Ladyboys, Ladyboys — why, oh why?
Ladyboy drugs and robbers customer in Phuket”; “Ladyboy gang robs two men in Pattaya”; Ladyboy in Bangkok injures boyfriend with knife in jealous rage”. Quite frankly, if I’m honest, it’s all too easy: soft journalism; curiosity about the “unusual” (and I use this word reluctantly) mixed with a hint of sex always sells. Everywhere, every time, and not just in Thailand.
The number of times I’ve seen these sort of headlines here, and not just in the papers local to the destination in question; headlines which then get picked up by one or two of the nationals and, occasionally, the international press. Negative, negative and negative….
As we all know, TG people are easy targets for sensationalism wherever we are in the world; even, as I wrote in my last article, here in Thailand where latent transphobia is still rife.
Notwithstanding every sector of society, every grouping, whether it be social groups, sports groups, religious groups or the like, always, always have a small percentage within their ranks who get involved in or cause trouble, don’t follow the rules, disobey laws (extremists, fanatics, whatever we want to label them), it seems society is able to overlook most of the excesses, forgive the troublemakers — most of whom, in any event, have no real excuses for their behaviour.
Yet, and without trying to defend the behaviour of the Ladyboys mentioned in the headlines above, I do believe most of us TG people do have grounds or reasons for occasionally rebelling against society as a whole, do have extenuating circumstances to make us focus on looking after ourselves and only ourselves.
As a starter, consider a selection of the circumstances in which Ladyboys, typically, have to grow up:
**early peer pressure, both conscious and sub-conscious, to “gender conform”: from parents, relatives, teachers, friends; pressure that is counterproductive when the gender issue is intrinsic to who we are
** internal confusion about their gender identity; initially, at a young age not knowing why they are different, but aware enough to know that they are
** fear of discovery of their true selves — both by themselves (accepting one is not of the gender to which one has been ‘’assigned” is, to say the least, traumatic); plus maybe, more importantly in most cases, by others close to them or even society as a whole
** often the confusion, the internal struggles, especially in adolescence, causes many Ladyboys not to do so well at their studies; and even if they do, there is already a realisation that career opportunities (unless the person in question comes from a rich enough family) will be confined to the technical or even lower ranks, rather than the professional
** adolescence is hard enough for anyone even if they don’t have T issues to contend with; so multiply the problems faced by ‘’normal’’ youngsters 10 fold and you might get some sense of what it’s like for T’s
I can go on but let’s move forward.
So, what happens?
** Ladyboys isolate themselves into small groups of kindred spirits; identifying with others who share their love for all things feminine; clothes make-up and so on; others who will not ridicule or mock; others who understand
** emotionally and academically they continue on some sort of roller coaster; trying to deal with, usually, un-accepting parents; indifferent, often aggressive, peers; concerned teachers
** “career paths” do not figure high on their agenda and many leave school early or drop out even if they do make Technical Colleges or University
** once no longer in the education system, many drift (when they can get employment that is), into relatively low paid shop work, hair salon or beauty centre work — until the lure of bar work, massage shops or night club work and the significantly higher remuneration, (but only provided, of course, that sexual favours accompanies such work as a supplement) becomes too hard to resist. [I’ve deliberately ignored mentioning cabaret work here as, although the general media perception is that there are thousands upon thousands of beautiful, successful Ladyboy performers, those really successful show girls are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg].
** regardless of the higher earnings, selling their bodies for (often, unusual) sex is as repulsive to most Ladyboys as it would be to you and me; all they want to be is the woman they should have been; yet it is also a means to an end — many girls use the money to save up for hormones, breast implants, GRS — provided they don’t get distracted by the need to take drugs to get through their relatively sordid, daily lives
** sadly, often the spiral swirls that much faster, the vortex deepens; more drugs, more money needed to support the habit; the more the money spent on the habit, the less towards their goals of becoming “real’’ women
** add to this the ravages of age and drugs when the Ladyboys are no longer such objects of desire as they used to be; punters become lower end, prices drop — money’s almost gone, opportunities arise to steal from drunken, often abusive or perverted punters (Editor’s Note: johns), and so it goes on…. and on… and on….
Well, you are thinking: all sounds too familiar. Christine could be talking about any prostitute; anyone, anywhere who sells their body in any country in the world. Yes. Agreed.
But here in Thailand, there is no safety net, no social security; no government handouts, limited social support specifically for TG people (after all, they’re all fully integrated into society, right!?).
Don’t get me wrong; I repeat, I’m not condoning any unlawful act committed by any TG person, but I think it’s important to look under the facade sometimes and understand, reflect on “Why? Oh…, why?”
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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion