How Do You Know if You Are Trans?

[carlaroberts]

Although I identify to others, as trans, I’m not sure I know, after 60 years. I have crossdressed, or wanted to since before I started elementary school. I have a picture from that time playing “Secretary” which I treasure, and I think it confirms that my feeling aren’t going to change. I was on since hormone therapy but stopped, as I didn’t feel I was going any farther than presenting. Regardless of how I present, I internally I lean toward the feminine, and always have. As a young boy, 6 or 7 maybe, I remember asking my baby sitter and her sister, whom I adored, if it was okay if I wanted to be a girl. At that time, crossdressing and trans, we’re not common words, and their answer was “We can dress you up, so you can be a girl”. It was truly the beginning of a lifelong fascination and love of all things feminine, even though I learned much of what I loved was off-limits. For them, it was just play and fun, giving them the little sister they did not have. For me it was validation ,acceptance and permission to be what I wanted for just a little while. Having stayed with them for extended periods of time, it became a routine and I loved it, only to be shocked to find not everyone thought it was cute.
By the time I was 13 or 14, I was well aware that my feelings and desire for the feminine, was not generally accepted, and other than Halloween or some sort of a gag or joke, it was necessary to hide my feelings. These did not go away or subside in adolescence, or young adulthood, and I tried everything from being an auto mechanic to military service to distract myself from these feelings.
To say the least, it did not work, resulting in my having difficulty having friends, being a loner and often depressed.
After many years of acting in a male role, I had almost come to accept my fate, especially after having kids. I had an image to maintain, of course, and I tried hard. But, my nagging feelings of not being what I felt inside just never went away. I had no idea others were experiencing the same things.
I had expressed my feelings to my wife long before we were married, and there brief periods of time when we would play dressup. I loved it but after having to return to a male personna was always difficult and depressing so it was not often.
Fast forward to the 90s, kids were out of the house and I began wanting to return to my old feelings and expressed them to my wife, but this time I told her these were very important to me and some game I wanted to play for entertainment. It took her some time to accept it, but she did, at least to some degree. After moving to a larger city, I discovered I was not the only one and began to interact with a range of different people, some crossdressers, some trans, as well as others, I could not define.
For myself and my wife and others, it was more acceptable to identify as trans, because many saw crossdressing as a fetish, so that’s where I am. Somewhere on the spectrum. To some who know I identify as trans, they can’t see past the clothing and makeup, because I am not 100% feminine.
Still I say I am trans, but I am not always sure.

[Debz]

I think I so need to talk to another transgirl here………….I’m so sorry for being so blunt but I’m all alone in my area with no one who understands. Anyone??????

[Annalisa]

For me it is the feeling of being at peace when I am dressed in women’s clothes. It feels natural. It was not a sexual thing when I crossdresser and it still isn’t. I have never been comfortable with my male appearence. I can remember early growing up that I would tuck my male part back between my legs and I always loved the way I looked when it did not show.Am not sure about everyone else but that’s when I realized that something was not right. The older I got the more I hated that part of me and wished it would go away.
Have never really enjoyed male activities but always enjoyed being with my mom and sister and wishing I was like them. Always was more comfortable with female friends and their company much more that being with the guys but at that time you had to fit the social norm.I live in a small southern town and comming out then or even now is definitely a sure way to find yourself on the receiving end of hate and possible physical abuse.
Now at 64 and looking back I only wish there had been a place for me to go to fit in and be myself. At this time in my life I have realized that I have to be myself and I enjoy letting my female side show itself. As I am writing this it is 10;45vat night and I am sitting on my back porch dressed in a beautiful purple long nightgown with lace and enjoying my life. For all of you younger ladies out there do not rob yourself of being who you truly are inside and embrace it.

[Anonymous]

For me it is the feeling of being at peace when I am dressed in women’s clothes. It feels natural.

For me, too. Seeing myself as female and living as a woman brings me peace and joy I never knew before. I will never go back to living the way I used to.

[goon24]

I’m a goni, I’m 30 years old, I’m a boy. But when I turned 28 I decided to have sex but I did not succeed because I did not have an erection and I had 1 inch and I took testosterone but I still did not have interest and erection when I masturbate my penis is 3.5 inch or (9cm) I also have a back female am i a boy or transgender can you help me please forgive me if i am wrong in writing but i do not know how to speak english well go well.

[goon24]

I’m Goni I do not know if I’m a male or transgender. The story begins like this I am now 30 years old when I was 20 years old I had some girlfriends but I was afraid to have sex with them so as not to hurt. But when I was 27 years old I decided to have sex with my girlfriend, I did not have an erection, after 6 months she broke up with me, I wanted to have sex with others, but still I did not have an erection after 10 minutes, I lost interest, I have been using testosterone since 3 years but still I can not have sex my penis is normal 1 inch when I masturbate it is 3.5 inch or (9cm) I also have buttocks like women lately I started to be jealous of women when I see them with beautiful buttocks am I a transgender do you have an answer?

[Michael-h]

Hello, everyone. Actually, it is sometimes very difficult to understand whether you are a trans or not due to social pressure. Sometimes, living in intolerant and discriminating environment suppress our real identities and their go into a latent form. At the same time, it is possible to know when you really need to make the transition. Here is a good article that might be helpful – Six Reasons Why Men Become Transsexual

[goon24]

I’m Goni I do not know if I’m a male or transgender. The story begins like this I am now 30 years old when I was 20 years old I had some girlfriends but I was afraid to have sex with them so as not to hurt. But when I was 27 years old I decided to have sex with my girlfriend, I did not have an erection, after 6 months she broke up with me, I wanted to have sex with others, but still I did not have an erection after 10 minutes, I lost interest, I have been using testosterone since 3 years but still I can not have sex my penis is normal 1 inch when I masturbate it is 3.5 inch or (9cm) I also have buttocks like women lately I started to be jealous of women when I see them with beautiful buttocks am I a transgender do you have an answer?

[helenacd]

I don’t like the article you mention. First of all I think the te term “shemale” is not corrects and is disrespectful to trans women. The conexion with prostitution and economic reasons like “being woman you can make more money… It’s rubish

[MinnieMouse]

I’ve always suspected I was different from the other boys. As early as I can remember all the close friends I ever had were girls. While the boys were playing marbles, tag, and sports, or rough housing around. I was in a different area of the school yard, not playing by myself mind you, I was playing with the girls, skipping, hop scotch, teeter tottering, ,girl games. I really preferred it, to getting dirty with the boys.

I actually got invited by my best girl friend, to a girls sleep over, at my her house when I was 10. I hung out with the 4 girls at the slumber party, and the parents let me sleep in the bedroom with the girls. They girls were all curious about kissing and they wanted to practice with me and each other. Those were some of the happiest times of my life. I think back now that the parents of the girls at the party and my own parents may have suspected, I might be gay or something.

I don’t think I’m gay as I experimented once with a neighbourhood kid, at around 15, and it didn’t do a thing for me at all. I think I’m a, MTF, trans, lesbian. If that’s possible.

But nobody ever said a word. I dated a few of those girls after high school, but the intercourse was awkward. Foreplay was fantastic!! But in someways the penetration part of the evening was never the exciting climax I heard the other guys talk about!

Back to my teen years, when I was twelve, now don’t judge me here. I use to sneak out the basement window and prowl around our neighborhood in the dark in search of 1 piece bathing suits I could borrow them for either a walk in the park, or a dip in the pool. It absolutely excited me the smooth feeling of a spandex bathing suit, up against my body, similar to the ones I have boughten for myself recently. Which in fact I am wearing one of them as i write this blog. As soon as she is in bed out comes which ever suit I fancy. This one is a sexy black and red with a lattice top, there is 4 booster pads in each breast pocket. I bought my wife 4, 1 piece sexy bathing suits around 6 months ago, all on sale buy one get one! My wife knew we were going on this trip. She asked me to buy her a new suit, because the 2 she had I had stretched. So I found a website with a special on swimwear and started shopping. I found some buy one get one free sales, it was really exciting shopping for those suits!!

She goes to bed 4 hours before me. It’s the only 4 hours of the day that I feel relaxed, normal, and free of anxiety.

