Own it Sister!

I sat across the desk from the CEO of the company. I was nervously extending my hand with an image of Char on my phone’s screen, showing this pro bodybuilder, company owner, for the first time.

He gazed at the image for a minute, then handed the phone back. “I can support this, just own it”, he said smiling.

Own it? I thought, what does that even mean? That was several years ago and now, I think I have an answer to my question.

Owning has 3 stages of growth to move through in the process.

First, owning it means to stop the denial and resistance to what is trying to emerge from deep within. 

I have purged the closet several times over the years, as many of us have, or even are at present.

It’s like trying to hold a big beach ball underwater on a windy day with one hand; it is no easy task. What is emerging now has been trying to since I could chew, basically. I remember one day months after I had purged everything I had of Char’s emergence, everything except one pair of skinny jeans and one tank top. Both items were tucked away deep in the abyss of one of my drawers, juuuust in case.

I had purged a few times in the past, so I was familiar with the resurgence of “desire” after extended time gaps, and, it came around again. This time several months had passed with no desire to dress, then one day I found myself rummaging through closet and drawers looking for the outfit.

Shortly after that day I started shopping again; clothes, makeup, shoes and this time I made the choice to own stage two of “owning it”; acceptance. As I shopped, I was buying what ever Char wanted, within reason of course, ha ha.

Once I stopped denying and started accepting that Char was a part of my soul trying to express itself, the harsh suffering began to subside for me. I wasn’t constantly thinking suicidal thoughts and hating the reflection in the mirror anymore.

I accepted that this was not going away, and I was not going to purge ever again; it was not a phase I would grow through and out of eventually, and in fact, the more I consciously chose to say kind things to the boy/girl in the mirror, the more I began to like her. This brings us to stage three of owning it.

Stage three is a mighty difference. It is the difference between accepting this aspect of my soul’s desire to truly embracing it.

Embracing means-to, in the words of Fern Gully, “help it grow”. Taking part intentionally and consciously in creating the best conditions possible for the fullest expression of my soul’s natural desire.

I began, and continue to use, mirror talk. Mirror talk is very powerful when I ask things like, what do you need today Char? What do you want most today? How can I help you grow today? Char always answers with a quiet voice, a feeling or a nudge in one direction or another.

Embracing is leaning into the emergence of beautiful you. The state of mind where we know that we are simply playing a character and that we are creating this character from a deep desire from within. The desire of a character who is attempting to be seen, heard and known. A character who loves and wants to be loved.

This week, observe where you are resisting, repressing, and holding back your own expansion. Resistance causes suffering.

Allowing this part of you to emerge creates more freedom from suffering and victim consciousness, and it is still a defensive play.

Embracing is gifting yourself the best ever support.

It’s intentionally creating the best conditions we can, as safely as we can, in support of the fully authentic emergence of beautiful you.

Becoming our authentic self, embracing this part of us that is emerging will create feelings of satisfaction, happiness, courage, self-esteem and self-love, the greatest of all human experiences.

Thank you for reading TGForum and thank you for being exactly who you are, girl!

Namaste ‘n huggles,

Char

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Tags: featured, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul