True Transsexuals (Part III!)
I only started blogging about the theory of True Transsexuals because it happened to someone very close to me. She started believing she was transsexual, and was headed down the transition road when she didn’t need to be.
I confess: it was me. For years, people have either told me they thought I was TS, or said I gave off a “TS vibe”. After hearing this for so long, I bought into it. All my friends were doing it, so why not me? It stands to reason: if all my friends were TS, couldn’t I be too? After all, we had so much else in common.
Well, no. Not necessarily. It was group think, and I’m not the only one to whom it’s happened. One member of a circle of TG friends will get on the hormones, and before you know it, everyone else is taking them too.
Outside of work, my life revolved around transgenderism. I spent hours in chat rooms, writing articles at TGForum, getting dressed up and partying as Ronnie. It seemed like the only thing that was holding me back was the issue of work. And once I was laid off that barrier was removed.Â
So, I started thinking of transitioning, planning on finding a new job where I could be Ronnie, started a bit of research into hormones, and I started letting my hair grow out.
The only thing that saved me was meeting a wonderful woman, falling in love, and marrying her. She opened my eyes to the fact there was more to life than my gender. She cued me in to being able to have fun without wearing a dress and big hair and makeup. She got me out of the immersion cycle I was in.
So, how do I know I’m not TS? After all, just because one says one is not, does not make it so. Well, admittedly, it could be true. I’m not 100% positive. But, I am about 98% sure.
Go back up two paragraphs. See what I wrote? “…without wearing a dress and big hair and makeup.”  That’s what my gender issue comes down to: Clothing, and more specifically, trying to look good in that clothing. As shallow as it sounds, I wouldn’t want to be a woman full-time unless I could be a foxy woman. It’s about appearance for me. And for someone who really is TS, I don’t think that’s true.
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About the Author (Author Profile)
Ronnie Rho has been writing for Transgender Forum since May of 1999. One of these days, she'll get it right. She's been described as the "world's most famous recluse," but only by people who don't know her very well. She is unmarried, and lives in Cincinnati.Subscribe
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I practiced a lot being a female i sooo like doing it i even wanted to wear a girls gym suiti didn’t really really care who sees me i just don’t to be boy period if i was in another state where i can go to school dressed up as a girl i would deffently go dressed up totally as a girl and wouldn’t be shame of it that is the way i see it. I would work hard and save up to have a sex reasignment surgery i can live with that on halloween i dressed as a ballerina really cool i’m just dying to have an opperation no questions asked. When i went to an elementary school the girls wanted me to play with them i did and enjoyed every minute of it.
Chill out, Sky. It was an accident.
As I recall, I did erase one from you, but you were agreeing with me. Why would I want to delete that? 🙂
Whoops! I should say – Ouch! I think it is quite easy and not any challenge at all to be smaller than Life while acting Big and proceed to push one’s own Temporary position of authority around by pushing people around, by erasing other people’s comments herein when they do not happen to match what one wants to hear.
So go ahead, erase again! I am sure the Triple One is watching you closely to reward you with your own measures and deeds sooner or later!
Love and Light,
SkyOfQuakertown
I associate with a lot of other CD/TS/TV’s myself. Although none of my girl friends want to transition, many, myself included, have used estrogen to enhance our breasts and soften our looks. I know all of the girls have followed the advise given on this site at http://www.3dcom.com/tgfs/docs97/tmed9710.html on the proper use of hormones.
I no longer think that I would ever want to make the jump, but I would not give up my 38B’s for anything. It only required’s the wear of loose fitting shirts to hide my breasts when not enfem, and slightly padded bras to really look good when enfem.
Transition…? I recently had a face lift and I’m sure on some levels my wife wonders if this is as far as I go. The lift took ten or so years off my ‘face’ let alone my sense of self … so thus I wonder too (hey, I’m in my late fifties). On the other hand I ‘look’ good as a man, ironically I’m not as in sync with ‘pretty’ with my female self. On the other hand, the absencce of congruent female anatomy at times I feel very deeply. Thus I come from a different existential platform than one who can transition with more anatomical flexability (the norm rather than an exception?). If only gender were as simple as sex!?!
Where did you come up with the term “immersion cycle”? I can’t find reference to it anywhere on the web with respect to transgenderism or anything else. I have spent only limited time in the Trans scene. I like a variety of queer folk in my life, and lots of straight ones, too. I have a story similar to yours and MelissaK’s. My outcome so far is very different. I had been a closet queen for years. Hiding and purging my wardrobe, I ventured outside rarely. I knew what I felt but was restricted by my family obligations but mostly by my own fears. Then I got sick.
I struggled for several years to regain my health and realised a couple of things. My time on Earth was limited and I had better make some decisions about what things were really important to me. So I began exploring TG with the help of my partner. I was fully into androgyny when I decided to make the transition to womanhood. I came out in my workplace, to my MDs and friends. I got a referral to a gynaecologist that treats transgender people both male and female. I went on hormones with supervision. My name change is partly complete. I’ve a drivers license in my new name and a bank account, too! I present myself to the world everyday as female. I feel free to be myself for the first time in my adult life. I haven’t lost anyone as a result of my actions. The people that loved me, still do.
I’m still uncertain about GRS. I have a new love interest that happens to be a gay male. If that turns into something and he wanted me to keep my outie, I might just do that.
Transition is a risk. You need to have courage to do it. But why not go for your dreams? There’s no way you’re getting out of this alive, so make the most of the time you have.
Ronnie,
What an interesting thread. About 12 years ago I was divorced and found myself free to deal with long suppressed CD/TS issues, and I soon had transistion in mind. I stopped though. I reasoned that I was no looker, that my transition would cost me a good job, and my transition would be very hard on my family members who were coping with a series of deaths that had left me the oldest family male – the patriarch. So, I married a wonderful person who knew of my TS issues, and together we finished raising my daughter and her son and guiding some young cousins through the adjustment of dealing with their dad’s death. It seemed the right thing at the time.
In those 12 years my wife has been nothing but loving, but she has edged away with her TG support and so I have solo’d through a lot of TG anxiety filled days in recent years. So, here I am age 52, a bit of a mess again, trying to straighten myself out and to like my whole self again. This CD/TS stuff didn’t stay away or lessen just because I was preoccupied taking my daughter to debate tournaments, my son to volleyball, and I was having a beer with the straight guys after work. I don’t regret my choice – I still think it was the best thing for my daughter and other family members.
But, IMHO when you do step away from the “immersion cycle” and try for the “regular life” – keep your TG indentity a balanced part of that life. I think that was Sallee’s point too. If your life ends up “too regular,” your TG identity could end up back in the closet like mine did. Then, you’ll be needing your therapist’s phone number, and your TGForum dues paid so you can remind yourself you aren’t alone.
Ronnie
Great post It is a good thing you came toyour senses before the knife. I have never considered myself a TS but as with you I was pretty immersed for awhile into theTV TS CD seen and was told I should go for transition. I thought about it but I would have to spend all my time infront of mirrors and would just miss to much life trying to be a full time T girl. I got away from the seen for a bit and got my senses back in order. Sure I still cross dress and enjoy a day shopping or a night out partying with the Drag queens(damn those girls know how to party). I found that if I spent several days or a week full time it became normal and it lost the buzz. I have seen so many girls that transition and they looked great prior to transition but after they ended up looking like masculine women mostly because they gave up on makeup and big hair. I wish them all the best and hope they are happy but I think a lot of justjumped to quick with out realizing the long term Any thanks for the blog…Sallee
Whoops…I think I accidentally deleted some comments while cleaning out the spam. Sorry! I did save this one from Regina:
Ronnie
When I was 39 I was 99% sure that I was going to become a post-op ! I coulds
see nothing else from my viewpoint! An auto accident put me into the hospital
and a knee operation was done. Less than 6 months later I ended up in the
hospital for a gallblader/ apendix operation. It was supposed to be a simple
three hole operation and ended up being a major 8″ cut! A nurse pointed out
that was almost the same as the Cecerian section. She had no symtathy for me at
all! Now as I am in my early 50’s I am a non-op Transexual! I wish I was 100%
passable even though most of the time I get Mam’ed even when not made up.
Walmart always sends me to a womans dressing room to try on any clothing, Never
have they put me in the mens dressing room! My Wife/Other part of me has stuck
by me and loved me and been there for me we have a stronger bond than ever! I
have just in the past 2 months told my grown children about my Transgenderism
and have worn a nighty to cook breakfast in front of!
 them just yeasterday. I do not see me getting surgery at this time, but who
knows. 12-13 years ago I was so sure I was going to have SRS. I guess the
Hormones are working as the old addage goes ” Women are allowed to change
their minds!” Ronnie, take life one day at a time and enjoy the love of your
partne. Ya- still might be a transexual, just non-op. Only time will sort
everything out! We each have to decide who, what and where we go on this trip
and with our lives ourselves, No one can do it for us! Good luck to all of us!
May us all find happieness, love. Joy and understanding! Regina