Am I Trans Enough?

The question in the title is something I’ve wrestled with for many a long year. And I’m not sure I have the answer yet…

Let me explain: I believe that all of us who have ever crossdressed are on a journey.

We may not realize this or, even if we do, we don’t really know how long the journey will take and/or, importantly, where it will end.

Three simple scenarios

To demonstrate what I mean, let me outline three basic scenarios, as I see them, in respect of our crossdressing: some of which overlap and/or blur together at the edges:

1. For some CD’s it will be a short journey until they reach their “plateau,” where they stay for the duration. This may apply to those who like to partially crossdress, maybe just in lingerie and/or nightwear. They simply stay at home and admire the fabrics and enjoy the feelings of wearing women’s underwear. There’s no wish or intent to take their dressing any further;
2. For others it’s a longer journey which continues, sometimes erratically, sometimes unpredictably. Here there is a clear progression from trying on a few articles of clothing to being “fully” crossdressed with make-up, wigs and accessories. Going out, meeting others and, maybe or maybe not, having some basic feminization treatments or procedures: think waxing, laser hair removal, nose or Adam’s Apple shaving surgery and the like.

The time staying crossdressed gets longer and longer and the frequency between bouts shorter and shorter.

In such cases, some argue the crossdresser is no longer a crossdresser but a Transgender woman, striving to release the female within but never quite wanting or managing to fully let her out;

3. Then there are those who, perhaps when they started their journey, thought they were simply crossdressers. Yet, some years later, they have transitioned to live a new life, full-time as female, with some or all of any desired surgeries completed. The final destination of their journey has been completed and they live their lives as the woman they were, clearly, meant to be.

As I said, these scenarios are very simplistic and there are many other shades or permutations. I’m only using my own experiences to try to rationalize and explain the journey.

Progression forward (and backwards)

Moving from scenario 1) to 2) may well happen without much thought and any planning, it’s a natural progression for some. Some may go back from 2) to 1) as your crossdressing is for you own, private pleasure.

Yet, moving from scenario 2) to 3) is more problematic and often the cause of much anxiety and concern. Yet, it can be accomplished without surgical or chemical (hormonal) intervention. Without surgery or hormones still leaves an opportunity to revert to 2) if things don’t quite work out. Post-surgery (that is genital surgery), obviously, any reversion to living in scenario 2) is very difficult.

Having said all this, it is easy (for me at least) to see why a possible move from scenario 2) to 3) is so daunting, so frightening and is so much cause for concern. And, as a result, some (like me) can’t find the trigger to finally take that leap….

The social impact of moving to scenario 3) on family, friends, lovers and partners, of changing back and/or forward should not be underestimated and there is bound to be some loss of friendship and relationships along the way. There are a myriad of other factors to be considered also and this may include employment prospects and longer-term health. Yet, if you want to be your authentic self, there may be no choice.

Confusion and uncertainty

For me personally I have been on the cusp of going from 2) to 3) for some years. I am a natural “fence sitter” I know.

But something has to give. Age isn’t waiting for me and every day which passes gives me less time to live as ME.

So, in an attempt to help rationalize my thoughts and help me find the ideal solution, I wrote a book entitled AM I TRANS ENOUGH? which explains more about my conundrum…

Despite this, it’s too early, though, to say if I am any the wiser!?

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Tags: crossdressing, featured, opinion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul