Things I Have Learned

I stole this idea from a CD website I have mentioned in the past. Someone posed the question and started it off with some silly answers, so I thought I would take a more serious or at least thoughtful spin at this. So, here are a few things I have learned since the inception of Kandi in late 2014.

• People are unbelievably accepting.
• I never pass and never will. The list of tells is lengthy. Don’t deny their existence. If nothing else, your hands will give you away, sorry it’s a fact. Work with these tells. Mitigate them as best you can and accept the others exist, it’s a fact that they do.
• Not passing is not an issue. Don’t confuse kindness or compliments for passing. You are probably experiencing that specifically because you do not pass. I believe almost every compliment I have ever received, and there have been many, are specifically because someone appreciated me for being me and doing so very well.
• My rules work: be smart, appropriate, confident and visible.
• Don’t overdo it. Dress like a real woman, not someone trying to wear every conceivable item of women’s clothing all at once. Dress like real women do, most don’t wear giant heels or a dress too tight for them (most).
• Think it through, where am I going, what am I wearing. Slow it down, I know how exciting it can be, but doing it right makes all the difference in your experience as well as how you are perceived.
• Dress for what you will be doing. If, for example, you will be doing a lot of walking, take the heel size down a bit.
• Volunteering is an indisputable means for getting out and being very comfortable and valued in doing so.
• A smile is the prettiest thing you can wear.
• Act like a lady if you want to be accepted. Being “in your face” will never work, ever.
• Always reward kindness.
• If you love someone, tell them because at some time it will be too late.
• Style is not that difficult, it’s a simple matter of matching colors and wearing things that fit properly.
• Highlight your strengths, mitigate your weaknesses. Acknowledge that you do indeed, have weaknesses.
• Being me, previously someone I wasn’t wild about, is now incredibly joyful.
• Getting myself in front of as many people as possible has tremendously boosted my confidence and gained me many friendships and friendly acquaintances.
• The right dress. . . no words.
• Hugs from total strangers can be addictive.
• Put yourself in comfortable situations.
• When shopping, you are a customer. Your money is as green as any woman’s money. Use that to your advantage. Accept nothing less.
• Using the ladies room is a non issue, if you do so properly. For God’s sake, stop the ladies room selfies unless in a single toilet situation!
• Happiness is a birthright and not always easy to achieve in this life. Find it, cherish it and hold on to it for dear life.
• The great majority of the things I have learned have been overwhelmingly positive. However, making actual friendships, real ones are difficult when you are not a real person. By that I mean, if I were actually Kandi (24/7/365), then I would hope connections would sustain themselves. Being a part-time Kandi means connections remain shallow, meaningful (to me), but shallow. They come, but they always go, always. There is no ability for any relationship to grow roots.
• Pandemics blow!

I guess what I have really learned, I am a good person, I am a valued human being and I have every right to do what I wish wearing what I want, as long as I accept that we live in a (generally) civilized society and I simply play by the rules.

People, individual people, are wonderful!

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Tags: crossdressing, featured, opinion

Category: crossdressing