Weak or Strong?
Nikki Nicole
How do you classify yourself? Are you weak or strong? Based on what information do you draw that conclusion? Why do I ask and why do I care? We’re weak at times and strong at others. This isn’t about momentary bouts of weakness or gender-assigned weaknesses. This is about portrayal and perception and how we either encourage or discourage portrayals and perceptions.
Let’s consider terms that are applied to crossdressers and transgenders that are less than flattering. In fact certain terms, handles, descriptors and monikers can be down right insulting. I know that I may be treading upon thin ice with this post but I’m going to venture out onto the frozen lake and chance that the ice will hold my weight.
The term “sissy” seems to be a mainstay, a standard menu item, a moniker that has adhered to our type. Webster defines “sissy” as: a) an effeminate boy or man; b) a timid or cowardly person or c) a little girl. Based on the definition (definitions may be overrated) are we weak? I will say that it’s not consonant to be accused of weakness when we are strong enough to admit who we are and to practice who we are, whether on a regular or occasional basis.
Am I wrong? I know many of you. You are strong and your strength defines your character. In fact, your strength makes those around you stronger. We leverage strength and fortitude for our collective benefit. So why use a derogatory term to describe yourself when by your actions such a term could not be farther from the truth?
To take this full circle we can agree that in another context “Sissy” is a name. We all know at least one famous actress with that given name. It is also a fleshed out version of “Sis.”
Look, we all have “sissy” moments. I experienced them approximately a year ago when I vacillated about whether to come out or continue to hide. Yes I was a “sissy” then. I will premise that since coming out, braving the turbulence of being in public enables me to forget those “sissy” moments. I don’t consider myself one of those who fears unjustifiably. Every one of us who braved the societal elements to be who we are, to disregard the pitfalls of crossdressing are no more sissies than a chicken is a rooster.
Yes, I understand that the “sissy” thing is tied to erotic fantasies and submissiveness. I do worry (maybe worry is a strong word) that we paint ourselves with unflattering graffiti and place ourselves low on the totem pole, last in the pecking order — classifying ourselves as something below other humans. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. This is your life as certainly as day follows night. I’m expressing an opinion about perception and reality.
By putting ourselves in a compromising position we risk being permanently labeled in a way that does not benefit us, any of us. You are beginning to sense where this is going. What we do, how we act, what we say, impacts not only you but all of us. Adversity comes from many directions and it arrives sometimes unexpectedly. I’d suggest that we not encourage it to come around or to stick around any longer than necessary. And I would dissuade anyone from inviting adversity to share your life — be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!
Take my words for what they are worth. Maybe I’m stirring the pot. The pot needs stirring from time to time. If my words engender a snippet of reflection then the expenditure of cyber ink was worth the effort.
Love and hugs,
Nikki
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Active member of the unconventional girl community; I love to write -- check out my Facebook page! I am usually out and about on weekends with girlfriends and almost regularly once a week on a weeknight.Subscribe
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