the thought of coming out to my parents and them not accepting the idea that their oldest son is actually a woman makes me sick and feels impossible at the same time. I have a boyfriend and I told him that I think im a transgender woman and he said he would still stay with me so thats at least working for me. If anyone has any suggestions about what to do when I do get a job and get money and could possibly get on hormones id very much appreciate it. Do yall think I am a transgender woman? Does it sound like I am a transgender woman just un-transitioned yet? Am I just scared so my brain is making me doubt? I have no idea at this point anymore.

[Angelina.Kovacs]

Hi,

I am before a really important life changing decision and I am really interested in your opinion.

I am a 32 yo guy. But I want to become to a woman. The previous fantasies and porn are not enough for me.

I want to write you my story and I hope that it is not bother you.
I never talked about my thoughts with anyone. I cannot suppress my feelings anymore.

It started at age 10. I started to wear my mum’s clothes and use her cosmetics.
My mother and my sister raised me. I did not have a male example for me. Only women. Moreover for them the feminity always played a really important role. My mum has a beauty salon and my sister is also works there. I spent a lot of time in my childhood in her salon. I think it has also a huge effect on me.

In the last 1 year I moved to abroad (I work online). I am alone a new country. So my feminime feelings only became more dominant. Particulary from the summer.

In the every day life, outside the house I am a man. But I have a lot of changes.
I started to grown my hair, now is almost 20 cm (earlier it was 3 cm). I lost 10 kg. From 81 to 71 kg. I am 175 cm. I started to do aerobic exercises 3 times a week.

I bought a full make up set and a lot of cosmetics. I use everyday cosmetics. Of course only women’s products. I have a full L’Oréal skincare routine in the morning and in the evening. When I am at home I apply make up. I spent a lot of money for a quality make up and my online shopping cart is again full with new cosmetics. And for the first time I added female clothes.

Which is also really new for me, that earlier when I got doll up it gave me sexual excitement (earlier I thought that maybe I am a transvestite).
But now I use a lot of cosmetics everyday and spend about an hour to make my full make up and I feel no sexual arousal already. Now it feels like a normal daily duty.
I also started to watch a lot of make up videos. I love make up. It became my new passion. I think I should learn much more in this field and to start a career in this field (is it a coincidence?).

I feel that I have two personalities. One which wants to live as a man. And another which would like to become a woman. And the feminime is getting dominant.

About my sexuality. I am virgin. I had few girlfriends but I was afraid to have sex with them. When they wanted to sex with me, my penis did not get hard. We tried few times and then we broke. I felt nothing. They were more like a friends for me. I cannot image myself an active role.
My masturbation is also dramatically changed. Earlier I was seldom jerking. And after cum I felt ashamed and my “transsexual” feelings went away immadietely. In the summer I bought a dildo. Now I have 3 of them. I learned to get prostate orgasm with the biggest one (24 cm). I really enjoy it and I feel no shame after cum. Moreover, I have another “weird” masturbation. I started to suck my penis (I can lick the head till orgasm and I get used to my cum and I have absolutely no shame or disgusting feelings now, so I swallow.) And I am not jerking anymore and that is why I feel more feminine. And to be honest I crave for such a dildo-sucking orgasm 2-3 times a week. (Moreover I drink a lot of pineapple juice to have more tasty cum..) I do not know what is happening with me.

I think that in a new country I can be anyone, nobody sees me and that is why my feminine side is getting stronger and stronger.
Moreover I tried to express these feelings for a long time, maybe that is why it is getting to explode now.

What do you think about my story?
Am I really a transsexual? Or it is just a serious fetish which went to far? Please ask me any questions which helps me to understand myself better.

I have a feeling, that everything goes in this way, few years and I will be not only a woman, but I will be somebody’s wife.
On the hand, it is really frightening, and on the other hand, it is really exciting.

Best,
Angelina

[Translost]

Are these transsexual “symptoms”?

I really feel an acute need to ask this. Has anyone of you, or others you may know, experienced something similar to what I want to tell below?
This is what I have been experiencing: To start with, I have no clear memories of my childhood that points to me wanting to be a girl,
but I have some vague memories from early school time about 8 years old or so. I started School in 1981.
I remember I had a female play mate who got ashamed when I started to cry, which also ended the games we played.
Afterwards I remember how I hated crying. When someone cried I was really feeling bad. In school one day, when I was rocking in the swings, I had taken my
shoes off. Then I was bullied by a boy by him stealing my socks. After that, I got a maniac idea of becoming like him. But I hated myself.
Soon, a year later, twin girls moved into the school and I soon wanted to become a “third sister” of them, I looked a lot like them already because
we were of the same “constituion” and they did not dress in girl clothes, which made it easy.
I would probably not find any issues about wearing girl clothes if it had not been such a taboo.
My adoptive father hated anything that even remotely looked girlish or me giggling or crying. He even complained how I gripped the textiles in the laundry room,
like carefully instead of grabbing them. I also hated my given name a lot, even though it was similar to that daring bullying guy who I idolized
(who also played the Keyboard which I afterwards wanted to play as well but it did not work! It was not only because of him
it was because I loved that instrument for other reasons)
But it continued with the girls, I wanted to become like them, especially the tougher of them.
Others thought I just had a crush… I thought it was something wrong with me…

Then I got into puberty. I had several fetishes since young ages and I remember how I was curious about my sexual organ. I did not hate it,
at least not when I had those sexual fantasies, however I thought often it was an issue to keep in order inside sleeping wear, if it slid out
beside shorts or so I would not like it at all. Even before puberty. It was uncomfortable and I never slept without sleeping clothes, and I rarely touched
my sexual organ once I was going through puberty. I used clothes or lots of paper- or cloth-towels when I felt sexual needs and was alone.
My adoptive parents did never have any issues about my sexual maturing, they never said it was “dirty”. In fact they told me it was normal…
I have never felt any “auto-gynephilia” either, but only attracted my more gender-neutral body parts. I am gay also so I have found some
more male muscles attractive, at later years even on my own body, which is a paradox really. That was one of the reasons I typed this…
But when I had sexual dreams I really started to disgust my sexual organ, while my class mates could talk about such dreams like they would be in heaven.

Also there were people on TV, a woman who saved a detective in a WWII thriller.
She was also one of those I wanted to become.
But those wishes faded away, and I started to want to become a girl, a female version of me, and that badly.
There was a TV a series about a girl who grew up to a woman. How much I wanted to be like her! (“Sparrow’s Eye” in Sweden)
I wished UFO people would change me, I wished I could be reborn as a girl, and so on.
My adoptive mother got just worried and angry like “you just stop! how would that be like?” And so on, surely I felt VERY bad, I had a school counsellor
but I never dared talking about it in other means than metaphors she never understood. I started to find threats everywhere, even where there were none
and build up a strong anxiety that up to today has haunted me. I hated the gym class because that was horrible!
I got my only F in the gym class, I hated the shower, I also got strange bumps under my nipples which I did not know what it was so I got scared someone would
think it was a disease. Up until college I wanted to be a girl, my class mates even suggested I would be the “queen of Christmas” even though there was a
boy with long blonde hair who would fit better. I was surprised but this faded away because all hate against female clothing I had to endure it was just not
possible I probably started to suppress it. School went bad too because of this and the teacher being an arrogant layman.
Later on, those sexual dreams made me insane, I started to believe in devils and such like and got hospitalized. It was then in the beginning of 1990s.
During the years of 1991 to 1997 I did not even want to look at my sexual organ.
I got an insurrance so I could survive, but I still went on with religious ways of suppression. That was until I met a black “priestess” of sorts
who gave me some kind of blessing, when I only got more of those sexual desires I stopped visiting her, but I sooner grew and learned to accept and even
embrace the sexuality. I had no desires of being a woman though, but I had a male identity that felt “taken”. But I thought of it as “me” and then came out
as gay. I had grown my hair long though. Love it that way! I met a boyfriend and had a relationship, but after a long time, when I was 40, the urges to
want to be a woman came back. I really thought it was just some strange ideas and suppressed it, because I felt so much fear and the guy I was in a
relationhip with did not support it at all. He was just angry at me when I brought it up. Also, when I talked about wearing female clothing on Facebook,
I got trolled. I suppressed it again, I had bought clothes but I bagged them in a storage room and cut my hair short.
I got ultra sensitive for sounds, got anxious, no one wanted to believe me about that. I started to become paranoid, only now I understand that there is this
wish of being a woman that may cause it. But the dangers of being seen by others is too frightening. Fear of aging like a man also makes me pushing this away.
I am 47 now. And it has come back again several times. The sound sensitivity has made one of my ears physically bad.

