Not Just A Crossdresser
I often have people say to me, “I’m not JUST a crossdresser.” This statement is fascinating to me because on one level I get the point. You’re trying to tell me that you are contemplating transition, in whatever form that takes for you. And you’re trying to tell me that, though clothes are important, it’s much more important that you innately feel like a woman inside. Got it. But, I would be remiss if I didn’t call your attention to the fact that using the “just” in that sentence (and believe me, there’s usually a great deal of emphasis on that small word) implies that there is something inherently wrong with being a crossdresser
Now, before you all start writing in and justifying yourselves, please hear me out. Regardless of your personal identity, most trans-people born male-bodied experimented with the concept of crossdressing at some point in their lives. And, many even found it erotic for a period of time (and some transsexuals have admitted to me that they still get a thrill each time they have the opportunity to go out presenting as female; this novelty usually fades quickly once the full-time living experience begins). My point is, if we all want people to consider each of our identities as valid and worthy of respect, then we all have to be willing to respond in kind. The trans-community is in the midst of a flame war of words—some folks take offense to being considered a part of the community, others feel the community is not inclusive enough. I love language and appreciate the nuances of feeling that a particular label fits or doesn’t fit each of our situations, but let’s be careful not to create a sense of hierarchy among the community that perpetuates “in-fighting” at the expense of other members.
At the risk of sounding like I’m ending on a virtual group hug, there’s nothing wrong with identifying as a crossdresser, transgender, bi-gender, gender-queer, gender-bender, transsexual or any other label that feels like it fits you the way a perfect outfit should!
Contact Dr. Angello through her website.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul
About the Author (Author Profile)
Michele Angello, Ph.D. is a clinical sexologist with offices in Wayne and Doylestown, Pennsylvania. Dr. Angello works with clients to help them reframe feelings of guilt, fear, shame, embarrassment, and even hatred around sexuality, and encourage feelings of acceptance, responsibility, joy, and sharing. She specializes in issues around gender and sexual orientation.Subscribe
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