Retro Rerun: Advice From 1996
Today we mine the TGForum Archives for a post from 1996. At that time we had a peer advice column called Dear Rachael. TGF members would send their questions to the editor and she would pass them along to Rachael. In this post from August of ’96 Rachael offers advice to a crossdresser who wants to grow breasts. Then a trans woman who desperately wants to get out of the closet. Followed by a trans woman in the U.K. who wants to begin transition, and then she has an answer for a crossdresser who wants correspond with other girls. Keep in mind that the questions and Rachael’s replies were written in 1996.
Dear Rachael,
I was just reading Babs’ comment on hormones to grow beautiful breasts. I am a straight CD that enjoys lingerie and would like to grow beautiful breasts to show to my wife and have for myself to look good in. Though I have only experimented with lingerie and make-up I get very excited about wearing women’s clothes. My question is this: is there a way to grow breasts and lose my body hair without taking hormones internally? Are there any reliable topical applications? How can I find out more about the side effects of hormone therapy? Where would I go for such therapy? How do I hide my breasts when I am not dressed as Denise? This is scary to even send this over the Net. But I don’t think I want to deny my feelings for wanting to be and enjoying being feminine anymore. I am as straight as the straightest with regards to my sexual orientation and do not want people to perceive me as otherwise.
Denise
Dear Denise,
Can you grow beautiful breasts without taking hormones internally? Well, ingestion of hormones will give the best results although they may take a couple of years to fully form. Your potential size is governed by your genes. Your breasts will probably be one to two cups smaller than the women in your family.
Most experts agree that topical applications do little to add size or inches to your bust. Don’t confuse topical with patches that actually administer hormones topically; these require a prescription and you must be committed to SRS, seeing a psychologist, etc.. This is not you from what you said.
Hormones can cause body hair to become finer and perhaps lighter, but does nothing for the beard. Side effects? Hormones can kill you. They are particularly dangerous if you buy them on the black market and are not under a doctor’s care. Don’t fool around with them. Get your medicine from a doctor. Really though, you do not sound like a good candidate. You are not headed for SRS by your own admission.
There are other products out there that are not hormones, but claim to enhance breasts; they’re called phytoestrogens. These organic estrogen-like sources have been know to satisfy some transgendered folks in their quest for larger breasts. They reportedly act as a catalyst to help the male body generate its own female hormones in a greater quantity. Of course, the manufactures will not guarantee anything. You might consider these as they are “safe” if directions are followed.
A sports bra will flatten your breasts, should you develop them. A coat, jacket, vest, loose sweater or loose clothing helps to hide the otherwise obvious.
One last question though . . . what makes you think that your wife will be delighted with her husband having “wonderful breasts?” She may run, not walk, in the opposite direction. This is the problem that I suggest that you deal with first. What you want to do is not wrong, it just may change you life in ways you cannot even imagine . . . not all for the good. Be careful!
Rachael
Dear Rachael,
My name is Joan and I live in a small NE Washington State. I have been a transgendered person all of my adult life and somewhat in the closet. I would really love to get out of it. I have passed okay during daytime shopping trips, but my job and family keep me in the closet, I really need some help with it. I am 52 years old and Joan needs out! Can you help? Thanks!
Dear Joan,
Sure I can . . . perhaps just a little. The next time you are all fluffed out go to the mirror and look at that lovely lady who “passes okay” and say, “this is the lady I want others to know.” See wasn’t that easy? NOT! Even though our moments of strength unfold at times like this, they all too often give way to . . . just plain fear. Telling is never easy. Often our fears of loss of reputation, loss of family and/or job are overblown by our own minds. The scary thing is that they may not be!
You say that you are transgendered. What does that mean to you? Are you a crossdresser, a person who wants to live out your life as a woman, without SRS or a person who wants to seek a sex change? These are questions that only you can answer.
I have been lucky and the loved ones that I have told, save one, have accepted me (the other me) warmly. What will help you through this is counseling so you can deal with who you really are. Your wife will need help as well. Your marriage may survive and may not. If you want to have surgery to become a woman, most likely she will leave you. If you are to retain your male components and just want to “dress” come out slowly to her, don’t push with too much all at once. Really think twice before coming out at work. That might be disastrous.
You have a lot of hard work ahead of you. Start with that counselor!
Rachael
Dear Rachael,
I know you’ve heard it all before so I won’t go into details but after being on the net for three weeks talking to people and reading the various articles in this forum my previous thoughts have been confirmed in my mind once and for all. I am a transsexual, but what do I do next? I live in Kent, England and although I’ll be nervous I am prepared at last to seek professional help, preferably with a female therapist. I know there are lots of hurdles to jump and things to consider but talking through things with someone who understands is my only solution at the moment. I am 45 and I’ve longed to be a female ALL my life. That’s where my femininity ends. I have big feet, I am well built and have lost a lot of hair. If I should go the whole way I would be terrified of looking like a man in drag. Having the op. itself doesn’t worry me at all I would consider that to be a relief but what exactly can hormone treatment do? I don’t expect to lose my big feet but is there a chance my hair would grow back? Life can be so difficult but one day I hope to find the happiness that has eluded me since I was a child. Can you suggest anyone I could see in the U.K. for the guidance I need? Thank you,
Cheryl
Dear Cheryl,
The first thing you must do is see a therapist. You must not only want to be a female, you must convince yourself that there is no other way to go . . . if you’re really are headed that way. You know, some lovely ladies lose their hair and, no hon, hormone treatment will not make your hair grow back. They make wonderful wigs, some that you wear all day and even when swimming. You will always be “stuck” with your large frame and big feet. You should have seen the size of my late grandmother’s feet . . . and she was no less a woman because of their size. Women come in all sizes . . . just look around!
Hormones will cause some nice changes. Your breasts will develop. How large? Well the experts say that you should look at the women in your family and subtract one to two cup sizes and that will be you. This can take a couple of years. The younger you start, the better. Your weight will be redistributed with loss in upper body muscle and an increase of fatty tissue on the hips. Your skin will get softer and more translucent in appearance. Your body hair will become finer and perhaps lighter in color. Your beard will stay as thick and heavy as ever. You will need electrolysis or a couple of shaves a day.
SRS is a long process, but well worth it if you really are certain of whom you want to be. Who to see in the U.K.? I do not know. What I did was to look through the yellow pages for therapists who specialize in gender issues. After a few calls, I found a wonderful lady who helped me far more than she probably knows. That was in the days before Internet! Now there is so much available at your fingertips, you should have no trouble in locating psychiatrist who specializes in transsexual issues. Good luck,
Rachael
Dear Rachael,
At last I have someone who can talk to me. I have been a TV all my life since the age of 7. I should have been a girl but it was not to be. I got married but my wife would not tolerate this so I have had to dress en femme during my overseas trips which have been very frequent. I have had so many interesting times I would love to share them with someone. I love all fashion girl talk etc. I would love to be your pen pal. By the way, I am a lingerie freak and nothing excites me more than Panties, Garter Belt and Nylon Stockings with a tight Mini Skirt. Hope to hear from you. Hugs
Norma
Dear Norma,
You have corresponded to me directly with some of the details of your TV life. I am sure I will hear from you again. Wouldn’t be nice if your wife could tolerate it . . . just a little. Ever think about both of you going to a counselor? If she would let you express yourself, you might liven up things in the bedroom, too!
Rachael
Category: crossdressing, Transgender Body & Soul
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