But Daddy…

This column comes from a question asked by my 8-year-old daughter today (Saturday, August 06, 2016). I was taking her and my Wife to the airport, as they going to Europe for a week: first London, then Denmark, then Sweden.

I am not invited.

You see, dear reader, Wife’s middle brother (let’s call him S) is an Opus Dei Catholic. He has never met Sophie, and doesn’t want to do so. He also doesn’t want me around his children (I mean, being around TG people is far more dangerous than being near certain priests, right?) Remember, the Pope recently called Transgender people the “annihilation of man.” Also, his mother said I was an “abomination in the eyes of God.”

In any case, here’s my letter to my Daughter. The handwritten version of this is in a journal I’ve kept for her since she was born, which she will receive on her 18th birthday.

Dear Daughter,

This morning, I was taking you and your mother to the airport for your flight to London. The fact that I am not going on this trip came up. You asked me why I couldn’t go with you. I said “Ask your Uncle S.” Your mother said “I couldn’t afford to fly all three of us there” (Which is also true, but not the true reason.)

You then asked your mother “Why does Uncle S hate daddy?”

Your mother said something along the lines of “he just doesn’t understand transgender people like we do, and he doesn’t know how to explain it to his children.”

And your mother was right . . . in a watered down way. Now, here’s MY answer.

Daughter, there are many kinds of people in the world. People are born with different skin colors, different eye colors, hair colors, genders . . . it’s an infinite variety. Some people are born homosexual. And yes, some are born Transgender. Like your father.

Just as there are many different kinds of people in the world, there are different beliefs and attitudes. Your mother and I are doing our best to raise you to keep an open mind; to judge people by character alone. We are trying to teach you right and wrong — because there are people who don’t really know the difference. And there are people whose beliefs can cause harm to others. As examples, I give you radical Islam, which destroys lives with bombs and terror; radical Christianity which brought things like the Crusades and Salem Witch trials; and Anti-Antisemitism, led by a “born again Christian,” which killed six million Jews in just a few years.

Your uncle belongs to at least two groups of people who hate everyone who is not a white American — religious zealots and current Republicans. To him, I am a threat to humanity. I am sick and evil. He believes that I’m “going straight to hell.” And for those reasons, he doesn’t want his children to have knowledge of people like me. Given that your cousins are home-schooled, and then sent to expensive conservative Catholic prep schools, it is VERY unlikely that they will ever be exposed to people different from themselves until after college. And by then, their opinions MAY be stuck in “15th century.” Meeting someone “different” like me might wreck that homogeneous world view.

“Different”

I know that you understand who I am, and I’ve heard you talk to others about what transgender means. You make me very proud.

In many ways, I worry about how my living my Truth will affect you. Will you be teased at school? Will you eventually be embarrassed by me (more than the usual teenage embarrassment about parents)? Will you hide the fact that I am your parent?

I guess that goes back to how your mother and I raise you. We can’t help what others say. But we can try to help you know that people who Hate are Wrong, and how to defend those who can’t fight for themselves. Or who aren’t there.

Daughter, I can’t help the way I was born, and I’m sorry that my Truth has done to our family what it has. I hope that by the time you read this, you will be a confident young woman. And that you will know that I am very proud of you, and will Always love you.

Love,
Your Father

Tags: featured, Identity, opinion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul