The Crossdressers’ Wife — The First Time

So many crossdressers wives have no clue that this is a life long condition that begins at 7-10 years of age. Those crucial years when little boys begin their pre-pubescent stage. However, there is that tiny percentage, approximately 1% of the population that grows up a bit different from the norm and crossdressing is a case in point. It is abnormal, unusual and most often so difficult to explain.

How many of you have gone back in time to the first time you ever crossdressed? When was the first time you had a desire to dress up in women’s/girl clothing? What were you feeling? Was it all pleasure? Any fears? What was that like? How much do you recall? The silk? Was it your mother’s clothing or your sister’s? Did you ever tell anyone then? Did you get caught? How did you feel after the first time? How long did it take you to crossdress again?

I pose these questions for a multitude of reasons. Your wives want to know! They sent me to seek out answers. Knowing that 70% of CDs do NOT tell their wives the truth about themselves before marriage — when we do find out — we have questions and a lot of our husbands are still withholding the truth. Time is up for many . . .

Why is it important to do an autopsy on this condition? The more we know, the more empowered we will all be — especially CDs and their wives/partners. Please do this exercise. Revisit in your mind the first time you ever thought about crossdressing or did crossdress.

So many scared CD husbands have contacted me over the years, asking for advice. How do I tell my wife of 20 years that I am crossdressing? Answer: Tell her everything — from the genesis of your condition to your current stage. Tell her what that little boy was feeling and fearing. It is so important for your partner to understand that this is something that has been with you for life — and the feelings are not changing — they escalate. Let her see that confused young boy inside of you (this will help her to have more compassion and understanding).

When many crossdressers wives discover that their husbands were boys when they began crossdressing, for many of us it is a relief in some ways. This means your wife and your marriage has NOTHING to do with you being a crossdresser. Some crossdresser husbands try to blame their condition on their wives. “I wouldn’t be doing this if you blah blah blah. “? BS. Of course you would still be crossdressing — do not blame this on your wife. It is not her fault — nor is it yours. EXCEPT for the honesty factor — that is your responsibility. And I would start with the whole truth and do not forget to say, I AM SO SORRY FOR LYING TO YOU. Some never even have the decency to say they are sorry for pulling the rug out from under their wives — the ones they are supposed to love, adore and protect.

How many of you have ever been in therapy? For those of you who did tell their wives, how did you tell her? Can you offer others, who want to save their marriage, advice on what worked for you when you told your wife/partner that you are a crossdresser? Did any of you bring your wife to a therapist to tell her?

What happened to those who were caught crossdressing? Have you ever told your wife the whole truth about your first time? If so, what was her reaction?

The majority of the population has no idea about what causes crossdressing, when it starts, how it starts, and of course the wives are often the most clueless ones. And they are also the ones who are so often hurt by the lies that often accompany most crossdressers.

Some free advice — if you have not told your wife yet — time is ticking. She will find out. It is a matter of time. How you handle this situation could determine the trajection of your marriage.  If anyone is interested in a consultation, please contact me at [email protected].

Blessings,

Dee A Levy
www.crossdresserswives.com
Founder of the NPO: Cross Dressers Wives
The Cross Dressers Wives * Our Secret Lives

Tags: crossdressing, featured, spouses

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion