Break Down the Walls
Walls have been erected around towns and cities throughout history, either to keep people in or marauding animals and enemies out. There are a number of ancient wall remnants still visible to tourists throughout the world.The most prominent is the Great Wall Of China. It is 13,000 miles long and visible from space. 400,000 people are reported to have died during its construction A Great example of a complete walled city is Quebec City in Canada, the wall was started in 1660, and encloses the whole city. It now stands complete as a significant feature of the city and is a tourist attraction. However, more walls exist in the mind than those built on the ground.
In more modern times one wall worth mentioning is the Berlin wall. It was built in 1961 and torn down in 1989. It was erected by the East Germans, during the ‘cold war’ between the Soviet Bloc and the West. The wall divided Germany into two parts, East and West. Although they were essentially one people with a common culture, the wall tore them apart. Families were separated and socially it created a great upheaval and hardship. Access from East to West was through gates controlled by the military. The wall didn’t just divide a city, it divided a whole country. During its forty years of existence it created two different cultures. It was finally torn down as a result of foreign political pressure. To the absolute joy of the inhabitants. This wall caused a great deal of social and emotional distress, some of which still exists today.The urge to be free resulted in a large number of people attempting to scale the wall and get into the West, many were shot while trying. A large piece of this wall is in a museum in Montreal.
Segment of the Berlin Wall in Montreal.
Walls are created by people. Not only are they built with bricks and mortar, or barbed wire, humans build walls within themselves. Racism, zealotry, xenophobia, and sexism are a few examples. People look down on those who are disabled in one form or another. Even the way people behave, which may include clothing or hair styles, and their general demeanor. There was a time when men in the services were scorned. Rudyard Kipling’s poem, Tommy, illustrates this. Snobbery is a significant wall.
Crossdressers, transsexuals, or transgendered people bump into walls all the time. Often when it is least expected, such as when a parade develops into a riot and people get hurt just for being who they are. One of the biggest walls is one they create for themselves when they are out and about dressed as their alternate gender. Walking down the street, in a shopping mall or sitting in a restaurant, individuals worry about their acceptance by the people around them. Are people staring at me, or worse, am I subject to ridicule? Religious fundamentalists can be a cause for worry as they have built high walls for themselves. Then there are people who are ignorant of what or who we are and treat us as unworthy of any consideration.
To overcome this anxiety one needs to have pride and confidence in one’s self. This confidence takes a while to develop and may never be fully achieved. One has to venture out into the world as often as one can. Go out with friends, but try to avoid large gatherings as this draws attention to the group.Try not to sit or stand apart, mingle wherever possible. The more exposure one gets to the world in general, the more confident one becomes. (In the early days of my dressing I remember traveling in a car and thinking the whole world was looking at me.) Join an LGBT group. Go to functions, become comfortable within yourself, then eventually you wont give it a second thought, you will just go out on your own.
Physical or physiological walls leave long lasting scars in the mind; some people never break free. As a crossdresser of many years, I still have thoughts about passing when I go out. It doesn’t stop me going out but the caution is still in my mind.
There is hope however. I have borrowed a comment from the Reader’s Digest as my conclusion.
“What eventually wins out is not the desire to wall, but the impulse to break through. The piece of wall in the museum in Montreal was a trophy because it was a barrier that surrendered to a human compulsion greater than that which built it. It reminds us of the inevitability of our better natures and in this the constant thrum of hope. The walls will continue to rise and we will continue to tear them down.” — Readers Digest 2012
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Category: crossdressing, Transgender Body & Soul
About the Author (Author Profile)
I was born in England in 1935 and spent fourteen years in British Navy starting in 1951. I married in 1958 and stayed that way for 51 years. My wife gave me 3 sons all now in their fifties, only one knows of my little pecadilo. Four grand children all in or completed University. I emigrated to Canada in 1968. Worked for the oil, gas and power industries until I retired at 66. My first wife died of cancer in 2009. I was introduced to Gail by a mutual friend and we have been together six years and married for three. Gail was aware of my crossdressing before we married and supports it wholeheartedly with some rules. I have to be Paul some of the time, which is fair. I am a Libra and I own it.Subscribe
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