The Occasional Woman: Coats!

Dear Readers and Readerettes, I hope you are comfortably wading through this. . .different. . .holiday season with all the grace and aplomb you can muster. Now let’s talk about something about which we do have a choice—COATS. Yes, in many parts of the world, most notably not Australia, it is winter. Which means the need for Warm Outerwear is at its pinnacle! I recently read an article online called Five Winter Must-Have Coats. Let’s break it down!

A boyfriend jacket.

The article went on to list several types of coats they think will be the cat’s meow for you. They are not always correct. Here we go!

The first, and most egregious mention, is what is called a “boyfriend blazer”. I know, ha ha ha. If you wanted to be a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be reading this! It’s a man’s blazer, all butch’n’stuff, with a Prep School vibe. Nuff said.

A blazer tailored for women.

But here’s a good one—if you want the blazer effect, but girly, go for a structured cut, but in a beautiful fabric. I have a faux-Chanel, pink tweed blazer, that I love to wear. It goes with almost everything, from jeans to a skirt, and makes me feel very classy, yet adorable.

The Puffer Coat, or Jacket. Hmmmm, puffy coats—the Michelin Man. Cuz who doesn’t want to look like she’s wearing neatly-arranged marshmallows?! You, that’s who. I would suggest opting for a warm, lovely down or down-alternative jacket that is made of smaller marshmallows. There are many out there with reduced-size channels of warmth, and some great colors. Land’s End has a bunch. Be warm, not bulky.

Plaid jacket with velvet collar.

Plaid. I know, I love plaid too! But not horse-blanket size plaid! A medium or small plaid is a thing of beauty; wool is one of the earliest miracle fibers, keeping warmth in and being non-sweaty at the same time. A plaid wool jacket, with a velvet collar? Who’s classy now? You! Think Katherine Hepburn, not the Hefty Man.

Another recommendation is the Shearling Coat or jacket. This is a leather, or leather-like jacket with furry innards. It’s primary attribute is making the wearer look 15 pounds heavier. Save it for gardening, or slopping the hawgs.

The ever-popular Bomber Jacket is next up. Very warm, nice pocketage. Unfortunately, most have a stretchy band at the waist, which can give that so-desired cut-in-half blobby look. My advice? Do acquire one, but try to get one without the tight band. Bomber jackets were worn by very manly gents in airplanes, dropping payloads of death on unsuspecting enemies and villagers. The waist-and-wristbands are there to keep freezing air from meeting and rampaging around your nervous, sweaty, adrenaline-soaked body. Try a modified, fashionable bomber-like jacket—cut less blocky, and slimmer through the torso.

Wrap coat.

In closing, I would like to suggest coat/jacket alternatives! A beautiful wool wrap-coat, or fingertip-length jacket, is a wonderful choice. The miracle of good wool will keep you nice and toasty, and the belt will give you a waist. Consider a real or fake fur collar and cuffs—I have a devastating maroon wool coat with sumptuous long collar and wide cuffs, I feel like a superstar every time I sashay out in it. Plus, it’s a $35.00 flea market find! Also, consider a coat with a stand-up collar; a wide collar can magnify large shoulders, which isn’t what we’re looking for.

In conclusion, I suggest that one wants to concentrate on a sleek line, or go kkkrazy with a purple tie-dyed fake fur jacket—but with a hood! Do what makes you happiest, and remember these tips so you can look your most fabulous.

Tags: coats, crossdressing, fashion, featured, style

Category: crossdressing, Transgender Fashion