I’m about 14, now living on a 100 acre farm, still hanging out with the same 4 girls, I was the only boy invited to the my best friends house party they were having because her parents were out of town, and she was told she could have 4 friends over for a slumber party. Well needless to say I went along with the makeover party, and it turned into a dress up party. Because my best friends sister was about my size, the girls after giving me a makeover, insisted that I give them a fashion show with all her different clothes for them………. “all” of her clothes. When I put on the different outfits, from a cheer leading outfit, that felt so,so…sexy, to a formal dress, to all her bras and skimpy panties, and 15 count em, 15, 1 piece spandex skin tight bathing suits. I felt absolutely wonderful. I’m not sure what a 16 year old girl was doing with a silk teddy. but when I slipped into that garment, I was just over the top, with joy. I’m sure the girls saw the permasmile on my face and thought what’s up with that!

After high school the joyous days of hanging with the girls and exploring our sexuality, was over they all went off to college, and I took what I figured was my traditional place in the workforce working labor intensive jobs, mechanic, farm labor and maintenance, and trucking!

I remember an incident when I was 19. They were having a a 25 wedding anniversary for my parents. I made an excuse that I needed to go to the house to get something. There were 5 adult females staying at the farm. I took my time and found all my cousins swimsuits, they had brought 2 each. I put each one on and went for a midnight dip. It was absolutely fantastic, the idea of getting caught made it that much more erotic. I was gone for 3 hours and was emotionally drained when I returned to the party! I don’t think anybody realized how long I was gone.

I wish my best friend and I still remain close today. But we lost touch a few years after I married??I would love to get a woman’s prospective. I would ask her straight up, “do you think I’m a transgender?” If she was to say yes, I would ask her “How long have you known”. I myself think I have always known.

I was fortunate enough when I was 19, she asked me to drop off a green garbage bag of old clothing to the Salvation Army. I stopped on the way to Sally Ann, and opened the bag and “jackpot” a dozen 1 piece swimsuits, one with the tag still on it. Panties and bras and her cheerleading outfit, oh her cheerleading outfit?! What a score! I took them to the farm and wore them into the house a piece or 2 at a time and hid them out of site in my bedroom, took 2 weeks, but so worth it. For 6 years I wore the panties bras and swimsuits under my clothes everywhere, out to family outings work, working around the farm, I even wore a swimsuit under my tux to a buddy’s wedding. I don’t think anybody knew? The swimsuits especially felt so comfortable against my skin, natural like I was meant to be wearing them!

When I married at 24, I felt the clothes had to go. I’m married to a great girl, don’t screw it up! Luckily for me my wife was a clothing connoisseur, massive amounts of underclothes, swimsuits, slips, camisoles, dresses of all different material, and of course her wedding dress, omg how I love that wedding dress, but it’s too small for me now, maybe after my transition.

I also had the bonus of her working swing shift, and I was on straight days. I always, as soon as I got home if she was on afternoons, or as soon as she left for work when on midnights. I was into her drawers and closet playing dress up. If she was on midnights I wore her intimates to bed! They really made me feel sexy. Almost got caught early in the first 6 months, I heard the car door shut and realized I’d slept in. I quickly bounded out of bed and threw my work clothes on over her swimsuit. I wore it to work that day, the boss said to me, “there is something different today, you have a bounce in your step.” I just told him I got lucky last night, pretty sure he bought it. This went on for over 20 years, usually just wearing panties or panties and a sport bra. I had a skip in my step on swimsuit days. Hehe!

We recently went on a second honeymoon, I got us a jacuzzi room for 3 nights. On the first night I slipped into the suit I have on tonight and slipped in below the bubble bath before she came out of the bathroom. She got in the tub and once she realized what I was wearing there was some, I would call it nervous laughter.

She walked in on me a month or so ago. I was sitting on the internet in my black and blue swimsuit. Remarkably she laughed but didn’t say anything or tell me to change. I spent the night sitting around in that swimsuit. Guess I’m out of the closet with her as a cross dresser.

I am so looking forward to the anxiety and depression I feel when I’m not in a swimsuit to be done. I’m ready right now to start my transition. I’ve been looking on the net for supplements to begin. But think I might talk to my dr about a referral. It’s taken me a long time to type this last paragraph, my whole body is quivering uncontrollably when I think about starting my journey!

4 questions if I might.

(1) has anybody else had similar experiences growing up? Do you mind sharing?

(2) What would be the best and gentle’s way to broach the subject with my wife? I’d like to think that she could handle this. I don’t want to loose her, I feel she may be a lesbian, and I am deeply in love with her!

