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The Occasional Woman — Passing Tips

| Jun 18, 2018
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Hello, adorable readers and readerettes. I hope most of you are as glad as I am that winter finally seems to be over! As we are now able to show more of ourselves, let’s think about a few things, shall we? I’ll start.

I happened to attend a local event for my readership recently, and noticed a few things which bear scrutiny. If you are reading this, you are most likely a genetic dude, but have a well-developed feminine side, and you enjoy embracing this facet of your psyche. Good on you! And I am here to assist you in being your BFV — Best Female Version.

In my experiences with dressing the gender-fluid, I have done lots of research, and have made tons of observations over the years. One big thing I learned is this: The average genetic man has a torso two inches longer than a similarly-sized woman, and he also has a completely different center of gravity. Genetic women have a low center of gravity, existing mostly in the pelvic and tummy region  while genetic men have a substantially higher center, which I can only believe to have something to do with carrying heavy loads, and football. This means that the two genders hold themselves differently and walk differently.

Killer Heel. Can you handle it?

So! If you are wearing a dress and heels, I encourage you to think like a woman, and walk like one. At the event I attended, I saw several gents who were nicely dressed as ladies and looked fine while standing still, but walked like linebackers. Shoulders were hunched over in front, as if the person was clutching a football, and making for a touchdown. Legs were in running mode — knees nowhere near each other, thighs were feet apart, and the footwork could only be described as clomping.

Simply put, women do not walk like this. We just don’t. Ladies lead with the hips and pelvis, not the shoulders. We mainly clomp when seriously drunk. And knees stay close together! Especially when sitting down — I did see a whole lot of undies I shouldn’t have, as attendees sat with legs akimbo and showed England, France and Underpants. If your goal is to be seen as feminine, you don’t walk like you are smuggling a sack of grapefruit betwixt your thighs.

And remember to unlock your hip region — sway a bit, eh? Watch some Marilyn Monroe films, and you will see what I mean. Her walk was like Jell-O, for which there is always room. Women are more snake-like than men, because we are more subversive and dangerous. As the old song says, put your hands on your hips and let your backbone slip!  

As for the clomping, very few things will “out” you faster than walking badly in heels. I know some of you may be tired of hearing this, but you have got to practice walking in heels!! You just can’t pass while slamming your stiletto-clad feet down like you are crushing bugs. Walk S L O W E R, and pay attention. Do this at home until you have mastered (or mistressed) a calm, slightly-swaying and a wee bit sexy walk. Unleash your hips, set them free and glide your pelvis forward. What’s the rush?? Shake your shoulders back, and please unclasp the imaginary football. Nothing says “Dude Looks Like a Lady” more than an ungainly and mule-esque walk.

So that’s my rant for the day! I certainly never mean to offend anyone, and I just want you all to look and act your feminine best.

Bonus Video: Men attempting to walk in high heels for the very first time. 

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The Occasional Woman does clothing alterations and can create a new outfit or costume from scratch based on your idea. Contact Lorraine via email.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender How To

The Occasional Woman

About the Author ()

I am a native Californian who has been based in the Philadelphia area since 1984. My first CD fashion creation was a gold lamé dress for the now esteemed editor of this publication. Since then I have made tons of fabulous frocks and other fashion apparel for the crossdressing and transgender community. Contact me for custom clothing or alterations via email: [email protected]

Comments (1)

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  1. tasidevil tasidevil says:

    What is just as amusing is to watch women trying to walk like men. For several years I was a guess speaker in counseling classes at West Virginia University. In one particular class, one of the female students (and I don’t remember the reason why) chose to demonstrate how men walk and she couldn’t do it. It bought about a bit of laughter. So of course I had to demo how it was done for both sexes.

    For sure Lorraine is spot-on about our football walk. I’ve seen it too many times from some nicely dressed cross-dressers. It does take practice so I recommend you start with some kitten heels and not those 6 inchers in the video. Hugs….Tasi

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