Hi lovely people, this is my first post on TGForum. My name is Steff, I’m 51 years old, AMAB and a transgender woman, living in Belgium (EU). I’ve been in psy therapy now for almost a year now. I have not medically or socially transitioned yet. So here I am, still in the very beginning of my journey. And now for the real reason why I’m posting. 😉
The attitude of most people here in Belgium towards transgender issues is neutral to quite positive. Hey even our vice-prime-minister is a transgender woman, well respected! Anyway, I started to notice that lately the transgender theme has become a popular conversational topic during social gatherings.
Yesterday evening was New Years’ Eve of 2021 and my wife and I were with some friends. And of course, at one point the discussion steered towards the transgender topic again. Usually I’m very articulate during conversations, but when the transgender topic is discussed, I feel a cringe inside myself… and I feel blocked. I’m unable to think, and feel my face flushing…
I think that my dysphoria is evolving, whereas a year ago, dysphoria was primarily triggered by physical traits, voice and being overweight. Now I experience more and more social dysphoria and – to be honest – it’s killing me inside.
I feel a strong urge now to come out to the whole world – no matter what. But another part of me is holding me back…
So this is it. Thank you for any thoughts and support!
Steff
