Not Here in River City, Part VI: Stay Safe!

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V

I intended to write this final part of Not Here in River City immediately after Part V, but because I talk here about ways transgender and nonbinary people can resist and keep themselves safe at a dangerous time in an out-of-control world, I thought it prudent to take my time and think things through thorough. I tell you, considering how fast things have been changing in the US, it’s been difficult to keep up!

It’s no secret transgender people in many nations are under attack, and short of countries which punish homosexuality (and by extension gender variability) by jail time or by execution, the United States is arguably at this time the world’s worst country in which trans people can live. I hope my previous five articles in this series have persuaded you of that and convinced you that we don’t know how far this systematic dismantling of protections for minorities and persecution of trans people will go. It has already grown worse since Part V was published here on TG Forum in early June. It’s appropriate to be concerned. It’s appropriate to be frightened. I know I am! It’s necessary that we survive and prosper. It’s foolish to pretend this cannot affect you and that it is likely to become worse. If you can be identified as trans or nonbinary, you can become a target. This concluding article is about what we can do to remedy the appalling situation in which trans and nonbinary people find ourselves, and, most importantly, how we can keep ourselves and our families safe.

I understand, and please, you understand that we each have the right and the responsibility to look after ourselves and our friends and loved ones and also the right to stick our necks out as far as we wish. I’m not out to tell you what to do; my intent is to talk about some ways in which you stay safe and ways in which you can resist. I want you to do you.

Everyone’s situation varies for any number of reasons which I won’t belabor here. Some of us are drawn to activism, and some of us aren’t. Some of us are closeted, and some of us aren’t. Some of have active lives in our target genders but otherwise live cisnormative lives. Some of us are nonbinary. Some of us are visibly trans in public, whether we want to be or not. We come in all stripes and flavors, and how we deal with the current situation will largely depend upon our identities, our gendered roles in society, our visibility on social media, our legal identities, and the ways state and national governments decide to treat us. Again, what follows are strategies for keeping you and yours safe and ways to resist, not suggestions. Feel free to pick and choose, blend, or devise techniques of your own.

Protective Strategies

Pretend it isn’t happening

A significant portion of the American population is in deliberate denial about the realities of the current political situation and the way it affects their lives. This strategy often works in ordinary situations. Life goes on. We get up and go to work. We dine out. We go on vacations. We complain about food and gas prices. But these are extraordinary times. This year, quite a few people living in denial or MAGA bliss are finding their spouses kidnapped by Federal agents and whisked away to god only knows where or are detained and deported themselves—and some are American citizens. Business owners and especially farmers are finding large portions of their workforce missing. Americans are not only being denied abortions and gender-affirming care, but are discovering their medical benefits are being reduced or denied.

My advice: This is not a good time for this—I hesitate to call it strategy—of denial. Things are almost certainly going to get worse. Please don’t disregard or deny what is happening.

Purge and deny

Transgender people are infamous for periodical purges. We’ve been doing it forever. In our desire not to be trans, to not disappoint out loved ones, in our disgust about who we are, we divest themselves of our literature and clothing and swear never to do it again. “Me? A crossdresser? Don’t be silly!” Sometimes we don’t relapse, but we’re most likely to find ourselves seeking information and building a new wardrobe and circle of trans friends. It’s like stopping smoking: some folks have done it dozens of times.

My advice: Know yourself. It’s expensive and resource-wasting to repeatedly burn or discard your belongings, only to eventually rebuild. Instead of purging, consider finding a safe space in which to store your stuff—in a rented locker, perhaps, or with a trans acquaintance. And if you must purge, please do your best to give your stash to others or donate it to a charity. Don’t be needlessly wasteful.

Lay low

Out of concern for their families, their friends, their jobs, and their social standing, many trans people play their cards close to their chest. They do their best to appear to be cisnormative, keeping their paraphernalia out of sight, not going out in public crossdressed (except perhaps far from home), and avoiding been seen with trans acquaintances. Some carry this to an extreme, keeping even their spouses and other family members ignorant about their identity and activities.

This is an effective strategy, so long as the secret is not discovered. When the cat comes out of the bag, however, the results can be and often are devastating. Humiliation, divorce and loss of custody of children, job loss, and gossip are often the result. I have seen it happen.

Of course, this need not an all-or-none strategy. Reasonable caution can go a long way, and usually does. We are able to select the degree of disclosure and visibility with which we are comfortable.

My advice: If this is the way you choose to handle being trans, don’t sabotage yourself. Don’t make a furtive trip at midnight down the street to “mail a letter.” Carry your identity documents with you when you go out, especially if you drive. Be honest with the police if you are pulled over, and above all, remain calm. Don’t keep your stash in the trunk of your car or under the boards in the attic, especially when you are keeping your family members in the dark. In an attempt to deflect from who you are, don’t disparage transgender people in general or any specific transgender person in particular. You may make an exception for Caitlin Jenner.

Be open

These days, many trans people make no secret about who they are. They disclose when necessary, almost always in careful and considerate ways. They don’t hide their belongings and they don’t deny being trans. In ordinary circumstances, this is a commonsense strategy and a comfortable way to be yourself. Remember, though, these are not ordinary times. The federal government is asking for and getting names of those who have been treated for gender dysphoria by physicians and clinics and compiling lists of who we are, how we vote, how much money we make, how we feel about Donald Trump, and whether we are born citizens. If the time should ever come when we are rounded up just for begin trans (keep in mind the construction of massive incarceration facilities for “illegal aliens,” it would be healthy not to have an asterisk beside your name on that list.

My advice: We have no way of telling where this is going, and when. If there should ever be a time when it is politically necessary to head for cover, delete your social media accounts, police the internet for written information and images of you and request they be taken down, lock your trans stuff away somewhere ICE agents won’t find them should you ever find your door blown down at 6 am one morning. For those who have transitioned, this might mean getting rid of all paperwork and history of your previous gender identity. And even now, it’s a good idea to remove facial recognition from your smartphone when crossing borders into and out of the United States. Some people I know are even wiping their phones before traveling internationally.

Resist

What is happening is tyrannical, and we must resist. And yes, just as we can be out to varying degrees, we can resist in ways that keep us safe.

Be out and proud

Being who we are and not giving a damn who knows is perhaps our most powerful tool of resistance. Each of us, I daresay, influences many people over the course of our lives, in general making them more sympathetic toward us and by extension other trans and nonbinary people. In a sense, we are all ambassadors of goodwill.

My Advice: Take protective measures to keep yourself safe.

Of course, many of us can’t or don’t dare be open about our identities. This is absolutely fine. We are entitled to construct our lives in the way we best think fit. But we can nonetheless resist.

Vote

Our 47^th President told his MAGA supporters that they will never have to vote again, and he meant it.[i] We can only hope that will not come to pass, but considering Fearless Leader’s megalomania and venomous nature, his ongoing desire to serve a third term, a Senate and House of Representatives that will not oppose him, and a U.S. Supreme Court that empowers his lunacy, it’s entirely possible that our democracy will go away.

My advice: Vote. I might ordinarily say vote early and often, but considering the claims of Republicans that there is widespread voter fraud (there isn’t; it’s all about VOTING fraud, most of which is perpetrated by Republican officials), I’ll just say vote early. And vote every time, not just at the “important” elections. Learn about candidates and choose those who align with your interests, but unless and until the right is taken away from us, vote. Vote, vote, vote.

Additional advice: Consider running for office yourself—city council, school board, you name it.

You can resist without taking risks. Here are some examples.

Fund

If you’re unable or unwilling to participate in direct actions, you can still make a difference. Nonprofits and action groups are always in need of financing. A little money can go a long way when it comes to our freedom and right to exist. If you don’t want to risk having your name attached to a donation, you can donate anonymously.

My Advice: Dig deep. Your freedom to be you outweighs whatever your church thinks you should tithe. Every penny counts, but the more pennies there are, the more the boost. Consider making a donation once a week or once a month, and don’t skimp. Choose organizations that don’t spend most of their money for overhead. Make the fight for your rights your highest priority.

