Transgender Transition

[carla1212]

Well done Annette McD, it takes a lot of guts to take these steps. If you think about it it’s not just admitting who we really ‘are’ but also recognizing how we want to relate to others because you’ll find people will interact with you very differently now that you have unleashed this feminine energy. And that includes a new way of loving and being loved, so more than anything I wish that you’ll find love and happiness with someone who genuinely appreciates you!

[Annette McD]

Thank you Carla, I’ve been genuinely happy lately. After finally giving up on the denial, resistance, and guilt.. I have lost 1,000 lbs, mentally. I have no shame or embarrassment and it’s a great feeling. Thankfully I have a few incredibly supportive and caring friends, I really couldn’t ask for much more… The future is not so bleak and depressing anymore and I actually look forward to it now.

[Proudgirldoll]

Hi my dearly people,

Love from India. I am Sangita starting to come out as a transgender from male to a female. All along I knew I was a female. I am out here to ask you people a series of questions. The first of few would be

How to get a feminine tone and body.
Food supplements recommended

Love
Sangita

[Savana]

I am 54 and ready for my next step of HRT, I am scared, I am Vet and don’t how really how to start.
Cost is a huge factor for me. I need maybe someone to walk with me. I don’t want to die like this, in this skin. I am new at this forum stuff and thought i should try. There is more to my story, i just need to know if someone cares for reals.
Thank you.
Savana (Girl Name)

[Annette McD]

Hello friends, Annette here.
I’ve been seriously considering an orchiectomy lately… I feel it’s a reasonable 1st step. I definitely have no desire for another child and after almost 15 years of trying to make them disappear… I’m about 99% positive of just not having them anymore…
I guess it’s been a thought for years now. I’m “blessed” to have huge balls but all they do is make it incredibly hard to hide, and just wearing what I want to is such a task.. not to mention painful. The inguinal canal is next to impossible for anything over 20 minutes at a time…
I want to keep my penis, but don’t want the whole “undercarriage” if you will…

Anyone with experience or input on this? Thanks!

[Annette McD]

Hello friends, Annette here.
I’ve been seriously considering an orchiectomy lately… I feel it’s a reasonable 1st step. I definitely have no desire for another child and after almost 15 years of trying to make them disappear… I’m about 99% positive of just not having them anymore…
I guess it’s been a thought for years now. I’m “blessed” to have huge balls but all they do is make it incredibly hard to hide, and just wearing what I want to is such a task.. not to mention painful. The inguinal canal is next to impossible for anything over 20 minutes at a time…
I want to keep my penis, but don’t want the whole “undercarriage” if you will…

Anyone with experience or input on this? Thanks!

[Christinainside]

I am seriously thinking about it. I just have to get past feeling like becoming the woman I know I am inside is selfish because it could/would hurt people I love. But I really really want to go full on transition! I want rid of the two things that make me male and grow beautiful breasts that affirm who I have always been. Just burried under a facade.

[Christinainside]

Hey everyone. Christina here and new. Well I will be Christina here soon hopefully! But anyway I have a question. I plan on going to the therapist and the class to start HRT. Terrifying yet exhilirating. I have done tons of research into transition and have a couple questions. First question does taking the phytoestrogen pills and creams help breast development and if so is it worth it. Lastly is do you believe if someone gets an orchiectomy that it litterally removes what makes a male male? For a couple reasons I want the orchie I was just curious of yall opinions

[Christinainside]

Hey I am right there with you. I created a facade my whole life and thought I hated me for being bi or whatever. Then when all the walls came crashing down and I started to peal the layers I went from thinking I was bi to gay and figured out that I was never comfortable with guys for a completely different huge reason. Because I was born a female and she isnt ever going to go away until i make the body match the bitch inside! It is very scary but exhilirating at the same time! So I dont think you are anywhere near alone with those thought processes. I wish you nothing but the best and the best of luck with your transition girl! Looks like were both joining the womans club around the same time!

[Wiwkooo]

Start the transition or suppress my feminine side? (I am 30yo)

I am a 30yo “male”. In my whole life I tried to live as a normal man. But now I cannot suppress my feelings anymore. I feel that I have to write openly about all my feelings, thoughts and the different aspects of my life. I really need your opinion about my situation.

I know that probably is too late for me to become to a passable woman (when I do my make up I do not like the result, because I look like just a transvestite, and not a nice one). But I cannot live anymore as a man. Nobody knows my secret. From outside I am a ” successful and handsome guy“. But I dream about a totally different life.

In the last 6 months my life changed a lot because I moved to a different city where I am alone. And it was also a turning point for me that I turned to 30yo. I thought a lot about my life and my future. I know that the transition takes a lot of effort and time in such age, but I already know that I have to do this.

Now I know almost nothing about how to “transform” to a woman. Cosmetics, make up, hair, fashion are all new for me. This is also true for the fashion. I tried to be masculine in my whole life and did not take attention for feminine things. But nowadays I am really interested in everything regarding beauty care. I think if I immerse myself in this world I have a chance to be as feminine as possible (I also think about that I should attend to beauty school).
I think I need a professional support to be as feminine as possible without wasting more time. It would be great that this professional was also a transgender herself. I want to find my female version with her.

Hormones after 30.
Do the hormones work after 30 year? I heard that orchiectomy is also a good option. I have heard the maybe both option is the best in such age.

Relationships and sexuality
I had few girlfriends in my life, but to be honest I felt that they were like friends for me.
I am virgin. I tried to have sex with a woman last year (first time), but I felt no sexual feelings and my penis didn’t not got hard. We tried it few times, but nothing happened. After that I tried to question my sexuality. I was too afraid to try with a man, but I bought a dildo few months ago. I love to use it. It really strengthened my feminine side and showed me what I have to do to get sexual feelings. I crave to ride this dildo few times a week and more and more think about with guys.
To be honest I never imagined that I have sex with a woman. Since my childhood I only imagined myself in a submissive position.
I think I have to write about my masturbation also.
My penis does not bother me. To be honest when I masturbate I think that my penis is a guy’s penis and not mine. Nowadays I feel that I should try with real penis.
I can suck my penis. My body is really flexible thanks to the lot of trainings since my childhood. Sometimes I suck my own cock. I really like it and nowadays I also feel that craving for to suck.
After masturbation I almost everytime feel shame and I do not like myself (how could I do that? I am sick?). I tried to not masturbate for a month. I felt more and more feminine and I thought more and more about guys. In the last few months I try to only masturbate with dildo without jerking. I can reach orgasm with touching myself and what was really strange for me that I feel no shame after masturbation. So I tried to focus in such masturbation. It helps me to connect with my feminine side.
(I am really afraid of first sex with a guy. What if I do not like it? What if that all my masturbation with the dildo and selfsucking are only fetish? But I think that is more likely that I will love with real thing. Moreover I am a 30yo virgin and I think this is also not normal.)

I do not feel that I am gay. I feel that first I have to be a woman. I only can imagine myself with a guy if I look like and live as a woman. In the last few months I think a lot about guys. I feel that if I start a new life now maybe I have a chance look to like a woman and find a guy. I think I also suppressed my feelings toward guys..

Fetish or Transsexualism
Earlier I thought that this is normal for a teenager, but now I am 30yo. Then I thought that this is just a fetish. But in more and more field of my life I feel that probably I would be happier as a woman. What would you ask me regarding this? I think I tried to convince myself that “this is just a fetish”, because in that way I does not need to face with the real deal…

The advantages of late transition
What do you think what are the advantages? I always try to see the good things and it would also help me.

I have written all my thoughts. Maybe too openly. But I think I had to do this, to help to solve my situation.

Vivien

[WildeGeist]

I been on HRT now about a Month. I am all in.

[carla1212]

Hi WildeGeist! Please keep us up to date on how you’re feeling as the hormones begin to take effect! I’ve never done it, maybe too afraid. But I think about it endlessly & it would be so helpful to hear what the transition is like for you!

[WildeGeist]

Well, more and more since I turned 50 I was obsessed with having to get into my Tzoi mode. Ever since I was raped in the Army in 1986 my sort of bi-polar feelings of being torn between a man or a woman really became noticeable. Prior to that I did ever since very young prefer to be around women; never liked men much. I was not into dolls or that, but did have an infatuation with makeup and loved to watch women smoke for some really odd reason I will never know? In the Army I had all kinda of injuries besides MST. The Sergeant that raped me shoved me out of an airplane when I was sleeping and I was hit in the face by the plane on the way out and hit Earth at about 350 MPH causing multiple hernias. I had four surgeries. I also was stabbed with a bayonet through the top of my Achilles tendon down the back of it and into my heel all 6 inches of blade. The Medics left a wad of medical packing under the tendon which became a solid golf ball like cyst over time making it impossible to walk on my left leg for almost 4 years. Finally PT & I “popped” the cyst. Unfortunately this caused an internal fungal infection that mainly stays in my left leg and left kidney. This deep seated fungal infection is in my bone marrow even. And about 2-3 times each year causes Cellulitis in my foot/ankle/lower leg and occasionally infects my scrotum causing one or the other testicle to swell to the size of a Kona Avocado and look identical as one. Massive painful swelling called Hydrocele & Orchitis. Many times I was told they might have to amputate my hanging parts and I had better get to know my dress size ( which I already knew ) The Department of Veterans Affairs will NOT treat any of my Military injuries nor this now chronic infection because they say that would aid & abet Claims for Service Connected Disabilities which the VA then would have to pay me a pension for. Its odd they say this when I do get 20% SCD for my nose, one knee, and the scar caused by the bayonet wound? But they will not treat. So recently since COVID my Cellulitis returned. I went to ER they gave me a Prescription but I have no money to fill it. I begged the VA to mail me the Antibiotics and Oral Antifungal. The VA thought hey, if we ignore dude he will die and we can be done with him. I filed criminal charges against three VA workers. The VA retaliated by sending Secret Service into my place. But the VA plan backfired. The Secret Service upon seeing my condition sent a medical team to me. So now its a battle between the VA and FBI/SS. Meanwhile back on the farm I still have no medication. The medical team could only give me a massive shot of antibiotics; they can not fill a prescription. So to save my life I talked to KIND Clinic and said I need my scrotum hanging parts amputated. To do this I have to be on HRT first, then they can cut things off. I would Blog this and even YouTube & Twitch it if not for my electronic devices are all dead from my elbow knocking over a water pitcher. The ONLY electronic thing I have now is a laptop I found in the dumpster and put Linux on it. Something is wrong with the Motherboard so it crashes every couple minutes. Very hard to type fast enough to post here for instance. If anyone is in the Austin Texas area or can mail any old computer with a camera ( this broken R400 Thinkpad has no camera ) I can make just about anything work. I have quite a story to tell and want to share with Y’all in the hopes it may help with your own decision to move forward.
At this point other than this infection I have to cope with for now, I have no regrets. I wish I had done this immediately when I first felt inclined to do the HRT. I am 56 now and feel a little uglier than I used to be. However my ideas on Gender have hardly any bearing on my Sexual Orientation where I guess its more common to have them united. I have always loved the woman’s world. I never liked the man’s world though I lived it to the most extreme; SOCOM Army Ranger, Commercial Diver, Electrical Power Lineman/Cable Splicer ( Trouble/Transmission ), Professional Motocross Racer, Cyber Efficacy Engineer, Punk Rocker, etc… Soon after I started the HRT the only noticeable changes in my mind so far are I put on weight around the belly fast. My breasts are forming incredibly fast. I get a slight odd taste in my mouth. And NOT as infatuated with makeup which is funny to me. I do go and fondle my makeup, and make a shopping list but not as quick to glob it all on then fight to get it all off. I am more laid back on all that now figuring its all part of the package and use it all as needed whenever. I would love to keep Y’all abreast on things with live feeds and whatnot. But like I mentioned I am screwed at the moment. Long story short on my financial thing is I was fired in Hawaii a year ago March, put on an airplane the following morning by the CEO to be dumped in Shreveport Louisiana. My belongings were reduced to a 5’x5’x5′ crate and shipped to Shreveport where it all still remains to this day in a storage unit. The Vet Center in Shreveport told me to go to Texas or I will die in Louisiana. So I grabbed a laptop a guitar and a backpack and headed for Austin Texas. I got an apartment and fell ill. Then COVID-19 lockdown. I am in a 2bdrm apartment now that HUD is paying the rent portion, my $270 a month income does all the other bills and needs. Its like I am financially incarcerated in this place. I use a door I took off the hinges for a bed. No furniture in here at all. I brought in a wood pallet to make a table with; I need legs for it. After bills are paid I have about $20 a month to work with for soap and cleaning supplies. Thoughts of getting my things 400 miles away in Shreveport are dimming. The one and only local person in Austin I could even talk to on chat just this morning told me she has to go to a COVID Hotel for Quarantine. I am borderline depressed. I would like to leave my phone number ( Google Voice )( I have no phone or communications devices left but an old trash R400 laptop ) but unsure if that is cool here on this forum. So long as this machine stays up online I have Slack, Telegram, Hangouts, G Voice, Discord, Skype, etc… my email ought to not be an issue I hope [email protected] . I had some trouble at first figuring out how to reply here in this Forum. I will stay as active here as possible. Ask me ANYTHING. If I can be of any help it would help me to feel like I am worth something more than food for mosquitoes & bugs. Aloha Georg Curnutt/Tzoi Fuchsia

[Charly]

Hello my nane is Karl (nickname Charly) , a transwoman. This is my first post here, so I try to describe a bit where I m and what I m searching for.

So far I’m acting as a crosssdresser because my coming out did not happen until now. Until today I was not brave enough for the coming out or simply saying waiting for the right moment that did not take place. The next chance I see at the time my family is spreaded over the country anyhow, Nevertheless the job area remains. And It will be hard there for the coming out. So at least maybe for me ti could help to find some people to talk about that. How to do it and how to deal with the reactions.

Besides of this little “coming out” problem, I read a lot about GRS, HRT. I would like to dig into the transition process as such. Also here it would be great to get in touch with some members of that forum to talk to.

Btw Im from Germany, near Frankfurt / Main.

Any help, hints, support is really appreciated and needed.

[FayeMous]

Hello,

Please consider adding The Lavender Clinic (lavendercenterandclinic.org) to your list of resources. We are the only Transgender and LGBQIA+ healthcare center in Hawaii.

[Author]

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