Kim’s Adventure Time

| Mar 27, 2017
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My earliest desires about behaving and dressing as a girl came around age three, but between then and the time I entered sixth grade, it was all fantasy and no reality. I had two brothers, so I did not have a sister to confide in or dress me up in her clothes. And I was not bold enough to try on my mom’s things. Well, not until I turned 13, anyway. At age 12 I was cast for a role in a school play and part of the role involved wearing a pair of girl’s brown tights. My mom bought them for me and I tried them on. I knew immediately there would be a lot more of this kind of activity later, although I had no specifics in mind at that point. Alas, I got very sick and could not be in the play. My mom took the tights and put them in her drawer, and I did not see them again for a long time.

When I was young I could not put my finger on what exactly was going on with me. I knew I wished to be a girl and I also knew I had been born a boy. I wanted to dress as a girl and behave as one also, but I was astute enough to realize in the world I grew up in, that I would have to wait a long time before that would come to pass. At some level I thought of myself as a crossdresser, and would continue to do so until I reached my early thirties. Only at age 30 or 31 did I gradually realize I am gender dysphoric.

One day when I was about 12, I was outside in our yard and a neighbor girl was there. She had long brown hair that was braided into pigtails, and she was wearing a plaid jumper with a red cotton top underneath. She wore matching red tights and black Mary Jane shoes. Apparently I stared at her and her clothes a little too intently, because she suddenly blurted out “You can’t dress like me!” And I knew she was wrong and that I would eventually prove her wrong. At that moment I just didn’t know when or how.

When I was a young teenager, it dawned on me one day that my parents and brothers would often be out of the house at work or doing other activities, which presented an opportunity to try on some of my mom’s things. And so one day when the rest of the family was out for a couple of hours, I sensed a rare chance to cross the line for the first time. I was nervous about someone getting home earlier than expected, so I only remained dressed for about five minutes that first time, but my mom’s blouse, jean skirt, leather shoes and pantyhose felt wonderful. I knew I would be doing that a lot more, and that eventually I would develop the courage to step out in public. The idea that I was a female and that there was no stopping me, took hold that day.

My grandmother had been expecting me to be born a girl, because I already had two older brothers. So before I was born she knitted me a Christmas stocking, just as she had for my brothers. Mine was bright pink though, as everybody thought I would be a girl. My parents didn’t put the stocking away though. Every Christmas they brought it out and I had a pink stocking instead of the brown ones my brothers had. This was the world I grew up in.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul


About the Author ()

My name is Kim, and I'm a non-op transsexual. I love to correspond with others who have an interest in feminine beauty, gender illusion, and related subjects. My goal is to look like the genetic girls in the J. Jill or Sundance catalogs, so I keep myself as realistically feminine as possible. I go out as Kim very often and delight in being a woman, with all that it entails! My height is about 5-7 and I weigh about 145 lb. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a female, and that desire is intense. Given that fact, I'm a TS rather than a CD/TV. In general, I am more of a daytime mall chick rather than a nighttime party girl. Other interests: I'm like the Energizer Bunny with regard to exercise!

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