Transgender Transition

[Laurette]

Ladies, what is your definition of “feminine”?

I think there’s more to femininity than long hair, long polished nails, makeup, jewelry, shaving legs and armpits, or wearing skirts, hose, and heels. Feminine is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles commonly associated with women. The extent to which femininity is influenced biologically or socially is controversial. It differs from the definition of the biological female sex in that both men and women can have feminine characteristics. These traits include grace, gentleness, empathy, humility, and sensitivity. Docility has historically been a feminine trait, but that has changed in recent years. In particular, with women in leadership positions or political offices, as well as for lesbians in femme-femme relationships. The ability to multitask, as well as the desire to multitask, is also a feminine trait.

[nqtrans]

Nice summary Laurette.
Classification usually results in feeling of having to conform, regardless of the classification (even non-binary is a classification). My psychologist gave me a subtle warning that my trying to conform with what “trans” means for others could lead to the same long-term depression that I had when trying to conform to society’s expectation of what being male is. One of the outcomes from my sessions which I have to focus on is being authentic (being me).

[JustAnotherJamie]

Hello.
My name is Jamie. Not exactly new to the group, but certainly new to participating in forum. This is the nearest topic descriptor for me to ask a question specific to hormones. I am early 40’s and started medications literally 33 days ago. I must say, I am totally shocked and excited about changes so far. Certainly subtle but, holy cow, I certainly didn’t even expect this at this point. Was wondering if others can relate?
1 – My face is the clearest it has EVER been in regards to acne. Like, since pre-teen. I don’t think I ever had such a length of time with zero acne spots popping up. It has always been at least one spot clearing up while another starts. This is great!
2 – My mindset… Just my ability to focus and even feeling ambitious at my job and being less prone to procrastination. Testosterone isn’t helping me with a general good sense of being it seems.
3 – So, should my nipples already be sore? Ha. just rubbing my chest, I definitely feel a slight dull ache behind my nipples, similar to pushing on a bruise. One is tender more so than the other. I just went for my 1 mo. bloodwork for my endo and no news will be good news as far as results, and labs again at month 3. This is just surprising to feel when all literature made it sound like its a 3-6 month thing. Is this a concern, Am I an outlier?

[Alicia2095]

Today I for the first time ever talked to a therapist and was able to get off my chest that I am transgender male to female it was the greatest feeling ever the woman I spoke to even referred to me as Alicia while we spoke for the first time in my life I feel free I was directed to a transgender health clinic for hormones and other support to help me on my new journey in life , I know many of you all have also been down this road and blazed the trail with courage for others like me to follow thank you all!

[JustAnotherJamie]

Congratulations Alicia! That’s wonderful news. Certainly a big affirming happy step. All the very best with your journey.

[Alicia2095]

Thank you! Omg I feel soooooo happy now like wow so much has been lifted off my mind bottled up for so long and finally being able to tell some one and most of all have that person I was speaking to referring to me as Alicia was wow I cried I was so happy I wanted to explode , telling how I felt and where I want to go with my transition basically my therapist said that in one hour she was able to determine that I Am a transgender woman and would be happy to sign the forms for GRS right now I was speechless but in the end I do want that I will get that but right now I just want to start the journey and see where it takes me this will be the greatest challenge and journey of my life it’s not something one can rush i am just waiting to hear back from the trans health clinic it can take up to 4 weeks I am so excited I will keep posting more as I hear more ??

[forrestgumpdog]

Hello, I’m new here. Looking forward to gaining some knowledge from all of you. In new in everting, my mother tells me that I’m too young to know what I want.. i have 17 years 🙁

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by forrestgumpdog.

[Tommi]

I have been wearing J Jill pants and unisex tops even tunics for a while that my wife bought for me . Recently, I have been wearing Talbot’s male design type jackets and shirts both with male collars over women’s pants at work. This week I wore my first shoes without socks and had my nails in French Nails with a glossy light pink clear top coat and a little foundation. I finally broke down against my better judgment and let my wife , Brenda take me together to her salon to have my hair styled ! I had my shaggy hair unkempt except in male ponytails or man buns put into a long shaped shoulder length parted in the middle dyed as a strawberry dark blonde pageboy. I was terrified and in love with my hair style . I felt it said “ME A FEMININE MAN LIKE MY WIFE JUST BEING A MODERN FEMALE IN APPEARANCE “ but I was happy being a male passing through my computer job , marriage, and social life as my wife’s girlfriend in appearance but husband in marriage. I freaked out when I kept looking in the mirror that I socially have to wear my eyebrows in an arch and makeup to look like a modern young professional woman. But especially socially, I know our friends think I am going to transition. How to let them know I prefer being my wife’s girlfriend in appearance but physically still her male friend.