I don’t know if all this is transgender symptoms, gender dysphoria, or just some kind of defensive reactions.
It is why I ask if anyone has had similar experiences before I visit a doctor because if they say I do not need any gender treatment, I would probably
be extremely disappointed, and that could be dangerous, therefore I am pretty scared.
The GD was only there after puberty but I think I had a form of GD about my identity, as in not wanting to be a boy.
There were anxiety, make idols as well, but had very few friends.
(but an urge to be a woman or a girl like a female version of me that currently seems to be growing),
I can get sexually aroused by my male chest sometimes, which is a paradox indeed, but the day after, I feel terrible about my desires to my own pecs though.
I would be endlessly thankful if anybody could tell me how they think

[Randomdad]

Hi, everyone. I’m a straight married male with 2 kids. I’m also a cigar smoking, whiskey drinking “mans man”

For the first 35 years of my life, I was a firm believer that trans people and gay people was not a product of nature and was pretty much their own fault or their parents fault. I assumed maybe a very small percentage of them were naturally this way and the rest were just a head case. I think a lot of people have this same notion.

But then I had kids. I have a 4 year old and a newborn. My entire life revolves around kids now whether its my kids or other children. Kids are transparent, they don’t understand what society expects of them so they are who they are without a care in the world. I came to the startling realization that so much of us has to do with how we are born and little to do how we were raised. These kids cannot be taught to be girly or masculine, or what they like and don’t like. There are numerous households with 3 or 4 children and often one of them doesn’t want to dress or act like they are “supposed to.” Great families with 100% chance they were born that way. It is so incredibly obvious.

I came to the realization, there must be so many gay and trans people out there just hiding and would never admit it. The percentage of kids that are clearly not interested in being they way they are “supposed” to be is way higher than there are adults that are openly gay and trans. I seriously feel so bad for those people just trapped. If I had to put a guess on what percentage of the population was born trans or gay, I’d put it at a solid 10%. That’s a staggering number of people. And only 1 out of 10 actually come out and be who they want to be.

I registered here to tell any of them who might be casually browsing there is nothing wrong with them at all. You’re not insane. You were born that way. Grow a pair of balls, (or cut off a pair of balls lol) and be who you want to be, you’re not going to change.

If you are really frightened, move to a major city. In big cities you have anonymity and it has to be so much easier.

Good luck!

[Yaya270]

I have desir to become TS but iam fraid ?

[carla1212]

Hi Lydia,
It’s been a long time since you posted on this — I’m just wondering how your situation has played out since then?
@;^)
Carla

[Anonymous]

I have been crossdressing since the age of 4 and am now 55. I have been married for 27 years to a wonderful, supportive woman that is 100% ok with Jackie. My crossdressing started as a young child and progressed as a sexual thing into puberty where it remained until my early 50’s. Through various life changes I decided to go to counseling and group therapy to try to better understand my gender issues. Through this process I came out and started presenting myself as Jackie to the world. I can truly say I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I am Jackie and I am living as my authentic self. I struggle with the labels. Am I trans? genderfluid? nonbinary? Who knows? When I look in the mirror I see a middle age man…when I am Jackie I feel beautiful and normal and feminine. I live mostly full time and am getting electrolysis on my beard. I do not envision getting any major surgeries but it’s not off the table. I don’t hate my genitals but don’t love them either. I would, however, love to have some real breasts either through implants or hormones. As of now I like to be “funtional” so not trying hormone therapy for now but it could happen in the future. Am I trans? Probably, but I just hate the labels and expectations associated with the labels. There are so many shades of gray. For now I am just me.

Love Jackie

[Annalisa]

How do I add make friends to my profile?

[Author]

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