Write

Consider writing letters to your state and national senators and representatives. Politicians walk a fine line between their party and their constituents, but they never forget who voted for them and know that losing voters will jeopardize their chance for re-election. At some point a threshold will be reached and who knows, Republicans might become more afraid of their constituents than they are of Trump & Co. And you needn’t limit your input to Congress and State Legislatures. Write in support of institutions that stand up for trans people and express your disapproval to those who don’t. Let the local school board, the town library, and the Chief of Police and Sheriff hear from you.

My advice: Be polite. Be respectful. But be firm. Make your feelings and beliefs known and ask directly for support. Perhaps you’ll get it. You can use words already written by others, but please know that what comes from your heart will have greater impact. Handwritten letters to politicians generate more concern and attention that machine-generated letters, so perhaps use a pen for your most important letters.

Work a phone tree

Phone trees provide a way to interact with voters anonymously. When a call goes out, callers at private homes or at a central office work their way through long lists of phone numbers. Respondents might be rude or dismissive or might agree with your message, but importantly, some voters who are undecided or are planning not to vote will be persuaded to vote after all and to vote in a way consistent with your messaging. Of course you might need to give a name, but it needn’t be yours; you can make one up.

My advice: Don’t let respondents get your goat. Don’t argue with them. If things aren’t working out, you can just disengage and move on to the next phone number on your list.

There are a hundred other things you can do to fight oppression without putting ourself at risk. Use your imagination.

Resist openly

            If you so choose, you can engage in open resistance. How and where you do this is up to you. Certainly, some situations, like joining a feisty demonstration with high police presence is more of a risk than participating in something like the recent No Kings protests.

Aside from open protest, there are lots of things you can do to support those who are on the front lines:

• Visit your local, state, and national legislators and make your feelings and needs known
• Provide transportation for voters and people going to and from protests
• Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper, if you are lucky enough to still have one
• Donate books to libraries
• Form a local political group
• Start a nonprofit
• Raise funds for existing nonprofits
• Speak truth to power

My advice: Do any or all of these things, but keep yourself as safe as possible while doing them.

Conclusion

No one knows what will happen going forward. Certainly, with time, this will blow over. No one is upset about Nero or Napoleon these days. But of course we’re concerned about the short term. Donald Trump is an aging, demented, out of control, angry man on a terrible diet. God only knows what medications he is on and how high his blood pressure is on whatever he is being given to control it. He is not entitled to a third term, but he will almost certainly seek one, and he may succeed, as to this point he has been given leeway by Congress and the U.S. Supreme Court to shred the Constitution. Vice-President J.C. Vance, with his low-key Mid-June visit June to flyover state Montana to seek counsel Rupert Murdoch and Fox News Executives suggests he is seeking the network’s backing should he invoke the 25^th Amendment to remove Trump from office,[ii] so Trump might be well on the way to being deposed.  Anything can happen. The Republic could fall. Trump’s reckless policies and the turn of the entire Western world to the right could lead to global war, and that means the possibility of the use of thermonuclear weapons or other tools of mass destruction. Planetary weather disasters are bound to get worse as the planet warms, and they will arrive harder and faster due to the Trump administration doing everything it can do to hasten climate change—and thanks to the dismantling of NOAA and FEMA, we are unlikely to receive adequate warning or compensation for damages from the federal government.

I can only say hold on to your seats and enjoy the rid—if anything comes down the pike that you can enjoy. Resist. And keep yourselves safe. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Notes

[i] https://www.c-span.org/clip/campaign-2024/user-clip-trump-in-four-years-you-dont-have-to-vote-again-well-have-it-fixed-so-good-youre-not-going-to-have-to-vote/5126048.

[ii] Baragona, Justin. (2025, 12 June). JD Vance flew to Montana for secret meeting with Rupert Murdoch and Fox News executives. The Independent. https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/jd-vance-murdoch-fox-news-secret-meeting-b2769061.html. Accessed 29 July, 2025.

Category: Transgender Opinion, Transgender Politics