Imagine

Commitments mean something. Before we make them — and promise the world to a “significant other” — we need a clear head and complete readiness to open our minds, reveal our strengths and weaknesses, and be 100% willing to do everything we can for a happy future and a fulfilling life.

If we fall short on this . . . imagine the consequences, think!

At one day in the distant future, like after 30 years of marriage, you could come to learn that your wife has been having a longtime affair. In such a case, what thoughts would fly through your head? What would you do? Who would you turn to for help? How would this impact your life, your kids, and the grandchildren? You put 100% into your marriage and despite what you did, she destroyed your marital foundation and you were clueless.

You would be distraught with feelings of lies and betrayal. How could she have hidden this atrocious long-term love affair — right in front of your eyes? Of course you would be hurt, outraged, distressed and perhaps physically ill. You would not stop wondering how she got away with it . . . and how could you have been so inapt, emotionally disconnected, not to find out?

Imagine . . . you were so secure in your life . . . just sailing through the birthdays, anniversaries, birth of your children and grandchildren. You imagined all was well until the virtual hand grenade hit your marriage.

Imagine. . . She did not even have the courage — or decency — to tell you the truth. She set you up for a life full of lies, and you believed it all.

Imagine! Where are you now with the real truth? Why didn’t she disclose before marriage she was having an affair with her married ex-lover for 3 decades? And you found out because your friends all suspected it for years. You’d feel like a heartbroken fool, who certainly did not deserve to be disrespected, betrayed and lied to from the one you chose to love — till death.

Imagine you would then discover that this outside lover was one of her old boyfriends and had always been present in your 30-year marriage. Your family was your life . . . yet now that you discovered the truth, how could you go on and have an intimate relationship with someone who was once the person you trusted the most . . . but now the one you distrust the most — with horrible but valid reasons? From now on, you would not be able to believe anything she says, because she broke your vows, your trust, your hopes and dreams. Since you would be so much older now, was it best for the family to stay together and just forget what had really taken place? Let her continue her long-term romance with that lover and look the other way?

Good luck trying to let it go, ignore your own feelings and accept that she loves him more than she ever loved you. You might be able to disassociate your emotions with your wife and engage in sex acts. But you know that the emotional attachment was gone . . . that love, trust and truth had left your marriage.

How could you make her love you more than him? How could you change her and get her to realize the pain and anguish you feel in spite of fears that you may never get over the betrayal of your marriage?

Imagine all those consequences . . . before it is too late, before you try to live with a lie in your own future; you try to live with only the hope that your life partner will never find out the truth.

Now — fortunately — all those terrible imaginations are not going to become true, if you decide to be honest about your weaknesses, events in your past live, secrets that can become disastrous — before making the commitment, whether it is all about crossdressing, or any other passions or dark areas in your life that you think you cannot ignore.

Imaginations are powerful. They can hurt — but they can also help. They can represent the difference between happiness and hopelessness. They can make all the difference in the world.

Imagine. Right now. And set the sail for a happy future by being true and honest. You will not regret it.

Cheers,

Dee A Levy, MA
The Cross Dresser’s Wife Our Secret Lives (Hunt)
[email protected]
[email protected]

Tags: crossdressing, featured, opinion, partners

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion