Too Close to Home…

Maplewood was one of those sought after middle to upper class towns that was well noted for it’s charm, close commute to NYC and well respected school districts in NJ.

It was my home. They often say you can take the girl out of Jersey but you can’t take Jersey out of the girl. I resided there from the ripe age of five until I was twenty-three. I remember sometime in the 1960s a young high school girl was found murdered near the train station and her killer was never found. Otherwise, it was a peaceful suburban oasis.

Times have changed. There is no real ‘safe ‘place anymore. Jerseyites know this better than any other state because more people from NJ were killed on 9/11 then anywhere else. Anything can happen anywhere, anytime.

A dear NJ friend just sent me this horrific story of how a beautiful young transgendered woman was killed-right in my hometown. And why?

Read the article: Murdered transgender lingerie model in Maplewood, NJ.

This model was NOT a transgender — she was a transsexual. Jersey, don’t you know the difference? Who is teaching our children about these tough, murky, taboo gendered issues?

There is a big difference between a transgender and a transsexual. This beautiful model had reassignment surgery — which is extremely uncommon for most transsexuals. Unbeknownst to many, in order to be considered a transsexual one needs to change a physical part of themselves. Most often for male to female (MtF) transsexuals this means hormone injections in order to have breasts. However, most transsexuals do NOT have reassignment surgery because reassignment surgery needs more development and more successful results.

This sad story epitomizes the devastating consequences of ignorance. It is not bliss — it has the potential to kill and hurt others. And yes –all peoples from the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexuals, Transgenders (and I will add Crossdressers to this unique group) need to disclose their condition before any intimate relationship begins.  Heterosexual men (especially minorities) who are seeking out a one-night stand do not like surprises. Perhaps if she disclosed to him in the bar — before she took him to her home she might be alive today. However, do not think that because she might not have disclosed her condition — he had the right to take her life!  There is no excuse! NONE!

God willing justice will be served in this case that appears to be lacking national attention.  What if she was a ‘normal’ female lingerie model, would it make a difference to the media? Justice, from this social scientist’s perspective, is let this horrible loss be one that can teach others about what it is like to be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, transsexual or a crossdresser.  No one woke up one day and suddenly decided to choose from any of the aforementioned conditions. It is not a choice. It is a choice however to disclose once an intimate relationship begins to develop.

Education from all points of views needs to be addressed. Society needs to wake up and see that these issues are nothing shy of a new civil rights movement. Despite the fact I am a heterosexual ex cross dresser’s wife (who was not told until my 10th year of marriage) I nonetheless support GLBT & CD. I do not support lies, deceit, betrayal and non-disclosure. Not only can lies hurt others — in this case — it most likely killed her.

Looking back on my peaceful hometown, I wonder how much people have progressed? Do they realize that there are most likely many GLBT and cross dressers living in the quaint little town of Maplewood? And that some of their well-educated high school graduates grew up to be crossdressers wives!

Blessings,
Dee A Levy
Co-Author of The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives
www.crossdresserswives.com

Tags: featured, Identity, opinion

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion