Starting 2022 with Feminine Intention
Eden Carlsen
We often start the new year with goals for ourselves. There’s the classic goals we all have: I’m going to make more money, I’m going to lose that weight, I’m going to take more time to do what I love. There’s also the goals to stop things: I’m going to stop smoking, I’m going to stop eating fast food, I’m going to give up sugar. And then there are the gender expression goals. I’m going to pass, I’m going to dress more, I’m going to perfect my look. . . the list goes on and on.
I love goal setting. I love setting some sort of challenge for myself, and working to get to that goal. I love vision boards; my desktop screen and my phone’s lock screen are both my vision board. Maybe it’s because I’ve been raised by Virgo women who are so well organized, they could invade a country and redecorate a house on the same day.
Goals to me are inherently emotional, and come with both a masculine and feminine side to them. There is the goal itself. It is something to chase, to achieve, to master. It’s the masculine side: it’s a task on the to do list. But the feminine side of a goal is the reason why. Why we have the goal. Why it matters. Why we are inspired to have the goal.
When we set goals for ourselves, ultimately we are trying to achieve something for ourselves. Sometimes, it’s easy to see what the intention is: giving up fast food is a step to eating healthier, which is to take better care of yourself, which improves the quality of your life. But sometimes we set goals without thinking about why that goal matters to us. I’ll give you one of my favorite goals, and it’s one I set probably every year (and maybe it’s one of your goals, too.)
Red heels.
Wear more high heels.
Why? Well, high heels are awesome — I’m pretty sure we can all agree on that. On the surface, it’s really easy to rationalize what your goal is.
“I have lots of high heels I never wear.”
“If I wear more high heels, then I have a reason to buy more high heels.”
“If I wear high heels more, then I’ll get better in walking in heels.”
To me, these are ‘masculine’ reasons as to why I’ve set the goal. It’s a quick explanation that gets the job done — on to the next task! But is that really the reason why this is a goal? All of those reasons are completely valid reasons on why you should wear high heels more. Is it the entire reason, though? Probably not. And that’s where femininity comes in to goal setting.
Honestly, when you stop and think about why this goal is important, it can come to you pretty quickly. High heels for me are an iconic piece of feminine fashion: they elongates the legs, which helps to slim the body. It instantly sophisticates an outfit, whether it’s a dress, a skirt, or even a pair of jeans, from something casual to something fashionable. High heels make a statement. They say that you care about how you present yourself, and that you’re confident in how you look. Many women won’t wear heels without a full face of makeup (yet how many women wear makeup and don’t wear high heels? Something to think on.)
When you think about it that way, it’s easy to see where we actually are going with this goal: it’s about taking pride in your appearance and about feeling confident in how you look. It’s about putting the best foot forward in how you carry yourself (see what I did there?)
It’s easy to say you want to wear high heels for a surface reason, but when you think about why the goal matters, it’s easy to see that there’s much more to the goal than what you realize. So as you set your intentions for the new year, ask yourself not only what your goal is, but why it matters.
I bet you’ll find that you’ll have a deeper connection to your goal, and you’ll feel more dedicated to achieving it. And all of a sudden, there’s a feminine intention behind it.
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Category: crossdressing, Transgender Body & Soul
About the Author (Author Profile)
Eden’s love for all things feminine has been a major part of her life, and her career as a certified fitter with The Breast Form Store is a perfect match. Eden began coaching one-on-one after more than a decade of experience working to help trans women and crossdressers feel more safe, confident, passable and beautiful when presenting en femme. She launched her first course on confidence and femininity in April 2021. You can find her on social media as @findyourfemme.Subscribe
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my!!!… eden,,,you look as fabulous in the photo as you are on the phone when you helped with my order!! you are not only beautiful on your outside appearance,but also gorgeous at your core! if you remember “laura forest” early last month?? you helped me pick out the hm nikki wig over the sky wig and picked out the exact custom colour i was after. you simply completed my order with love,care and service.
now, hear me out when i say that i consider myself as a “client”..and not just a ‘customer’, since i’ve been ordering from tbfs since at least 2013.
from x-drss’g then, to now full-time living en femme starting, beginning of june 2021, and still appreciating your wonder-products. ……loving you,,, laura xo
Love the blog wish I could have more time go in dresses and hells