What Price Femininity?

In this era of PPE (i.e. Please Pay Extra), questionable fiscal and monetary policies — combined with ongoing labor, commodity and supply chain issues — have combined to give TGForum readers in the United States our first meaningful and sustained exposure to general price inflation since the 1970s. We are all learning some timeless and painful lessons, among them: You can’t spend your way to prosperity and social justice; not everything can or should be outsourced (sometimes, imports can be hard to come by); and, as the origin of the phrase “not worth a continental” will attest, money often isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

The more plentiful it becomes, the less it is worth.

When I began as a young adult to shop for my own female wardrobe, I quickly discovered how much of a financial burden this could be, especially when I already had a full closet of daily menswear to maintain. At the same time, I would occasionally hear women mention how much easier men seem to have it from a dressing perspective. From the standpoint of convenience and expense, I freely recognized the truth in this assessment. Privately, though, I considered that such advantages were more than canceled out by the uninspiring options I ordinarily had to choose from, compared to the dazzling, wonderful styles available to the average woman.

As I gradually assembled a full daily wardrobe for feminine living, this became even more apparent. It was obviously necessary to acquire items not just for casual wear, but also dressier items for work and special events, a modest complement of shoes and accessories, and outerwear for colder weather. And this doesn’t begin to include bedding, bath linens, window dressings, or similar home treatments, once a decision is made to coordinate one’s home design accordingly. Even for one who does not aspire to anything like an Imelda Marcos consumption level, the price is still high.

Recently, I was inspired to tally the total expense involved in putting together an outfit for an average casual day, both from a male and a female perspective. I expected to see a difference, but the numbers are very interesting nonetheless. From head to toe, the apparel associated with a casual outfit I now wear on any given day totals roughly $275, compared to roughly $150 for similar male looks. (NB: The latter number reflects the retail prices your columnist last paid pre-transition; this may need to be adjusted upward, due to the fiscal and monetary realities that have emerged since January 2021.)

But of course, outfit preparation does not stop at merely the apparel. There’s also accessories, as well as the expense involved in maintaining one’s person. This includes everything from jewelry, handbags, scent, cosmetics, salon treatments, and other intangibles too numerous to calculate. However, a basic stab at the retail numbers in my (reasonably frugal) case leads to a current rough total of $850, as opposed to the $150 pre-transition cost.

The subtotal difference is staggering: $1,125 now goes directly or indirectly into my appearance on a given day, well in excess of the $300 that it used to be. But while money obviously matters, other things matter too. As the old saying goes, when you look good, you feel good. Compare the overall appearance on a casual day. Seriously, is it even a competition?

I remember as a child in the 1970s, when women began regularly wearing pants and other more quasi-masculine styles. This was an unintentional result of the rapidly fluctuating hemlines of the middle and late 1960s; many women understandably sought out pants as a less costly alternative to an endless wardrobe refresh (particularly in that period of accelerating price inflation). Even so, they still never adopted menswear as a general rule. They knew what was superior even then.

At a fitness club, the price differential between wearing a tee and shorts, compared to a fitted, brightly-colored athletic top and sports bra with leggings and accessories is significant. But the overall presentation is vastly superior. And I will even say it’s more comfortable and functional in that context. There’s little to no chance of snagging a fitted garment in a fitness machine or contraption. I no longer find myself weighed down by loose but sweat-soaked fabric. Occasionally I get chatted up by fellow club patrons and staff, which never happened previously. That’s an intangible that can’t be priced.

Even a hated mask is manageable for a one-off case, such as when a high pollen count causes allergies to act up, or during a salon appointment for a facial — e.g. situations that essentially rule out wearing makeup in public. While I no longer use them, I still own ones that are wonderfully feminine in style, such as pink with white polka dots, or a soft blue plaid pattern. Obviously, these were more expensive than a simple surgical face prophylactic, if longer lasting. But had I wished to dress like a surgeon every day, and treat the general public like prospective lepers, then I would be preparing to enroll in medical or nursing school. (“Caring professions”, indeed.)

Wearing a hat for me previously meant a baseball cap, and sometimes a fedora during my Indiana Jones phase. Today, it means something much more appealing and fun, as my above photo will attest. (Full disclosure: The hat ultimately more than paid for itself, by winning the event contest that it was specifically purchased for. Obviously, making wardrobe prep a paying proposition can’t be hoped for on a normal basis.) Then as now, accessories serve a key role in any outfit.

No contest.

And at night, men’s casuals simply do not compare to costlier female nightwear (pajamas, robe and gown, or similar options). Think of Grace Kelly’s nighttime ensemble in the Alfred Hitchcock classic Rear Window (1954); she looks every bit as regal as she became. There’s something about such styles that just command reverence.

I recently attended a neighborhood holiday barbecue wearing a light blue cotton tank top and a white eyelet skirt. At a ladies’ Sunday luncheon, I wore a navy maxi dress with a vivid bright color pattern. In addition to feeling beautiful, I was also quite comfortable, both physically and emotionally, and my attire was openly complimented. While taking satisfaction in personal flattery is always a risky business, it is certainly nice to feel like my efforts are recognized and appreciated.

The point is simple: The expense and time involved shopping and selecting an outfit on a given day, is astoundingly more expensive compared to how it used to be for me — in both real and nominal terms. And yet, I don’t mind at all. I certainly do not complain about the expense or inconvenience. Men and women are different, albeit equal and complementary to one another. If one has made a conscious decision to embrace feminine standards of dress and appearance, then that means doing what needs to be done.

One can never ultimately buy happiness, and material objects — literally and figuratively — cannot save us. Even so, some extra (albeit manageable) expense and attention toward one’s outward appearance should be accepted and embraced as part of this process. Enjoy what you love, and love what you do!

Editor’s Note: Stylish attire can be had for discounted prices at T.J. Maxx, Ross, and the clearance racks at major department stores. Like to make a comment on the advantages of bargain shopping? Login here and use the comment area below.

Tags: fashion, featured, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Fashion