(3) Best way to broach the subject with my 2 daughters, and do I tell them anything or hide it as long as I can. Do I tell them together, do I tell them separately?

(4) what does everybody think? Am I transgender, or am I confused?

I have taken several online tests and they all say gender dysphoria

[MinnieMouse]

Update: I went out and bought myself some sports bras and pretty panties. I have begin to wear them full time in front of my spouse, around the house. She slid her hand inside my short as I was putting things in the truck at the store. She was smiling and giddy! She said that feels really nice. I think if I keep up the cross dressing eventually she will warm up to the idea of loving me, caring for me, and making sweet, sweet love to me as a woman. I also began taking fennel seed, and funugrec, I’ll be reporting on here, if it works to begin enlargement before I begin HRT. I have a smaller than average penis, so i think I may have a great chance in getting a b, possibly a c cup. No chance at getting anything smaller! I am an cup now with no treatment or supplement. My mother was a DD, and so are both my daughters.

[Anonymous]

Hi I just have joined this forum and do have queries to get help on.
I feel I am woman inside as the aspire to become that I started in hrt and due to sudden fear I left that in mid. But always there is recurring feeling comes into me and force me to start hrt again and I have no option but to do that. Yes all the time I don’t know how but feel good in woman attire. I went for a psychologist but after know my current family challenges seems settled but again after some day same feeling that I can’t ignore.
Please guide am I trans or just phase of life. I am 45 yrs now.

[nqtrans]

Hi. Thanks mostly to sessions with a psychologist, I’ve recently accepted my true self – my mind/soul is female. There have been so many signs that I had never connected together.

From about 13 years of age, I have never liked my male body, had no interest in looking after my body or looking good. Puberty onset was late for me, I shaved in attempt to get some body hair and look like other boys. I soon realised that I didn’t like my new, hairy body and started shaving my way towards having little/no visible body hair.

I admired womens body in the expected male way, but have never asked a woman out. When I finally lost my virginity with a woman (at ~35yo) in a brothel, the experience wasn’t enjoyable at all – in a way I regretted it, but I kept trying. I have always loved foreplay more than the actual sexual act (in male role) as a whole. In time, I realised that the only sexual act I really enjoying was giving oral. Mostly, I found myself easily being friends with women but never going onto more, even after women have made sexual advances on me.

On several occasions, I’ve had people (mostly women) comment on my lack of “masculinity”, but they came too far apart for me to make connections. Sometimes the comments would be about my body – most commonly, women telling me that they wish they had legs like mine.

I have been a nudist much of my life and discovered that I spent more time admiring men than women. I starting thinking I was bisexual or gay (bottom), but I have been told by 2 men that I didn’t fit that definition, because I rejected any attempts by others to have fun with my manhood.

I have spent most of my life in a state of depression, without understanding the true reason for the depression. My response to depression was an excess of what some might call self-abusive behaviour.

It’s now become clear that I have been rejecting my male body since puberty. Even before puberty, there were hints at my being feminine. Since accepting my true self, so many things in my life make sense. My love of (pleasure I get from) cross-dressing has increased and I even started looking at myself in the mirror and spending lots of time making myself pretty. The thing that really reinforced the psychologist lead discover, was that I no longer spent hours playing with myself each day. The inner happiness that has followed my true-self acceptance has meant that I rarely get the urge to do such things.

I don’t know how to classify myself – the idea of surgery scares me, so I’m unlikely to ever transition. In the end, I don’t think it really matters – I don’t want my new found love of myself to be put at risk by trying to conform to a different set of “expectations” – repeating my years of trying to be a “man”.

[Big eazy]

I feel confused about my sexuality. I was born male and have felt pressure amongst my piers to me against the more feminine feelings I have. I am attracted to women but crave a emotional connection and cannot connect to the typical male mate with any way of thinking. I want a strong connection with one person who I can be secure with. I feel more connected to more traditionally feminine emotions, closeness, and cuddling compared to sexual desire. I haven’t talked to a lot of people and don’t feel comfortable bringing this up to me parents and friends.

[IngaB]

Hello , i am new here, i need help. I i need help from members who live in UK, i want but item from shop in UK, i live in europe

[Author]

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