The Making of a Young CD — Online Dating
Why online dating?
Truth is that most women would not be willing to date a male-to-female cross-dresser. Not genetic women. Not even transgender. Women want men, men’s men, manly men, masculine and tough men, tough guys, Supermen. Being faced with that dating barrier along with the sad reality of not being able to go out truly a lot just for the sake of going out because of being swamped with school (I’m a University of Florida Gator, hence swamped) and work, I decided to turn to online dating.
What does online dating encompass for a crossdresser like me? Simple — the one and only perk of actually being able to find someone compatible. With even traditional online dating sites like plentyoffish.com, match.com, okcupid.com, and the dating app Tinder, you will be able to browse through hundreds, if not thousands, of potential mates, very few of whom would be anywhere from okay to great about you being yourself. However, few potential life partners are better than none.
My best personal advice for getting noticed is keeping your profile short, sweet, and to-the-point. Also, be yourself and be honest about what you do for work, play, what you like, and what you don’t. “Honesty is the best policy” will soon become your best friend. Being honest and upfront about what you do will save you a lot of time and maybe money that someone in your past may have wasted as you tried to make your relationship work even though the girl or woman despised and resented you for wanting or even pretending to be a woman, with or without her.
Let’s talk about setting up your profile.
Make yourself great bait by signing up as the person you present as on a regular basis. For example, if you are Aaron 25 days of the month, don’t set a profile up as Ariel, whom you dress up as for the other 5 days. It goes back to honesty — be honest and natural and you’ll get more views and likes than if you were not. This comes from personal experience. Also keep an open mind. Not everyone is familiar with crossdressers, so don’t over emphasize it in your profile. Instead, talk about career interests, other ‘hobbies’ besides crossdressing, life goals, what you like to eat, what movies and shows you watch, what books you read, what music you listen to, etc. Make yourself seem to be an interesting person and people will come visit your profile. Be sure to include keywords. Your due diligence should involve finding what key words attract you and which are popular among the people you look for.
While you should not talk about crossdressing too much, spilling out your life story on the profile, why not throw in a couple of your best pictures as a girl along with your best pictures as a guy — you never know if that could be catching to someone. In my case, three girls messaged me, asking about my crossdressing since they felt intrigued. Keep an open mind as you may have to school a few of them on what crossdressing means for you. For me, it means I love and adore women so much that I want to emulate their radiating elegance and femininity on myself. Some of them may ask why you do this even though you are straight (if you identify as a person who only loves women).
Heed my warning.
Some are a pain in the rear bumper to get through when it comes to meeting in person. Make sure you do your best to get to know a woman a little first before you ask for phone, video chat address, or a location for the first date. Make her feel at ease before reeling the first date in. Some of the women you will meet online, maybe even some of you, will be hesitant to meet in person. The best thing is to keep an open mind and be polite and gentle in your conversation. Show off some of that elegance and femininity you have in you through your language in the messages or letters you exchange. Play your cards smooth, deal them one by one, and don’t drop the whole deck at once. Otherwise, the fish will slip. Sometimes that may happen even if you are playing your cards one by one. When you get a bad fish, just keep swimming and never lose hope — you will find the one.
A Chanelle slideshow!
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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
Chanelle,
Very well written and your message is on point. Good luck with your schooling and with your approach to on line mate seeking. I hope you become a regular writer for TGF.
Pat
Nice article, Chanelle, and sound advice too. Keep up the good work.
I’ve always said that honesty is the best policy, and that crossdressers should admit to being men who like to dress and behave as women … but a lot of crossdressers insist that their feminine persona is their TRUE side, and this rarely crosses paths with their male life. But surely if we’re honest to ourselves, then we’re more likely to be seen as having nothing to hide by the public, right?
I think I’m correct in saying that there aren’t many crossdressers of your age here, so maybe it’s a generational issue. I’d like to think that attitudes towards gender-noncomformity are changing amongst us gender-noncomformists, even if not yet amongst the public …