When is the right time to dress up? Are you sure?

You’re spending a nice ‘sick day’ at home — dressed up in your favorite women’s clothes, shaving your legs at the kitchen table, and who walks in? Your teenage son and his best friend. Now what? Your son, the one you are supposed to mentor, love and protect — finds you crossdressing, masturbating, and viewing he/she porn. What is he supposed to think? Have you planned for such an event? I suggest you do if you are a father  — with a clueless wife and have children — especially teenagers. They have their own irregular hours. Didn’t you think that one day one of your children would find you? And what were your plans? To wait until you got caught and come up with something? Dressing up for Halloween in mid summer? Really? Your son will never be the same. Never. What an unhealthy way to find out — no child at any age should be exposed to this problem without proper age appropriate guidelines — and who says they have to know everything anyway? Whose responsibility is it to protect and guide him? You are the one he looks to to model appropriate behavior, seek advice from. Hear about the birds and the bees. Your son will learn quickly so much more than the birds and the bees. You have just forced him to deal with a difficult issue — which he does not understand. The life long condition of crossdressing is hard enough for most adults to understand, let along a pre-teen son or teenager. This level of narcissism related to crossdressing is dangerously high. And the one who will suffer the most: your son. He will forever be changed — not only does he now know that you are a crossdresser — the vision of you dressed up ‘having fun’ will most likely be deemed as one of the most difficult moments of your son’s life. The vision will never go away. There is no way to go inside of his mind and take it back –it is implanted — as if in stone. What goes through his mind? Is dad gay? A transsexual? A freak? What if I turn out to be like him? What about mom? Does she know? Now all of my friends will know . . .

“I hate him” thinks your traumatized young teenage son, confused himself about sex, etc. Now he is really lost, confused, possibly angry, and whom can he talk to? His friends? Not a chance. Your son’s life just turned upside down by the most important relationship in one’s life — the same sex parent. His sense of trust most likely will be shattered.

As a mother, may I ask — do you have a plan? Plan A? Plan B? Plan C? Or are you so arrogant to think that since you’ve never been caught in 20 years you won’t get lazy when you have the desire to crossdress? Some of you must be. What are the rest of you thinking?

As a social scientist, it deeply concerns me that incidents like the aforementioned not only could happen but HAVE happened to too many sons because your life long condition overshadowed your judgment and you just became your son’s worst nightmare.

Please do not ignore this if it happens. Definitely discuss this with his mother and get him into therapy. School counselors will help because they realize this is likely to impact your son’s grades. Most likely he will be anxious, maybe angry, definitely confused. Many crossdresser’s wives have shared with me that when our sons find out — they ‘close up’ –don’t want to talk about it. The healthy approach is to get him help, let him know you are still his dad, but even better, now that you know this COULD happen to your son — PREVENT IT! Find a way. Never allow this to happen to your son. Crossdressing has the potential to be a very dangerous and harmful act. This qualifies as one of the worst case scenarios that unfortunately for some of your children/sons —  its reality. Obviously, it is highly unlikely you are going to stop crossdressing but you’d better think twice before you assume you are and will be alone during your ‘stress release’ time.

Blessings,

Dee A. Levy
Founder non-profit: Crossdressers Wives
The Crossdresser’s Wife — Our Secret Lives
www.crossdresserswives.com

Tags: crossdressing, featured, spouses

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion