True Transsexuals (Part I)
The first time I heard this term was about 5 years ago.  It made me angry.  The label smacks of elitism. Of course, in context, it was used with a heaping dose of elitism. The speaker was criticizing people who, in her view, were not really transsexual. They were just playing at it. Or something.
I don’t remember, or maybe I didn’t know at the time what exactly set her off; but she was very vindictive towards other TG’s.  And since that time, I’ve bristled whenever I’ve heard the term.
But, in recent months, I’m beginning to wonder if there isn’t some truth to the idea of a “true transsexual”. We’ve probably all known someone who declared they were TS, but in the back of our minds, we thought, “Uh….okay. I don’t see it.”  I have, anyway.Â
We may be right in doubting them. But are we right in voicing those doubts? It depends. Is it a close friend? Are they charging blindly toward a cliff? Do they bring it up? Or do we?
If it’s a friend, and you’re gentle about it, I think it’s perfectly okay to let them know your reservations. After all, you may be saving someone from making a big mistake.
But, if it’s someone you don’t know very well, it’s probably best to keep your mouth shut.  And if you’re talking about people in general, it’s even better to completely shut up. After all, how do we know if someone is TS or not? Have we walked a mile in their heels?Â
To presume someone isn’t TS because we don’t get the “TS vibe” from them, or we don’t think they’ll pass, or because they’re not moving at a speed we think is appropriate, or taking the path we think is right, does not mean someone is not transsexual.  There are as many variations within the TS community as there are individuals. And I seriously doubt there is one standard, Benjamin, or otherwise, that fits everyone.Â
And of course, this goes the other way, but, that’s a blog for another day.
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Ronnie Rho has been writing for Transgender Forum since May of 1999. One of these days, she'll get it right. She's been described as the "world's most famous recluse," but only by people who don't know her very well. She is unmarried, and lives in Cincinnati.Subscribe
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am one those ladies who was insolated and isolated for a long time…was even scared of other types of tg ppl. having lived in stealth for so long as a primary post op and now re-emerging with a new set of values and regards for myself and other types of ppl I know now everyone has the right to their own terms with their persuit of happiness. bigots are no fun regardless where they come from. I am having a tuff time trying to find resources to locate proper medical/legal and social networking its not easy in spite of all the tg info sites that seem to be an endless circle for this gal. Guess i am so tired of all the bias and discrimination i see and am so glad that i was able to purge that in my personal view and now wish to rejoin the community with pride and purpose. IF someone can help with directing me for unbiased health care, legal services and support networking in MISSOURI pls do this gal a big favor. thanks…peace, love and joy…Babe.
Thanks Goddess!
Finally somebody with common sense and wisdom to tell it like it is.
I agree 1000%!
I think many a poor t-girls will go down and suffer because of ignorant/harmful peer pressure which does nothing but to destroy other people’s dreams by attempting to force people who are not either ready nor empowered by circumstances to take positions that are simply not possible in the present.
I am very happy and satisfied that I do validate my Self first and if you are a t-girl please do the same to your self because there are some mighty mean people out there who will do anything to impose their way, their pace, their stuff upon you and all it amounts to, it is a cheap power-tripping which reveals how low and base a human being can be when they think they have the right to take another human being’s right to choose their own pace, their own way to get to the same place.
I love the fact that you have written it out and without holding anything back.
BLESSED BE!
Love and Light,
Sky Of Quakertown
(Skyofquakertown)
https://www.tgforum.com
Ronnie,
I knew someone who went to Thailand for her GRS. When she came back, she insisted on telling me all the intimate details of her journey. When I tried to say this was TMI or otherwise indicate I was uncomfortable with this, I was called a prude. About 6 weeks after she got back, I received an e-mail that in one sentence said she did not know me very well because I would not reciprocate with the same level of detail. In the next sentence, I was told she KNEW I was not a “true” TS because she knew me so well. (I haven’t figured that one out yet, either.) This and other factors made it obvious our friendship was turning toxic. After being insulted like that, I ended our friendship.
Labels are nice but one size does not fit all. Like you said, you need to walk a mile in their heels.
See you around the Queen City sometime?
Jenny
PS – Our new TG support group in Dayton (MVTGA) is doing well. Our web site link is on the TG Forum Community Center page. Check it out.