[Juanita]

Hold on to your fascinator.
I’ve just joined TGForums to encourage everyone to ‘come out’ as soon as possible.
In short, I have just had a massive blunder occur from delaying ‘coming out’.
I have a well enough defined transitioned body and I callled, yes called, my breasts my teddies.
Combined with a bilateral orchidectomy, I have been asymptomatic of all the contingent horrors that can occur, and occurred, in the previous decades before my surgery.
But to my point.
Due to circumstances it was favourable to move onto my sister’s 85 acre property.
But I am not out to my sister and her family, only being in contact with her through the internet for too long to remember.
So what’s the proble.
I was freaking out about being ‘outed’
So I went to my GP and advised him I was having issues with my breasts, which are the most revealing factor.
Long story short, in my heighened state of dysphoria, and this doesn’t end well, I was diagnosed with gynomastia, and underwent a double mastectomy.
Needless to say I am pursuing all avenues to address the complete and total disregard for my transition history.
Why would I transistion for twenty years and then remove the best jewels earned from all that work?
The solution would have been to ‘come out’ to my sister and her family.
I have now a lot harder task to explaim these horrendous and horrible scars and my pectorial oddities.
The moral: Don’t wait to come out.
Take it from me, there sill be an authentic point of womanhood which can be taken from you if you have not fortified your position. .

[EbonyAtropus]

Hello, my name is Ebony and I just joined also.
I came out just last year, and in my opinion, I keep feeling it was far too late : I came out at 40, and am 41 now, and that’s a real long time to be suffering from gender dysphoria knowing who I was since childhood. I always knew there was something up with me, and knew I was trans since around preteen era.
I really want to go through with my transition, and when I came out, everyone was really supportive at first. I was in a very accepting workplace, my friends, family, and spouse of ten years, even said she knew from the beginning. So I want to transition, and am finally seeing a gender therapist about starting hormones next week, but now my spouse is starting to backpedal on this. She doesn’t call me by my name and pronouns, and has even requested I don’t wear makeup or dress feminine in the house….. I talked to her about transition, and she brought up all these fears. Fear I’ll be discriminated against, fear of the health risks, etc. but mostly she’s said she needs time to get used to it, and the general feeling I get from her is that she doesn’t want me to change. She’s told me I’m too old to transition. When I talked about physically transitioning, she got really emotional and said it would be really hard for her, and especially for her extended family.
I’m just really feeling overcome by depression and despair right now. Coming out felt so great, I felt like for once in my life I could be happy because I could be myself and live true, but now I feel like the people around me just want me to go back into the closet and back to how I was…… that deep feeling of loneliness, worthlessness, and constant suicidal thoughts, is a cold, dark empty place I never want to go back to.
I’ve always cared so much for other people, and have always put my needs last in order to avoid hurting anyone, and now I feel like I might eventually have to die, because there’s just no way I can be happy. I have never felt so close to happiness before, and want to transition so badly, more than anything, something I’ve waited my whole life for to feel whole……. but also know how the price of feeling whole will hurt other people. They’re making me feel like I’m selfish or like there’s something wrong with me. Like happiness is something I don’t deserve that I can only have at the expense of sacrificing my relationship with others.
i just feel like i’ve hit a brick wall in life……
i’m just so sorry for being born…….. maybe it’s better than I never was.
Sorry for the emotional outpour, just feeling so hopeless right now.
All the love,
Ebony

[Sarah95]

Hi Everyone:) I have been suffering from body dysmorphia for years. The thing that is stopping me from taking the next step is coming out to those around me. I know that some of my family will not be accepting which obviously makes things a lot harder for me. Another big problem is that most of my current colleges would not be accepting. I feel like I need a fresh start somewhere in a friendlier more accepting environment. I was wondering if anyone had any advice as I’m sure a lot of people have experienced similar problems.

[Sarah95]

Hi everyone:) I have seriously considered beginning my transition for years. The biggest obstacle for me is those around me. Most of the people in my life would not be accepting including colleagues at work. I feel like I need a fresh start somewhere in a more supportive environment. I’m not sure what to do and would appreciate any advice.
Sorry this is my second post for some reason I thought my first one didn’t post haha

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Sarah95.

[Juanita]

Hi Sarah95

I know it sounds like a cliche, but just about everyone says: I wish I had come out earlier.
A transition does not need to be a full disclosure and total embrace of the real experience.
Although 12 months on hormones and living the real experience does qualify for SRS.
Nevetheless, a lot can be done ‘under the radar’ or ‘by stealth’.
Personally, I dressed, used meds and had laser/electrolysis without leaving my male identity.
However, after many years, quietly and privately transitioning I reached a point were concealment was no longer possible.
My point is that it takes several years tp ‘blossom’ and that gives you plenty of time to manage any adjustments and consider where and how you ‘come out’.

[mx.crow]

Hey everyone. Don’t have much to say other than I know somebody desperately trying to fund transition surgery through gofundme (link on profile if interested). It’s crazy how expensive these things can be but I think we all know it’s well worth it.

[Crossdressing2022]

Hello I like crossdressing up and wear my favorite womens jewelry and clothes and fingernail polish on but too my sister who is supposed to be here with me has been staying a few days with a man named CHRIS VALENTINE when before my daddy passed away they had a talk and my Daddy wanted my sister to move in which she did but past few days has not been here when my brother in law said I can not live alone by myself and would have to come live with my other sister which I rather not when where I have lived nearly 30 years and do not want to move out and loose my home No thanks to CHRIS VALENTINE which is not fair and right at all

[Author]

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