The Occasional Woman: Undergarments

Hello Dear Readers! Apparently, a lot of you enjoyed my last column about How to Tell If Your Clothes Fit — so I’m going to follow up on a few related topics. Let’s begin with undergarments!

Aah, the bra. The brassiere is a major part of the chassis of your outfit! If it doesn’t “do the job” correctly, your clothes won’t look right.

First of all, the band, or underneath piece holding the cups, and therefore, you, should be even with the horizon! If it hikes up in the back, it can be either too loose or just plain worn out, or overtaxed. It should fit snugly around your under-boob rib cage, with the “girls” ushered smoothly into the cups. If the bra droops in front, well, so will you! The cups should be filled much like a cupcake would be; holding all the contents and not letting the occupants spill over the top, or sneak out underneath. You know they want to. I always prefer a skin-color bra — your skin color, so it doesn’t shout BRAAAAAAAAAA  under your sheerer tops. I go so far as to dye white bras, and my only other colors are black and a smooth grey. And leopard-print, floral — anything but white.

Next in underwear is . . . underwear. I recommend wearing it — what if you have an accident and wind up in the Emergency Room? You will be judged, make no mistake about this. I like cotton undies, especially in hawt weather. They keep you airy and comfy. And I do not mean big ole white, loose-around-the-armpits Granny panties! Cotton drawers now are very festive, come in a rainbow of colors and have lace-n-stuff too. And thongs. This is my recommendation for regular wear. For. . .uh . . .private fun, get yourselves some wild stretchy leopard print or some wacky and naughty drawers!

Shapewear

Or instruments of torture-in the past. Shapewear, formerly often know as a girdle, waist-cincher or Iron Maiden, has really evolved to be far less heinous than it used to be! The Spanx people make some swell stuff, camisoles, butt-lifters, tummy tamers, panty hose, thigh-controllers and much more. They can help you look smooth and shapely, and can hide a . . . lot of things. Sure, there are still the old kind of girdles around — cotton and rubber contraptions with hardware, if you are drawn to that sort of thing!

Slips

The job of a slip is to be a layer of smoothness between your body and your clothes! A slip can help a dress slide ever so smoothly over your curves, help eliminate lines and ensure that, when you stand up, your dress or skirt will not be wedged into your tushal region! I recommend a slip, especially for an unlined dress.

Camisoles are kind of like half of a slip, but only the top half; I love them, and I like the ones with lace at the top, or cuuute cotton ones that button up the front and give you that Victorian look! And, they hide your bra, and can look fetchingly both naive and naughty at the same time!

Pantyhose

Well, I hate ’em, but usually I must wear them maybe once a year; they really do look better with most dresses unless you have a bit of a tan, and open-toe shoes or nifty little sandals. And, if the thermometer is over 85, ditch ’em! While thigh-highs work well for folks with very muscular, non-fat legs, sometimes the ole garter belt and stockings can actually be more comfy than panty hose. Letting your nether regions get all breathable and such. Please do not wear white hose unless you are a nurse, know CPR and how to do a successful tracheotomy.

So, dear ladies, enjoy the summer and remember to try natural fibers and sunscreen!

Tags: fashion, featured, foundation garments, opinion, style, underwear

Category: Style, Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Fashion, Transgender How To, Transgender Opinion