| Feb 27, 2012
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This month we’ve had Valentine’s Day, President’s Day (in the US), and Groundhog Day (held in my home state of Pennsylvania.) Next month is St. Patty’s Day. April we have Passover and Easter. This week (as I type this) is the beginning of Lent, which means last Tuesday was Fat Tuesday. Holidays all, of various seriousness.

What does that mean to us in the TG circle? Zippo. Nothing.

Why bring them up?

We as a species mark occasions as special. We call them holidays, anniversaries, whatever. Some mean more than others. My wife and her mother take Lent VERY seriously. That means I have the dietary restrictions inflicted upon me until Easter. Some people really love or hate their birthdays. For me, Halloween is my favorite holiday and is when I mark my “second birthday.” After all, it was Halloween when I re-emerged as a woman.

Happy Halloween!

I’m not the only one who marks two birthdays, as many t-girls do the same.

What makes a day special? Something major having happened, of course. We mark anniversaries of major events in our lives, for good or ill. Badly wounded soldiers mark the day they were hurt as “Life Day” as that day they should’ve died, but were granted more life. We mark weddings. I still can tell you the exact day my ex-fiancé left me.

We in the TG community, for better or worse, are women. We care more about little things like anniversaries and such (yes, I’m generalizing and stereotyping, but stay with me.) In general, we tend to be more sentimental.

When it comes to some things, I am very sentimental.

I remember birthdays of dear friends and call them. I mark days important to me, such as anniversaries of deaths, the solstices and equinoxes. And I celebrate important days of my journey as they come along.

Other things I couldn’t give a damn. Christmas? I’ve worked retail too long. Thanksgiving? Hate it.

Someday soon, there will be an important day, perhaps one of the most important of my life. Sometime soon, I will tell my life about my other life — about my life as Sophie. The lies will end. This will be a rebirth of sorts as my life will never be the same. She may never forgive me.

I’ve planned meticulously for this (and I discuss this on my own blog if you care.)

Imagine: No more lies. Sophie in the open. I expect to be thrown out and to continue my journey from there. Hormones. More.

Can You See the Real me?

But what if she accepts me? What if she says “I can deal with this?” That’s the one thing I haven’t planned. My brain is still trying to sort that one out.

OK, back to my stereotyping from earlier. Y’ know, how women are more sentimental and all? Well, my wife is an exception. She is the least sentimental person I’ve ever met. She marks two personal holidays — our anniversary (and Burger King is good enough for dinner that day!) and our daughter’s birthday. She is absolutely pragmatic. Not a romantic bone in her body. Non-religious holidays are a waste. We are opposites.

So when that day comes — how will she react? Will she cry? Or will she just be angry?

I can’t plan for that either.

So when that day comes, there’s a good chance that the night will find me in a bar somewhere, toasting this new “Sophie Day.” Alone.

And red eyed from tears.

We are opposites.

And it’s a holiday, after all.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion

Sophie Lynne

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Comments (6)

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  1. Sophie Lynne Sophie Lynne says:

    @ jamier: my blog is I hope you like it!

    @ Jessi: thanks for your kind words! Alcohol and I are old frenenies and for me at least it’s cold comfort. I want to live as a woman, not die of liver failure ( as others in my family have.) I guess the question that needs asking- would I be willing to die a slow painful death rather than be exposed? I know my answer, but can’t answer for you. Hugs!

    Thanks to all for comments! I like to think that people are reading! 😉

  2. sophie, i wish you the best. i understand your pain all too well, and i really appreciate you making so public what you are experiencing. in my life situation, i cannot begin to even try to do what you have done so far, so languishing in hell with an alcohol addiction is the best solution i have come up with so far (that, of all things, i can get away with; go figure). anyway, i hope whatever you want and need comes your way. you are truly an inspiration and a beacon of hope.
    xoxo “jessi”

  3. chrissytime chrissytime says:

    Hey Sophie, firstly great pics, you look awesome(really like the helloween outfit, very SHAAAZAM!!!) and also, I’ll toast you whatever day you come out. We all need to support each other here, it only takes one ‘off-comment’ to bring any of us down and I think we all know the pain of that. Especially when dressed as men, to hear people taking down TGs makes me wanna weep (I cope better when dressed). I recently had to endure my mother talking about gay men as ‘those types’, got me very upset but I didn’t say anything, ‘cos we don’t do we, trying not to bring the crosshair onto ourselves can lead us into all sorts of irrational behaviour. Be strong and ‘stick to your guns’,this is the rest of your life, if you’re gonna do this, be proud. It’s gonna hurt but there are so many of us rootin’ for ya’s babes! Let us know how you get on. The very best of wishes to you Sophie 🙂
    Chrissy xx

  4. jamier jamier says:


    Where can we read your blog?


  5. scalesman scalesman says:

    I often wonder how differently I would observe various holidays if I could do it en femme. I would love to try the many holidays that may call for a nice outfit, etc.

    I truly do not care much for celebrating birthdays…least of all my own. I am not big on gifts…getting them myself or getting them of others. I am not a scrooge but over the years I have become somewhat ‘anti-Hallmark’.

    Again, I wish you great luck in your planned outing with your wife. It does seem that you are opposites of each other and they do say that opposites attract. I also think that two people bring different things to any relationship

  6. says:

    Call me on that day I will toast you . Then not to long after that you will be able to toast me

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