Op-Ed: Where are my party girls?
If you’ve been reading TGForum regularly you know that June 12-14 the 13th Annual Trans-Health Conference was held at the Pennsylvania Convention Center in Philadelphia. I dropped in on the Conference the first day and did a report which ran last week as part of our TGF New Content. In my report I made a point of the diversity displayed by the attendees. Every niche of the TG spectrum was present. Whatever gender identification you can think of was there, and projected attendance during the three days was approximately 3000. That’s a lot of trans people. Even if you take out the non-trans people who were there as allies/lovers or parents of trans people you still get an enormous number of TGs in one place.
Angela with Door Diva Jade at Angela’s Laptop Lounge.
As you may know editing TGForum is not my only job. I also am a producer of parties in the Philadelphia area that are for trans people, their friends and admirers. If you’re on the gender spectrum anywhere you are welcome to attend my parties on the first and third Saturday of every month. The party is called Angela’s Laptop Lounge and it’s my attempt to reproduce some of the fun I had while I was developing my Angela-ness going to clubs in New York City. When I was driving to Manhattan to go to The Limelight, Tunnel, or the TG-centric Edelweiss I kept saying to myself “Why do I have to drive 100 miles for a fun, accepting party experience?”
I did eventually find places in Philadelphia that were accepting of TGs in their midst so the journey to Manhattan stopped being a weekly pilgrimage. Places locally like The Black Banana, Vagabond (the movable party on Monday nights) and Shock Therapy parties were good for mixing and mingling with hip people who didn’t mind boys who like to be girls. But those parties and clubs, like the gay clubs in Philly, accepted TGs but they weren’t “our” clubs and parties.
I started The Laptop Lounge with the intent of having it be “our” party. Everyone is welcome at The Laptop Lounge as long as you are respectful but it’s produced by a TG for TGs.
After starting slow in 2005 and having a set back or two the attendance started to climb and my largest crowds approached 80 people. With 80 TGs, friends and admirers in the house that “party feeling” fell into place. Those nights surely made fun memories for the people who were there. The more people attend, the better the party since there are more personalities to mix and mingle with and more people to see. Friendships are made, people find partners and individuals form cliques with like minded folks. After a night of dancing and chatting many of the party girls would go to a local diner to have breakfast and spend a little bit more time together.
Since those peak attendance days the Lounge has had to move around as venues became unavailable or were found to be unsuitable. I’ve had to stop in at practically every restaurant and bar in the King of Prussia vicinity and do my sales pitch to the owner/manager on why it would be good for their bottom-line to host our party. That’s the hardest part of being a party promoter. Worse even than hauling in and setting up the sound system.
Dancing at Baxter’s.
I am holding the parties now at a place called Baxter’s and it’s located about 10 minutes south of King of Prussia in a shopping center with no other businesses open at night and plenty of parking. The largest crowd I’ve gotten there so far is near 50 people. That’s a very small fraction of the attendance of the Trans-Health Conference. I know I don’t have Janet Mock appearing at The Lounge as she did at the Conference but there’s a large difference between 50 and 3000. Shouldn’t a party for TGs run by one of their sisters get a few more people?
While I was at the Conference I ran into some ladies who used to attend Renaissance meetings. Since I was associated with Renaissance many years ago they asked me if the group was still meeting near King of Prussia. I told them that yes, it was still there. As we chatted one of them remarked that it seemed like people didn’t want to go to support group meetings anymore but would rather go to a bar and drink. At that point I told them I was the producer of a party where TGs went to drink. We quickly moved to other topics.
But, it made me think. Is that how many in the TG community see parties like The Laptop Lounge — or the other TG parties and club nights that have popped up around the country? Is it frivolous to want to wear a sexy outfit and have a cocktail? If you’re dancing and chatting with your friends is that not a good thing? It seemed that the ladies I was talking to felt that trans people should go to support groups and talk about serious issues, not party and have fun. Maybe that works for them but I know it doesn’t work for me. I prefer to be a party girl.
The Laptop Lounge is a valuable institution because it creates a safe space that allows trans people to be social in their preferred gender in a totally accepting place. Whether you are headed to living full-time in another gender or are a weekend party girl, The Lounge is a place to socialize and be socialized as the woman, or man, you want to be. It’s a place to develop your social skills, skills you couldn’t work on while you were in the closet.
Beside being around other people and learning to interact socially, one of the biggest benefits of going to any TG support group is the simple act of meeting other people like yourself. I still remember that dazed feeling when I walked into a TG group meeting for the first time and saw others like myself. It’s fantastic. Why should it matter if you meet your sisters (or brothers) in a support group setting or at a party with music, dancing and your favorite beverage? I spent many years when I worked with Renaissance being serious and discussing weighty matters. Now it’s time to party. Where are my party girls?
What do you think about the value of going out to places like The Laptop Lounge? Log in and express your views in the comment area.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Angela Gardner is a founding member of The Renaissance Transgender Assoc., Inc., former editor of its newsletter and magazine, Transgender Community News. She was the Diva of Dish for TGF in the late 1990s and Editor of LadyLike magazine until its untimely demise. She has appeared in film and television shows portraying TG characters, as well as representing Renaissance on numerous talk shows.Subscribe
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