A First Time for Everything

All of you know that Halloween is just about the most important night of the year for a crossdresser but it can be any night. For many of us it is the night when we make our first foray into public as ourselves.

Months of preparation and anxiety all leading up to what really amounts to only a few magical hours of trying not to trip in our heels or do anything else that will embarrass us. All that work and toil for a little bit of time in the limelight, it almost doesn’t seem worth it until you step out at the club or the party and then at that moment it was all worth it.

That’s how it was for me the first time I went out. I had the luxury of not going alone and I had lots of help with hair and makeup. I spent over a week making a dress that I thought was perfect however in retrospect was not all that good, and my makeup was pretty amateurish at best. The first time is usually like that though. Your first time is magic and it happens so fast that it looks like watching a train pass by up close (a blur). That night everything happens so fast and you don’t know what to expect even though it has played over in your mind a thousand times.

The first time I went anywhere other than a gay bar was the night I saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert in the theater. A wave of anxiety hit me just before leaving home. Several of us were going all dressed up to watch the movie for about the fourth time. We decided to go as a group just to be safe and fully expected to be turned away or something. We didn’t know what. The realization hit me that this would be the first time I had gone into public to a regular place where there were sure to be regular people with regular jobs and regular lives. What would they think of a gaggle of queens toddling around in six inch heels and hair for days? The thrill of seeing a movie about us while in drag was just more exciting than whatever some halfwit might say to us. It turned out that we were not frowned on but treated like celebrities. People wanted to know all about us and everyone wanted their picture taken with the drag queens. All because we took that first step.

Make your preparations and just go even if you are terrified of that first step and think you’ll never pass. You probably won’t pass or even come close but each step you take gets you closer to the day when going out will be second nature, and believe me when I say that you will look back and laugh at how you worried over nothing. We live in an amazing time in our country when seeing someone dressed other than their born gender is no big deal even in some small towns much less in a big city. We have made great strides in the workplace and greater ones are still coming but it all starts with that first step — so make sure it’s in a nice pair of heels.

All my love,

Porja

Tags: crossdressing, featured, first time, opinion, Out & About, passing

Category: Out & About, Transgender Body & Soul